Silence of Coaching

January 1, 2022 AURELIS Coaching No Comments

Silence is the space in which you let the coachee be himself.

►►► AURELIS Coaching for Coaches (read this first)

Working with silence becomes very interesting when the silence works through you.

Of course, the use in itself of silences can only be a technique. When it becomes part of a balancing act of which you as a total person are another part, it takes on something magical. It is the stillness of meditation. It is the emptiness that is an interplay of two ‘deeper selves’.

It is a specific space in which something special can exist, in which something new can arise here-and-now.

Experiencing this together is perhaps the thing that most connects people to each other of everything that exists.

Of course it remains a special relationship: AURELIS-coach ― client. It remains a professional relationship at all times. And yet, or perhaps because of this, silence can be played in this way so that the relationship, temporary as it is, takes on an unusual depth. In this way, silence is a very liberating and very ‘therapeutic’ thing.

You can say: such silence is Silence.

It has a lot to do with ‘infinite’ patience: not the patience of “and now I’ve been patient enough…” which is just impatience with a jacket.

“Infinite” patience is what the term itself says: time is completely unimportant. Not that it has to take long. It can even be very short. Logical: time doesn’t even matter. The ‘infinite’ is in the attitude, in leaving the coachee completely free.

It is also really the space of the here-and-now, the only space in which a profound change can occur. One does not change (grow) in the yesterday or in the tomorrow. One changes in the here-and-now.

You can also meditate (or ‘contemplate’) on what has just been said in this same room.

The Silence is not aimed at associations purely on a conscious level, neither with yourself, nor with the coachee. IF you can show this during this silence (smile?) and/or in the words after the silence, then you will occasionally (perhaps surprisingly often) notice an enormous gratitude for this in the coachee. After all, he/she feels the deep attention you give.

And it’s subtle, it’s something you can quickly get past and yet it’s very substantial: deep attention is of the utmost importance to a human being. It is a direct communication deep-to-deep.

It is the place where one feels completely at home.

Leave a Reply

Related Posts


Each formal human- or Lisa-coaching (or job interview) ends with a G.I.M.O.: Goals – Insights – Motivations – Obstructions. A G.I.M.O. is succinct and set up within the dialogue between the coach or Lisa and the user. It serves as a focus to work towards a take-home for the user (as homework) a pick-up at Read the full article…

Meaning and (AURELIS) Coaching

The goal and methods of AURELIS coaching are very much meaning-related. However, the concept of ‘meaning’ is difficult and frequently not well understood. [see: “The Meaning of Meaning”] Common factors are meaning-related As you may know, I categorize ‘common factors in healthcare’ into placebo and empathy. [see: “From Common Factors to AURELIS”] It is not Read the full article…

Two Extinctions

A recurrent maladaptive behavior, thought, or feeling can gradually diminish in two ways. Either it entirely disappears, or it dissolves. There are differences in path and endpoint. About extinction A mental ‘problem’ is usually recurrent. That’s the reason why people search for help, including professional help. In one word: therapy (or mental coaching). ‘Extinction’ is Read the full article…

Translate »