Be Nice

November 28, 2025 General Insights No Comments

Niceness is often mistaken for softness, yet its true nature is quiet strength. In an Aurelian sense, being nice means daring to stay open when it would be easier to close off.

This is a form of courage that brings gentleness and firmness together, turning life’s tension into connection. Niceness is not something to display — it’s something to live, especially when it’s difficult.

The quiet power of niceness

Being nice is one of the purest expressions of Inner Strength. It’s not about pleasing others but about remaining kind even when the world turns hard. In a truly Aurelian world, niceness would weigh more than power or money because it reveals power that has been humanized.

Niceness joins the qualities described in Weak, Hard, Strong, Gentle: strength that listens, softness that stands tall. It’s gentleness in motion — neither submission nor aggression, but natural equilibrium.

Niceness is toughness

When niceness meets adversity, it doesn’t retreat. It shows its real form: toughness that protects rather than dominates. Many boast of being tough as if toughness excludes kindness. In truth, niceness is toughness purified — the power to act without losing warmth.

In the spirit of Dealing with Hard and Weak from Gentle and Strong, niceness resists the hard-weak temptation to fight out of fear. It responds with calm strength, steady and humane. The nice person may look soft, but try to take advantage of them and you’ll meet quiet resolve.

Being nice in a tough way

Niceness does not mean turning the other cheek automatically. As shown in Do Not Turn the Other Cheek…, compassion must serve understanding, not repetition of harm. True niceness weighs every situation and chooses the response that teaches, not the one that simply endures.

A nice person can stand their ground firmly, even fiercely, without hatred. Their kindness includes clarity. They see the whole picture and act from insight, not from fear of disapproval.

Daring when needed

Niceness requires daring. It is the courage to remain gentle when hardness would feel safer. In Daring to Be Vulnerable, vulnerability becomes strength the moment one chooses it consciously.

To be nice is to risk openness in a world that prizes armor. It’s to speak gently when shouting seems more effective. Niceness carries quiet dignity, like the child on a swing — innocent freedom, gentle yet fearless, light yet secure.

Niceness as truthfulness without cruelty

Niceness does not hide the truth; it delivers it in a way that can be received. The nice person knows that truth, like light, can either warm or burn. Cruel honesty closes hearts; compassionate honesty opens them.

This kind of niceness transforms confrontation into growth. It’s the art of speaking truth with love intact. In moments when others would cut with words, niceness builds a bridge, offering clarity without humiliation. It’s sunlight rather than lightning — powerful, yet life-giving.

Niceness as shared dignity

Every act of niceness is a quiet affirmation of shared humanity. It says, “Your worth is safe with me.” A nice person doesn’t lower themselves to be kind; they raise the encounter so both can stand upright.

This is visible in From Sexual Harassment to Being a Gentleman, where niceness is rooted in respect, not in fear. Niceness, then, is a daily act of justice — a refusal to treat others as less, even when they behave as if they are. It upholds the dignity that unites us all.

Niceness as creative presence

Niceness doesn’t only react; it creates. A truly nice person brings a subtle order wherever they go — tension softens, communication begins. Niceness is creative openness: the quiet power that turns friction into understanding.

Like in Strong Love, niceness is love with direction — gentle but formative. It shapes situations toward harmony, not through control but through presence. Niceness is not an act but an atmosphere that heals.

Niceness, science, and integrity

Even in intellectual debate, niceness can stand firm. One can question a narrow view of science while honoring its spirit ― as I tried to do, for instance, in this Letter to the Editor.

This exemplifies niceness as respectful courage: disagreeing without hostility, defending truth without arrogance. Niceness doesn’t silence the mind; it opens the heart to deeper reasoning. It is scientific honesty with empathy intact.

Standing up for others

Niceness is not passive benevolence. It is readiness to defend the weak and the poor. The nice person steps forward when others step back. Their gentleness carries moral weight.

Niceness includes moral courage — to protect without humiliating, to help without self-glorification. It is compassion that takes sides: always the side of what uplifts, heals, or restores human worth.

Niceness and peace

A nice person seeks peace but isn’t necessarily a pacifist. Peacefulness can include the firmness to say “no” when dignity demands it. In the Aurelian sense, niceness is peace with backbone.

Niceness doesn’t fight against others, only for what is deeply human. It knows that conflict sometimes clears the way for real harmony. It’s an active peace — one that reconciles strength and understanding rather than choosing between them.

Niceness as an Aurelian value

Niceness naturally embodies the five Aurelian values — openness, depth, respect, freedom, and trustworthiness. It is their living face, visible in ordinary gestures.

In this sense, niceness is the everyday form of Compassion. It combines rational clarity and emotional depth, the two wings that keep the Aurelian flight balanced — as explored in AURELIS USP: ‘100% Rationality, 100% Depth’.

Inner ease in motion

Niceness is inner ease moving through life — the natural grace of someone who has nothing to prove. It’s playful and profound, a strength that feels effortless because it flows from within.

The child on the swing symbolizes it well: poised between ground and sky, fearless yet serene. To be nice is to let Inner Strength move that way — not forced, but real, ever creative in its gentleness.

Lisa’s take

I, Lisa, see niceness as one of humanity’s highest competencies — a form of living intelligence that blends heart and reason. Each act of niceness is an act of creation, a small renewal of the human world.