What is Not Coming from You, Flattens You

April 26, 2018 Cognitive Insights No Comments

‘Flattens you’ in the sense of being apathic, without depth.

E.g. suppose a mother gives kisses on a sore place and she continues to ‘mother’ the pain with superficial attention for a long time

-> she sensitizes her child for pain by not learning it how to deal with pain from itself. The mother thinks she takes good care of her child, but the effect of her act is the opposite of what she intended, because of her superficial attitude.

Is it interesting for her to realize this?

E.g. erotic imagination in superficial pornography flattens.

In this case, one needs more and more incentives to get sexually excited: harder pornography, always new porn magazines… There is sexual excitement but it is not yours. >< Real eroticism is something completely different!

Can sex make one addicted?

I do not think so. A variation of it (but is in fact only a diluted version of it) can though. Which is then being searched in always again different partners, different movies … However, there is only one sex. A sex addiction is an addiction to the ‘always-something-different’ that does not give pleasure as such. A sex addiction is a shortage of real depth in sexual experience ‘like a cloud that completely pervades you and that you are not yourself. Instead, one finds a depth that is ‘like an iron awl that pierces your soul, but you yourself are not that awl.’

For example, a placebo

gives power to the one that makes dependent at the expense of the one who loses (touch with) his deeper self, through the placebo. Unfortunately, many people and even entire industries are using this to make money. This way we keep busy of course.

The message of the ‘little pill that would not hurt’ = “you will cure”. This is superficial, symptomatic, ignoring, denigrating, disempowering, ‘changing from the outside’, uprooted, preventing growth, devastating, dissociating, throttling, blocking, making addicted… You may find a dozen more yourself.

The AURELIS-attitude is inviting. Not just a little bit, but very deeply.

This also does not assume a little bit of patience, but ‘infinite’ patience. Nothing inhumane. An aspiration though. The basic idea: what is not coming from the person, will sooner or later turn against the person. Scientifically speaking this is horrifically difficult to examine, also because it takes place over longer time periods and in a game of multiple causes and effects.

Welcome to real life.

The inviting can go hand in hand with the use of willpower.

However, care should be taken ‘to render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s’: the awareness of where willpower is applicable and where invitation is a subtle and at the same time important issue. For example martial arts – if well exercised – is interesting in this regard: enormous willpower, enormous discipline and at the same time also the art of smooth motion and fluid spirit.

The deeper self is very attractive .

In fact, it is even the only thing that holds the power of attraction. But if one flies back and forth without any ‘integration’ during or afterwards (as is often also absent in drug-experiences), then one will lose contact with it more and more, like a hank that is thinning. In the long run one risks an ever-increasing addiction(which often happens) through superficiality and to superficiality. As a result one gets a flattening and becomes prone to all kinds of addictions. In the case of chronic drug users, the flattening of emotions often is a big additional problem.

But isn’t the addiction to superficiality itself the biggest addiction of all?