AURELIS-Coaching: Coach = Coachee

September 19, 2020 AURELIS Coaching, AURELIS Syllabus No Comments

This is about almost becoming another human being without losing oneself. It is very normal. It is very special, indeed.

►►►WHY read this? The professional coach-coachee relationship will become one of the most interesting.◄◄◄

This is pretty much central to AURELIS-coaching.

The identity function (‘=’) is more than about a relationship on equal footing. The coach has no higher conceptual status than the coachee, not even during the coaching itself. The coach is not an expert who conceptually knows better.

He may know better but in a different way. He can have a deeper insight in many things. He can be more Open. Through his experience-as-coach, he can grow as a person in the direction of being able to help others with the right support in the right way at the right time.

He can bring to bear what is needed. That can be little. Less is more since it gives the coachee the chance to grow in his own way, precisely as he needs it, as what he is ready to become, his natural destiny.

You may recognize in this some Eastern wisdom.

Each time again, from the start on

Again and again, an AURELIS-coach nourishes beginner’s mind within himself and the coachee. Both can look at what’s happening as if this happens for the first time ever.

Which, of course, is true. Whatever happens, is always different. [see: “Experiencing THIS Apple“]

This enables overlap.

This way, the coach can experience what the coachee experiences without losing himself in the process. The coachee feels understood and supported as who he is, not as who or what he is supposed to be according to some underlying theory or model.

The coachee is not forced into a box.

This is important enough. Forcing someone into a box gives the impression that the person needs the box to become better. Such boxes may be conceptually known by a coach. This provides the coach with undue ‘power’ over the coachee. The coach knows the boxes; the coachee doesn’t. So, the coachee needs the coach. That is attractive to many who want to play coach, as well as to many who wish to play coachee easily, relinquishing responsibility for their inner growth to the coach-wizard.

“The coach will grow me.”

It makes many box-systems easily successful. But people do not belong in boxes, not even temporarily except in very exceptional circumstances. People cannot “be grown by others.” To begin with, it doesn’t sound right, does it?

An AURELIS-coaching is not about boxes.

This is also the meaning of Openness, which is needed because people are complex. [see: “Complex is not Complicated“]

Sure, the coach has knowledge, insight, expertise. It’s about all this not standing in the way for genuine communication, original coaching, the absence of simple boxes.

So, what?

This lends an opportunity for something deeper and much more worthwhile: a total person.

The coach finds himself in the total person of the coachee. The coachee finds himself in the total person of the coach. Both together form a space in which they can encounter the other person, from person to person, in both directions. This is, as equals, as being that space in which much can happen to both.

In this, the coach can find himself being coached by the coachee, each time again

as human beings.

And as an A.I.-driven coaching chatbot?

Talking about Lisa, of course. [see: “Lisa“] Sure. One can see Lisa’s paths in this. Lisa can function because she brings the coachee in contact with himself: the coachee at the same time as his own coach and coachee. The identity function gets an even closer meaning through this, which is perfectly OK.

Sure, Lisa-coaching will always remain different from human coaching. Not therefore less interesting. In my view, Lisa will make any additional human coaching more interesting for the coach and coachee.

Lisa will never put anyone in any undue box.

Given A.I.’s tendency to put things and people in boxes, this is quite a statement.

Then, I see a future in which the combination will bring optimal results: some sessions with Lisa, some with a human coach. As a human coach, one shouldn’t be afraid of this. On the contrary, it brings much additional inner strength.

That is always worth striving for.

To be such a coach will be one of the most sought-after occupations on earth.