Deep Listening

is probably the hardest thing to do. It’s also very important. People continuously use terms of which they think others surely know what is meant, as if these terms are exact pointers to abstract, ‘Platonian’ concepts. However: look at the brain and you notice that concepts-as-used-by-humans can never be ‘Platonian’ even if one can delineate Read the full article…

The Art of Why

‘Why?’ can be asked in an analytical way. Then it’s a kind of delving into the psyche. Contrary to this, the art of why is an invitation, the answer an emergent road. The why?-question is always multidimensional. One can look at it from a historical perspective, a genetic perspective, a societal one, a personal-history one Read the full article…

What You Can ‘Learn’ from Your Symptom

People ask me this because it regularly appears in AURELIS. Actually, it’s already present within the last two letters, standing for Inner Strength. Symptom as communication ‘from deep inside’ To the degree that your symptom is psycho-somatic – as most chronic symptoms are – it’s present because deep inside yourself, something deserves attention. Something is Read the full article…

The Importance of ‘Certainty’

With ‘certainty’ I mean something that you can see as a kind of open surrogate for the belief in a placebo. This is to say: the action of believing in it (so the power, without the lie of it). It is a ‘certainty’ that you can basically take up yourself and that makes many things Read the full article…

How to Open Someone to Change

Trying to ‘open’ someone to a change of view or behavior, is a common situation. It’s that of a coach with a coachee, or of you perhaps, wanting to ‘open’ someone to another view. People have a natural resistance to be changed. Quite rightly so. There is a natural tendency towards survival as an individual. Read the full article…

Dancing With the ‘Deeper Self’

Letting emerge a ‘spontaneous association’, seems to be one of the easiest things to do. But what exactly is a ‘spontaneous association’? Is every thought ultimately a ‘spontaneous association’, or is there qualitatively more in the game? ‘Spontaneous’ is gradual of course. It is possible to let a spontaneous association about a particular idea emerge… Read the full article…

Vision!

A coach and a leader have in common what is perhaps their main asset: the ability to ‘see what no other has seen before’, a future that is at the same time personal and universal. [Note: this is not an easy text.] This is not about eye-vision of course. In the coach’s case it may Read the full article…

Burnout prevention for caregivers: give care, but do not ‘give it away’

Caregivers can get into the habit of ‘giving themselves away’ too much. Take care. You can learn to give without giving yourself away. ‘Giving away’ feels like you lose something. If this is your feeling as a caregiver, time and time again, then little by little you can start feeling bad. It’s as if others Read the full article…

Coaching is everywhere

Communication is three things: spontaneously expressing oneself, providing information, influencing others. Plus: being-communicated-to, of course. Look closely and you see coaching. When people really communicate, they coach each other and themselves. They invite some deeper meaning to be considered. They motivate towards change from inside out. This is not hard or heavy. On the contrary, Read the full article…