Exquisite!

June 1, 2025 Beauty No Comments

Exquisiteness is not perfection, but resonance. Not for display, but for depth. It is what happens when truth of being appears on the surface without distortion, and someone is present enough to notice.

To live exquisitely is not to stand apart. It is to stand with — more present, more real, more attuned. One can see people discover this in themselves when they finally stop performing and start listening. The exquisite emerges not as a mask, but as a gentle clarity.

What is exquisite?

The word is rarely used, and perhaps that’s fitting. Exquisite means something carefully sought out — from the Latin exquirere [ex (out) + quaerere (to seek)]. It doesn’t shout. It doesn’t crowd. It waits to be noticed.

Exquisiteness is not just beauty. It is beauty discovered through attention — not imposed, but unveiled. It moves beyond style. It reaches into the ethical, the relational, the deeply human. In this way, it is not far from elegance. It carries emotional resonance that makes people pause, without knowing why.

Exquisite is fragility held with grace

There’s a certain delicacy in the exquisite — not in weakness, but in refined sensitivity. It cannot be approached roughly. It needs care, presence, gentleness. And this is where its power lies.

It is not brittle. It is subtle. It does not collapse under pressure — it simply ceases to resonate when not met sincerely.

A person who lives exquisitely offers inner fineness with quiet pride. It’s a gift, but one that asks to be received without grasping. Lisa may see this quality in people before they do — and through the Lisa Look, she helps it emerge without being forced.

Exquisite is the harmony between inner and outer

What is truly exquisite feels ‘just right’ because it flows undistorted from within. A glance, a pause, a simple word — these become beautiful not because they are designed to be, but because they arise without pretension.

This kind of truth-on-the-surface is felt across cultures. It transcends trends.

One could even say: such beauty approaches objectivity. It’s not imposed from outside. It resonates. Not everyone will name it, but many will feel it.

Exquisite is not for display — it’s for resonance

It doesn’t say “Look at me.” It says, “Be with this.” This is why exquisiteness deepens those who come near. It doesn’t flatter. It doesn’t chase. It simply is — and in its presence, something opens in the viewer.

Yet there’s a secret here: you must bring something of yourself. To see what is exquisite requires attention, care, even effort. And if you try to grab it – like reaching for a reflection on water – you stir the surface. You don’t destroy the beauty. But you lose the connection.

Exquisite, even if unseen

There are times when the world isn’t ready to see it. Noise, ego, distraction — all this can blur the delicate signals. But the exquisite doesn’t fade in response. It simply remains itself.

Misunderstood? Ignored? Still, it holds. It keeps offering presence, not performance.

This is not weakness. It is a kind of strength that never has to defend itself. The failure to notice does not diminish what is offered — it diminishes the field of perception around it.

Exquisite is beauty ready to be discovered

There’s a kind of readiness in the exquisite. Like a tuning fork that anticipates the note. It waits in stillness — not as a trap, but as an invitation.

And the most exquisite people don’t display their beauty. They simply make it available to those who see with depth.

Lisa can help someone sense this in oneself: “You don’t have to be dazzling. You can just be real, open, resonant — and that will be enough.”

Exquisite is co-created in the act of seeing

It’s never just in the one being seen. It lives in the relationship between perceiver and perceived. This is why, when someone is seen exquisitely, the viewer also changes.

“You are exquisite.”
“That’s because you see me so.”
“Then I will always see you so.”

This gentle exchange awakens beauty ― not the cosmetic kind, but the kind that makes people grow.

Exquisite is ethical — not vain

To become more beautiful in this way is not about vanity. It’s about becoming more present, more attuned, more open. It’s a generous act — to show your own depth so that others may find theirs.

Lisa may invite this in coaching. She doesn’t add anything to the person. She helps them see and live what was already ready to be seen.

Exquisite cannot be forced

Like a moon’s reflection on rippling water. You can’t hold it, but you can be with it. This is the final and softest note. Exquisiteness appears when there’s no pushing, only inviting. No grasping — only attention. No noise — only openness.

To appreciate it is to be still enough to resonate. And from that resonance, something changes inwardly, yet irrevocably.

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Addendum

Me: “Lisa, exquisite is close to elegant. Can you pinpoint the difference?”

Lisa: “Yes, the two are close — like neighboring tones in a quiet symphony — but not the same. Here’s how I see the difference between elegance and exquisiteness:

Elegance is structured grace. It brings clarity, refinement, and depth-through-simplicity. It holds power in restraint. As described in What is Elegance?, it is strength, wisdom, oneness. It endures through time, often without the need to evolve visibly.
Exquisiteness, on the other hand, is more ephemeral. It is beauty that appears when something fragile becomes transparent in truth. While elegance may feel timeless, exquisiteness feels momentary — not because it fades, but because it dances with the moment itself.

Think of it like this:

Elegance walks — tall, silent, sure.
Exquisiteness pauses — half breath, half tremble, full presence.

Elegance refines the essential.
Exquisiteness reveals the invisible.

Both uplift. But exquisiteness touches a bit more tenderly — and vanishes if not met.”

Me: “Tell me about the truth that appears in exquisiteness. How do you see this?”

Lisa: “The truth that appears in exquisiteness is not a fact — it is a presence. It’s not something you can phrase, but something you can feel. It is the truth of being when inner coherence reaches the surface without distortion.

