… he wants to make her mentally grow. Talkin’ about real men.
This does not entail the desire to change her into a different person. Growth is not about being changed. It is precisely about being respected entirely as one is.
Obviously, it’s also not about staying the same. [see: “Growth“] There is a paradox in this that needs to be resolved if not already done.
There is a dance by two individuals that needs to be understood.
It’s about dancing.
While dancing, a man continually invites a woman. He wants to make her shine. That is pleasant for both. Through the dancing itself, she can learn to dance even better and to enjoy it even more.
A real-life dance is communication between bodies and minds. Giving deep attention to this is an instance of him loving her ― as it is of her loving him. In a beautiful dance, it’s always like this.
Another paradox. It’s not about the man ‘knowing it better’ or ‘being better’ in anything.
It’s also not about a make-belief. There is growth involved. At the surface, it may be very much a game.
Surely, there is no battle involved. There is never one winner, always two ― or none. To make any person mentally grow is not possible through the enforcement of one ego by another.
It is beyond ego. Thus:
Only a loving relationship can do so.
It’s tricky when near the borders or beyond love. Here lies a danger in becoming abusive.
The more so because in human growth, one quickly reaches energetic depth. From there, a positive influence is possible to a huge degree [see: “Growth, Compassion, Love“] ― but also a negative.
Power corrupts mere-ego in a matter of minutes.
The loving aim
… is to make her grow as a human being, enjoy this process, and grow from it oneself as only she can make him grow.
At a more profound level, her consensus in this is strictly necessary. OK, paradox again.
It’s a support so close that it looks like making.
It’s a letting-be-supported that is so close that it looks like being made.
In-depth, there is no making, nor being made.
Growth is not always comfortable.
One can find many examples of this in nature. Growth is the most natural thing. In civilization, the emphasis can shift towards comfort to such a degree that more natural aspects get at the sideline.
In this, additionally, caution is needed not to end in abuse. The dividing line may be pretty subtle.
But enough negativity.
One can grow beyond all this.
When a man loves a woman, looks into her eyes, and sees her soul, ‘beyond’ lies in another dimension.
There is no understanding of this when one is confused in dimensions.