This is a very deeply ingrained attitude of “it’s always OK”.
►►► AURELIS Coaching for Coaches (read this first)
So deeply ingrained that it can look very different on the surface.
You’re a bit grumpy or even having a contrarian day… and yet the background, the color scheme on which everything takes place, is completely OK.
The sun always shines there.
This can initially be a pose that you take, but then a sincere pose.
It is not hypocrisy, because it is about an attitude that you more and more naturally WANT to adopt. You are not bringing into this someone you are not, for you WANT to be this deep within yourself and therefore you ARE it deep within.
It just has to show itself.
Thinking positive? A positive attitude to life? A glass half full of optimism? The difference may seem subtle at times, yet it is substantial.
This is about a real being that you invite deep within yourself.
You don’t force anything. You don’t push through. You invite.
When it comes (like a “cloud that permeates you”), it is good. If it doesn’t come, it’s just as good. The sun always shines in this domain.
My daughter wants to leave home and that hurts me so much.
How old is she?
And she wants to leave.
[Here I feel a major multi-layer crack and I name it right away.]
Away from ‘you’.
And you don’t want her to go!
That’s beautiful! Did you have many good times?
Had a lot of fun together.
Yes [gives some examples.]
I see you cared a lot about each other.
And so still care.
Yes [moist eyes]
If she goes, can you let her go completely and then when she comes back, can you let her be back completely?
That would be best huh.
Especially for her…
And for me too.
I haven’t lost her.
And she doesn’t really want to “get away from you” either.
[Coach and coachee both smile and think about their children.]