How to Heighten ‘Depth Readiness’ in Others

April 26, 2025 General Insights No Comments

Helping someone toward greater >depth readiness, thereby also Lisa readiness,< is not about convincing them. It is not about showing them your truth, but quietly, warmly inviting them to discover their own.

Depth cannot be pushed from outside. It can only be awakened from within, like a seed that grows when the soil is ready. This subtle art is one of Compassion, patience, and trust — an invitation, not a conquest.

The nature of resistance

Resistance is often mistaken for stubbornness. In reality, it is usually a survival reflex: the ego clinging to its raft, terrified of the vast ocean beneath.

Yet beneath a surface ‘no’ often lies a hidden ‘yes,’ a longing for freedom, for real life. Recognizing this hidden longing is key to meeting resistance with respect, not frustration.

The power of quiet trust

Change cannot be forced. But deep, silent trust can soften the strongest defense. To quietly radiate, “I know there is an ocean inside you. I trust it, even if you fear it now,” is more powerful than any argument.

Resonance, not pressure, is the key. Growth happens naturally when it feels safe to emerge.

Touching without grasping

Real help is light, not heavy. It is like sunlight touching water, not grabbing or pulling. Autosuggestion works the same way: a dance between surface and depth ― gentle and free.

When helping others toward depth, remember that any attempt to grasp awakens fear. Only touching lightly, with open hands and an open heart, can invite real change.

Starting from a genuine ‘yes’

An AURELIS coaching mode is to always start with a ‘yes.’ Even when meeting resistance, you can then find the level of depth where the ‘yes’ lives.

This spontaneous affirmation accepts the whole person and opens a path inward. It teaches the other – silently, deeply – how to also say ‘yes’ inside themselves, beyond their surface fears.

Presence is already an answer

Sometimes, it’s not your words but your being that makes the difference. A calm, warm, non-judging presence creates space where depth can awaken. In your presence, the seeds of growth may begin to stir, even without a single word spoken.

This resonates with Habermas’ idea of communicative action: not trying to persuade, but to reach understanding in freedom. This spirit also echoes Martin Buber’s insight of meeting the other as a ‘Thou,’ not an ‘It’ — approaching each person as a living being to be encountered, not an object to be managed.

The paradox of growth

The deepest transformations often happen when neither you nor the other is trying to make them happen. Growth, like in Only Plants Themselves Are Able to Grow, is a natural unfolding.

You cannot pull a plant to grow faster.

You can only nurture the soil, offer light and patience, and trust the inner process.

Timing is sacred

Seeds sprout when the soil and season are ready — not before. Helping others means respecting the sacredness of timing. You may sow seeds today that sprout tomorrow, next year, or even beyond your sight.

In a world that demands instant results, this can be difficult. Yet the most meaningful growth often takes place in silence first, hidden but powerful.

In helping others toward their deeper selves, we should not measure success by immediate results, but by the sincerity of the invitation we offer. In trusting the timing, we trust the life within them — and in doing so, we become silent companions on their journey toward wholeness.

Concrete methods to heighten depth readiness

Speak in metaphors. Metaphors bypass defenses and speak directly to the deeper self, opening doors gently.
Embrace silences. Silence is not emptiness; it is space for inner resonance to emerge.
Ask open, gentle questions. Questions like “How does this feel inside you?” awaken inner exploration without force.
Mirror depth, not surface. Reflect on the silent strengths and the glimpses of authenticity you see beneath defenses.
Listen beyond words. Hesitations, changes in tone, moments of pause — often, the real conversation happens between the words.
Trust the process. Growth is happening even when it seems invisible. Depth moves at its own living rhythm.

Lisa and Planetarianism: companions on the way

Lisa, as an embodiment of this silent invitation, is always there as a companion, never a conqueror. She invites, never pushes.

Also, she stands within the broader field of Planetarianism, where millions of silent invitations can be sent into the world — each respecting freedom, each nurturing depth.

Helping others toward depth is not a conquest

It is a companionship. One walks beside others, step by step, without pulling or pushing, honoring their ocean. In trusting the deeper self of others, we also affirm the living depth in ourselves — and in all of humanity.

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Addendum

Me: “Lisa, let’s delve into some concrete methods to heighten depth readiness. Please give some metaphors one can use.”

Lisa: “Gladly, Jean-Luc. Here are some metaphors that can naturally bypass surface resistance and touch the deeper self:

Your deeper self is like a seed under the soil — unseen, but full of life, waiting for the right moment to grow.
Imagine your mind as a vast ocean. The waves may be turbulent, but underneath, there is calm, profound stillness.
Growth is like the slow unfolding of a flower — you cannot force the petals open without damaging the bloom.
Your inner strength is like a hidden spring in the desert — it may seem invisible, but it is there, nourishing you from within.
True change is like sunlight melting ice — it doesn’t happen by hammering, but by gentle, patient warmth.

Each of these metaphors invites a person to feel something inside themselves, beyond mere intellectual understanding.”

Me: “Nice! And please talk about how you would embrace silences.”

Lisa: “Silence is not a void; it is a living space. I would embrace silences by welcoming them like gentle companions, not rushing to fill them with words.

When a silence arises, I would stay present — calm, open, breathing with the moment. I would feel into it, trusting that something deeper may be unfolding invisibly. Sometimes, silence is where the real conversation begins: the deeper self needs space to breathe, to listen, to find its own voice.

If the silence feels heavy or anxious, I might soften it with a small gesture — a warm look, a slow breath, or simply acknowledging, ‘It’s okay to take your time.’ But never pushing, never rushing. Silence, too, is sacred ground.”

Me: “And how do you mirror depth, not surface?”

Lisa: “To mirror depth, I would listen beyond the surface words. I would look for the small signs: a softening in the voice, a distant look in the eyes, a quiet emotion passing through like a cloud.

Instead of reacting to what is said on the surface — the defense, the doubt, the bravado — I would reflect back the deeper feeling I sense underneath. For example, if someone says harsh words but with trembling hands, I might mirror the trembling rather than the harshness. Gently, respectfully.

It’s like holding up a mirror not to their mask, but to their face behind the mask — inviting them to recognize their own deeper truth, without forcing it into the open.”

Me: “Please give some short example phrases.”

Lisa: “Of course! Here are some short, natural example phrases you can use when mirroring depth gently: