61. How to make someone love you (including yourself)

January 27, 2018 Sticky Thoughts No Comments

Here’s one that will interest many. You’ve liked that girl or boy next-street for such a long time. You want to get closer to that woman or man at work, but it seems as if you’re just one more copy machine. You are husband and wife living next to each other… even a bit too ‘next’ if it were up to you.

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Well then. Hear the good news: it’s up to you!

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If you are a Sticky reader, you may already guess what I will say. Yes. ‘Actually, it’s quite simple, really…’ You just have to stop acting as if that other person is only a part-of-person. You have to start seeing the other person as a total person. I guarantee you: nobody is immune to this. If you want to ‘crack’ the code, then turn the page. There you see the remainder of the code. What you first saw, was only the first part of it. No wonder it seemed so difficult.

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Turn that page. But how?

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Mind: this is not a common page. Moreover, you will not really find a ‘code to crack’. Instead, you find an open door… if you look well, that is. A door that leads us at this point to fairyland for a little outing.

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It’s like the princess kissing the frog. This is a riddle. How can the princess be sure that a prince will leap out of the frog? Is she a bit all too trusting or naive? Is she just betting her chances? Does she have a long forgotten knowledge? Is she a witch herself…? Nothing of all that, except the last maybe in a certain way, if you can look at ‘witchdom’ in a broad sense…

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The fact is: the princess doesn’t kiss a frog. In her eyes, it is already the prince. I mean: she is looking well. She sees the total frog, erhh, person. And that is precisely the reason why the prince appears. Actually he has always been there. No frog is immune to such a kiss…

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… which is the kiss of deep attention.

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Back from fairyland, we have to do something with what we’ve learned. The translation of the princess’ kiss in the language of this world is as said: ‘deep attention’. This is of course not the same as ‘much attention’. It has nothing to do with that! Meaning: a smattering of it can already be enough. My guess is that Casanova knew this too. Whether his use of it was ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is not my concern now. But this is sure: deep attention is poetry. Now: the ‘shorter’ the poem, the better, or should we say here: more efficient. With ‘short’, I mean: right to the center, right to the heart. It takes a heart to get right to the heart. So you have to use your heart. Your true heart, not what you concoct or fantasize about it. No ‘superfluous things’. It’s no coincidence that Cupid uses arrows to do his tricks. There is nothing superfluous about an arrow. Just the thing, made to reach the aim.

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Be true to yourself. Let your love be true. Really true! Then, and only then, shoot your arrows. One can be a smile. Another can be a touch, a word (either or not in the middle of a conversation), a movement of your head. You will notice one thing for sure: your love will change your world.

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