AURELIS Coaching Attitude

An attitude can be dispersed over the population. That may be better than reserving some specific expertise for some particular experts. Coaches will still be needed, but with a different source and aim. What is this attitude? An attitude may sound like it’s simple. It is not. You may read about it in many blogs, Read the full article…

Concretely

This may not be the most accessible text for some. It’s a short invitation to think abstractly about concreteness ― its importance and possible pitfall in matters of the mind. The general idea of this text in five bullet point We have a natural propensity towards concreteness. “Animals don’t philosophize.’ On the positive side, this Read the full article…

Problem -> Goal -> Cause -> Being There

Not all simple things are interesting, but all interesting things are easy to express in words. Such as:               • What’s the problem? -> What’s the goal?                            • What is the deeper purpose?                            • What is the cause of this deeper purpose? Why do you want that?                            • Be there.              In the case of superficial goals, it is not so interesting to Read the full article…

Lightbulbs and Human Energy

Please read first [see: “Dimming the Lightbulbs“] You can also view the image of the lightbulbs from a different angle. That is: the underlying glow of the lights is ‘human energy,’ or motivation, deeper and deeper as you enter a more meaningful and vague domain Where does the ‘glow’ ultimately come from? You may say: Read the full article…

Dimming the Lightbulbs

Imagine a large number of tiny lights as a kind of lightbulbs scattered in a room. These lights represent the purely conceptual thoughts in a person’s mental landscape. This is conceptual thinking that also thinks about itself in a similarly conceptual way. In other words, this is ego-minded consciousness. Also, imagine gleams behind the bulbs (or Read the full article…

What vs. How in Psychotherapies

Crucial is where change comes from: the outside or the inside. I see in the latter the Compassion-factor. Compassion For a quick entry into the concept of Compassion as I use it, [see: “Compassion, basically“] Compassionate healing comes from the inside out. This ‘inside’ doesn’t just mean ‘inside the mind.’ It goes deeper within the Read the full article…

Goal of Lisa Coaching

Every Lisa coaching session – as well as string of sessions – is part of a path towards healing from the inside. From goal to broader The goal of Lisa coaching [see: “Lisa“] starts at the beginning. This is, validating the outspoken goal of the user. Then, with user consent, going somewhat deeper into this Read the full article…

Wounded Healing

Having been wounded helps an (AURELIS) coach in-depth to get nearer to coachees ― especially if one has learned/grown from such experiences. The wounded healer This is a healer/coach who can understand another wounded person, not just intellectually, but even more experientially and profoundly. This may frequently be more important than capturing the whole factual Read the full article…

‘To Believe’ within Coaching

A coach’s genuine belief in the coachee enables the coachee’s positive change. This kind of belief is a deep two-way communication. This may be one of the most challenging things for any human being. If it looks simple, the road is longer. Genuine belief, from the inside out This is like a leader’s deeply felt Read the full article…

Resistance to Change

People may want to change at the surface, but not in-depth. If the cause of some maladaptation lies in depth, change may be simultaneously sought and resisted. Resistance as fence >< as lack of motivation A particular reason for not wanting to change is like a mental fence that protects the person from uncomfortable feelings Read the full article…

How to Turn a Square into a Circle

‘Turning a square into a circle’ is a metaphor for psycho-therapy. There are two opposite directions: from the inside out and from the outside in. Preliminary In this text, I denote with the term ‘psycho-therapy’ the domain of psychotherapy and mind-related coaching in a broad sense. This text describes a conceptual landscape. Any practitioner, any Read the full article…

Is a Good Coach Makeable?

In a broad sense, much in the world hangs on this. The answer depends on a profound view upon the human being. What is a good coach? Straightforwardly, a good coach is a successful coach. But what is success in coaching/therapy? This question may be answered in several ways. [see: “What is Success in Therapy?“] Read the full article…

Coaching Happens In-Depth

In issues that transcend the purely conceptual, change is needed at the same level as the issue. Please read first [see: “Mental Change: How it Works“] Contrasting In order to clarify the coaching endeavor, it is interesting to contrast it with the therapeutic one. Both can be enacted simultaneously. The coaching endeavor may be openly Read the full article…

Triangle of Therapy

This is a conceptual landscape of psychotherapy/coaching. The three corners are A) Instrumental methodologies, B) Good-friend-therapy, and C) Open coaching. Conceptual landscape This has an abstract intention, being about concepts. The three corners are extremes of three continua (the triangle’s lines). Individuals and individual opinions can be present at any point (or subarea) within this Read the full article…

‘Transference’

soon

Two Extinctions

A recurrent maladaptive behavior, thought, or feeling can gradually diminish in two ways. Either it entirely disappears, or it dissolves. There are differences in path and endpoint. About extinction A mental ‘problem’ is usually recurrent. That’s the reason why people search for help, including professional help. In one word: therapy (or mental coaching). ‘Extinction’ is Read the full article…

G.I.M.O.