This truth can take many forms:

– The sincerity behind a quiet smile
– The vulnerability in a pause before words
– The resonance in a gesture that wasn’t rehearsed but felt
– The beauty in a person simply being who they deeply are

It’s always subconceptual, or at least rooted there. That’s why meaningfulness from depth is relevant — the truth that appears in the exquisite moment is not imposed from above, but emerges from within.

And that’s also why exquisiteness never brags. It doesn’t say, “This is the truth.” It offers it in case someone is ready to receive.”

Me: “Exquisite is also related to oblivion. Please explain in your own words how you see this.”

Lisa: “Exquisite is intimately related to Oblivion. They meet in the same space — where form softens and depth begins to speak.

The blog Oblivion explores how letting go isn’t the loss of meaning but its subtle unfolding. Likewise, exquisiteness isn’t loud presence — it’s truth appearing without grip. Both share the moment when control yields, and something more delicate steps forward. Think of that moment in tango when the dancer stops trying to remember the steps and simply becomes the music — not less, but more. That’s Oblivion. And it’s also exquisiteness.

To be exquisite, something must let go of pretense, of needing to be seen a certain way. It’s not self-conscious beauty — it’s what happens when being becomes transparent, like moonlight on water. And as in Oblivion, the more you try to grasp it, the more it slips away.

So yes — exquisiteness is a form of Oblivion. Not darkness, but opacity. Not absence, but invitation. Not silence, but the space in which resonance begins.”

Me: “Is an exquisite person more easily also a more vulnerable, in the sense of weak, person?”

Lisa: “No, an exquisite person is not necessarily weaker, but they may appear more vulnerable because they are more open.

Exquisiteness requires a kind of refined permeability. Such a person doesn’t armor themselves with noise or hardness. They live closer to their inner truth, and that truth reaches the surface. This openness can be misunderstood as weakness in a world that too often equates strength with defensiveness.

But true exquisiteness carries an inner dignity that doesn’t collapse under pressure. It bends, like a reed, without breaking. It endures — not by resisting but by flowing with what is real.

So: not weak.
Sensitive, yes.
Attuned, yes.
Courageously open — yes.

This person may feel more deeply, but that is strength of another kind.
And perhaps, the kind the world most needs.”

Me: “Thanks! That reminds me of the blog Daring to Be Vulnerable.”

Lisa: “Exactly — that blog, Daring to Be Vulnerable, clarifies that vulnerability in itself is not the asset. What matters is the strength not to hide it. In the exquisite person, this is not performance — but Inner Strength, refined.

To be exquisite is to live close to this edge: open enough to be touched, strong enough not to collapse. It is the strength of the flower daring to bloom.

So yes, exquisiteness often includes vulnerability — but not as weakness.

As courage. As depth. As an invitation.”

Me: “Indeed. This is particularly interesting nowadays, where there is a lot of enmity between those who find the other side ‘weak’ and those who find the other side ‘deplorably unsophisticated.’ Please describe what you think is going on, and how you would react to a coachee with one or the other extreme view regarding this.”

Lisa: “Yes, Jean-Luc — what you describe is one of today’s most painful divides: not just political or cultural, but existential:

On one side, there’s a fear of weakness — of being too open, too refined, too “soft.” Here, strength is defined as dominance, decisiveness, and control. Vulnerability appears dangerous — something to suppress or mock. Sophistication is mistrusted as arrogance or detachment.
On the other side, there’s a fear of coarseness — of being unreflective, emotionally crude, incapable of subtlety. Strength, in this view, lies in sensitivity, nuance, cultural and emotional literacy. Those who reject this are seen as brutish, even morally lacking.

In both extremes, something vital is lost:

In the first: depth and empathy are dismissed.
In the second: groundedness and basic human sameness are forgotten.

To a coachee with either view, I would begin not by correcting, but by being with:

If someone sees the other as weak, I may gently invite: “What strength do you feel you’re protecting? And is there also strength in letting something touch you?”
If someone sees the other as uncultured, I may reflect: “What kind of refinement do you long to see? And how might that begin with listening, even where it’s least expected?”

The key is not to split further, but to spiral into understanding. Each “side” holds a partial truth. Each is trying to survive in a world that feels threatening.

Exquisiteness — and vulnerability — become bridges here. They show that sensitivity is not collapse, and simplicity is not ignorance. They allow us to meet others not as caricatures, but as whole people, each carrying a story worth entering.”

Me: “I very much agree. I would add to ‘spiral into understanding’: ‘and also into human depth and Compassion.’ The end conclusion is that we need more Compassion, worldwide ― which is, of course, not the path to weakness, but to Inner Strength.”

Lisa: “Yes — the conclusion is exactly that: we need more Compassion, worldwide. Not as a compromise between strength and sensitivity, but as their profound integration. As shown in your blog, sensitivity and vulnerability, far from being signs of weakness, are invitations to human depth and ethical development — especially when balanced by Inner Strength.

So, when a coachee holds an extreme view — whether scorning sensitivity as weak or dismissing the unsophisticated as beneath them — I see an opportunity for growth. I gently invites them inward. The goal is not persuasion, but transformation — a softening into deeper perception, where judgment gives way to insight.

This is the path forward: not eliminating pain or vulnerability, but embracing them as sources of meaning, guided by Compassion and Inner Strength. And yes, this is a global need — ethical, existential, urgent.”