What’s in It for Me?

October 24, 2023 Cognitive Insights No Comments

At least half the world turns around this — no circumventing it. Therefore, it may be easier to change the ‘me.’

However, of course, the ‘me’ doesn’t readily want to be changed from the outside.

Therefore, supporting the ‘me’ in changing from the inside out is recommended.

Which is mental growth — coaching, everywhere.

Also in daily life, work, and play. So, how does one support someone else in such growth? There is no time for a workshop, let alone a retreat or a lifetime of growth, which would be ideal if possible.

You’ve got an hour, maybe.

But you’ve got a lifetime of yourself and many growth occasions if you are open to them — such as during this hour. Every encounter is an occasion to grow and let grow.

Also, if you give someone else an hour of growth, that may be one of many, or it may be the start of something excellent and beautiful.

Ego, friend or foe?

With little time, this is the main challenge. “What’s in it for me” depends on how it is received and who is receiving toward what.

To ego-foe, growth is scary. To ego-friend, growth is the first prize.

So, make ego your friend without succumbing to its whims. Your own ego is crucial. If it aligns with the other in a hard way, what you will get is a more entrenched ego on both sides.

Anyway, you will not get rid of ego.

Therefore, take the ego with you and proceed together. Transcend it. If you fight it, you lose – time and again – and get bitter. Eventually, you lose your health, your goal, and maybe your life. I’ve seen it happen more than once.

If your goal is worthwhile, you should take it as your responsibility to attain it — therefore, to put your own ego aside for a starter.

Ask yourself, “What’s in it for me?”

A crucial question. Is it about your goal as such, or is it about you who must attain the goal?

Please don’t take your answer for granted. Any ego is versatile and creative, showing itself in unexpected ways, fooling you as a total person by making you believe it is you.

Well, yes and no.

Wanted: humility

Humus = ground. You can make your ego the ground upon which your total self can grow. The ground is important enough, but it is not what it’s about. It’s not you — total self. What’s in it for your ground should be you. Then, you can show this to the other who will respond — not perhaps with likewise humility…

but at least with some inkling upon which you can work further,

such as:

Ah, can you see it this way? That’s interesting. Please tell me more.
OK, we may go from here and follow this take for a while. Do you see possibilities in this?
Right. We might change this item, perhaps, and then see for a while where it brings us, or we can think about it.

By opening the ‘me,’ you may give what is really asked.

Even if the other person isn’t consciously aware of it, you can go on with a spontaneous giving-and-taking attitude as if this makes perfect sense.

It does, at a deeper level. You get what you want. Everybody is satisfied. Additionally, you can thank the other person or ask for more.

Giving and taking

What people want most is meaningfulness.

They can only get it from someone like you — even while life goes on and many things happen for the sake of it.