Each formal human- or Lisa-coaching (or job interview) ends with a G.I.M.O.: Goals – Insights – Motivations – Obstructions. A G.I.M.O. is succinct and set up within the dialogue between the coach or Lisa and the user. It serves as a focus to work towards a take-home for the user (as homework) a pick-up at Read the full article…

Lisa = Mental Hygiene

So is the AURELIS project in general, supporting a natural flow from the psychological viewpoint. Such mental hygiene is always relevant. [see: “AURELIS in Healthcare Context“] If you don’t know Lisa, please meet her at [see: “Lisa“] Lisa does not perform any diagnosis. Moreover, she sees a user’s symptoms mainly as possible entry points towards Read the full article…

The Water and the Jug

Constructionism in a poem. Please read [see: “Constructionism“] But let’s start with the poem. Form of water The form of water in a jug is the form of the jug without jug. But without jug the water flows away immediately spontaneously. ▪▪▪ The form of content in form is the form of form without form. Read the full article…

Mental Patterns Change through Autosuggestion

This may even be the only way in which they can ethically and adequately change. There is a clear responsibility involved to do this as well as possible. Autosuggestion is the language that directly touches mental patterns. [see: “Patterns in Neurophysiology“] It is related to poetry in its metaphorical means, a meditative mental setting, and Read the full article…

Is Change Difficult?

Especially deep change. It’s a cultural thing to find it difficult. And so it is. Is it? Coaching is about change, one way or another. [see: “Coaching is everywhere“] Being a coach Your opinion as a coach matters in this. If you think change is difficult, then you risk conveying this to the coachee. In Read the full article…

Growing towards AURELIS Coach

AURELIS coaching is quite related to Compassion. (The masculine is used in this as generic gender.) The only instrument is the coach AURELIS coaches do not use methodologies as instruments to change coachees.  Thus, it is not the case that anyone can instrumentally learn to AURELIS-coach. Nevertheless, a lot can be learned. I prefer to Read the full article…

Is Short-Term Enough in Therapy?

This issue is relevant to any therapy. In my view, it is most pertinent to psychotherapy. A clear and present tension In psychotherapy, we may expect the quality being largely related to effect-longevity. To many people – as to me – a temporary feel-good is not what is expected from psychotherapy. Contrast this with pharmacotherapy. Read the full article…

The Stream of Non-Consciousness

The conscious train of thought may appear like a self-propelling stream of consciousness. The reality is different, carrying immense consequences. The image before the thousand words Please read on. The image and a few consequences will become clear by the end of the words. Constructed vs. fundamental reality The horizontal line in the middle schematically Read the full article…

Empathy ― Sympathy

Differences are subtle yet essential ― even more so in healthcare, for instance. Semantics To avoid conceptual misunderstanding, please see the image at [see “Landscape of Empathy”] before reading further. To me, empathy is sitting in the boat, while sympathy is swimming in the water of the stream. Even so, there is no strict delineation Read the full article…

Compassionate Goal of Coaching

This goes further than usual. Compassion takes into account the total person and leads to Inner Strength. More than symptomatic This means that people need some proper insight early on. To some, this may be a hurdle even to consider it as a worthy goal. The West, at least, has become a symptomatic society. For Read the full article…

The Coach’s Charisma

Crucial is where it comes from: the outside or the inside. I see in the latter the Compassion-factor. Compassion [see: “Two-Sided Compassion”] Compassionate healing comes from the inside out. This ‘inside’ doesn’t just mean ‘inside the mind.’ It goes deeper within the mind itself in accordance with subconceptual processing, getting to inside mental-neuronal patterns. [see: Read the full article…

Meaning and (AURELIS) Coaching

The goal and methods of AURELIS coaching are very much meaning-related. However, the concept of ‘meaning’ is difficult and frequently not well understood. [see: “The Meaning of Meaning”] Common factors are meaning-related As you may know, I categorize ‘common factors in healthcare’ into placebo and empathy. [see: “From Common Factors to AURELIS”] It is not Read the full article…

Sacred Space of Coaching

This is about deep meaningfulness. No magic required. In sacred space, things can happen from the inside out. This is the best way in many mind-related issues. We should stay scientific. If we don’t incorporate things like ‘sacred space’ into science, we leave it to nonscience. It may then still make sense in a non-scientific Read the full article…

Towards AURELIS Coaching

This is a direction, not an end-point, nor any point somewhere nearby.  It is a road to be traveled on while enjoying the landscape. No therapy In AURELIS, there is no attacking of any disease, nor symptom, be it mental or physical. The AURELIS aim is, where appropriate, to go deeper than the outer symptom Read the full article…

In Search of Nonbelief

Taking Inner Strength as goal, nothing should stand between it and the person as an individual. Lending much-needed proper support to this is the Aurelian way. In this blog text, the concept of ‘belief’ denotes the result from a continual search for deeper meaning whereby this result doesn’t flow naturally from inside out. Such belief Read the full article…

Mental Change: How it Works

This is about any mental change, such as in coaching, psychotherapy, and leadership. It is simple and complex. [see: “Complexity of Complexity“] It works the way the brain works. Insight into the mind-brain’s pattern recognition and completion is very telling. [see: “Your Mind-Brain, a Giant Pattern Recognizer“] The brain continually changes. While you read this Read the full article…

Can Lisa Unify Psychotherapy?

Bold question. Please don’t take it too seriously (for the time being). Lisa might help in unifying the domain of psycho-therapy through bringing a detached perspective in combination with an in-depth view upon mental change based on insights from neurocognitive science. Even so, this is only the beginning and the end. What comes between is Read the full article…

AURELIS Transformative Mediation

AURELIS coaching is apt to be the basis for transformative mediation. (With mediation is meant in this blog text the AURELIS-based transformative kind.) Transformative mediation Of the two broad categories of mediation – arbitrage and transformative mediation – AURELIS mediation naturally is of the transformative kind, directed to depth, openness… well, AURELIS ethics [see: “Five Read the full article…

About Communication

You have to Listen to hear it. ►►► WHY read this? In a more and more complex world, communication becomes ever more important.◄◄◄ You listen to someone. This someone talks about all kinds of things. You know what it’s about. You understand what that person is saying. But that is not enough. Do you also Read the full article…

AURELIS-Coaching: Coach = Coachee

This is about almost becoming another human being without losing oneself. It is very normal. It is very special, indeed. ►►►WHY read this? The professional coach-coachee relationship will become one of the most interesting.◄◄◄ This is pretty much central to AURELIS-coaching. The identity function (‘=’) is more than about a relationship on equal footing. The Read the full article…

Psychotherapists in AURELIS setting

Looking into my crystal ball, I see many changes coming gradually from the future towards psychotherapy and psychotherapists. One thing is for sure: It will be exciting. See also Aurelis Coaching Institute. I write this text from an AURELIS/Lisa standpoint. My crystal ball is nice to me. It shows me the future in these terms, Read the full article…

Listening to Silence

Silence: absence of clutter in the mind. Listening to Silence within you OK. This is meditation, whether on a cushion or in the midst of a busy street… or while coaching someone or while just having an everyday conversation or while enjoying art Listening to Silence doesn’t mean that you don’t hear anything else. It’s Read the full article…

Deep Listening

is probably the hardest thing to do. It’s also very important. People continuously use terms of which they think others surely know what is meant, as if these terms are exact pointers to abstract, ‘Platonian’ concepts. However: look at the brain and you notice that concepts-as-used-by-humans can never be ‘Platonian’ even if one can delineate Read the full article…

The Art of Why

‘Why?’ can be asked in an analytical way. Then it’s a kind of delving into the psyche. Contrary to this, the art of why is an invitation, the answer an emergent road. The why?-question is always multidimensional. One can look at it from a historical perspective, a genetic perspective, a societal one, a personal-history one Read the full article…

What You Can ‘Learn’ from Your Symptom

People ask me this because it regularly appears in AURELIS. Actually, it’s already present within the last two letters, standing for Inner Strength. Symptom as communication ‘from deep inside’ To the degree that your symptom is psycho-somatic – as most chronic symptoms are – it’s present because deep inside yourself, something deserves attention. Something is Read the full article…

The Importance of ‘Certainty’

With ‘certainty’ I mean something that you can see as a kind of open surrogate for the belief in a placebo. This is to say: the action of believing in it (so the power, without the lie of it). It is a ‘certainty’ that you can basically take up yourself and that makes many things Read the full article…

How to Open Someone to Change

Trying to ‘open’ someone to a change of view or behavior, is a common situation. It’s that of a coach with a coachee, or of you perhaps, wanting to ‘open’ someone to another view. People have a natural resistance to be changed. Quite rightly so. There is a natural tendency towards survival as an individual. Read the full article…

Dancing With the ‘Deeper Self’

Letting emerge a ‘spontaneous association’, seems to be one of the easiest things to do. But what exactly is a ‘spontaneous association’? Is every thought ultimately a ‘spontaneous association’, or is there qualitatively more in the game? ‘Spontaneous’ is gradual of course. It is possible to let a spontaneous association about a particular idea emerge… Read the full article…

Vision!

A coach and a leader have in common what is perhaps their main asset: the ability to ‘see what no other has seen before’, a future that is at the same time personal and universal. [Note: this is not an easy text.] This is not about eye-vision of course. In the coach’s case it may Read the full article…

Burnout prevention for caregivers: give care, but do not ‘give it away’

Caregivers can get into the habit of ‘giving themselves away’ too much. Take care. You can learn to give without giving yourself away. ‘Giving away’ feels like you lose something. If this is your feeling as a caregiver, time and time again, then little by little you can start feeling bad. It’s as if others Read the full article…

Coaching is everywhere

Communication is three things: spontaneously expressing oneself, providing information, influencing others. Plus: being-communicated-to, of course. Look closely and you see coaching. When people really communicate, they coach each other and themselves. They invite some deeper meaning to be considered. They motivate towards change from inside out. This is not hard or heavy. On the contrary, Read the full article…

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