Do Not Follow Your Opponent

February 25, 2025 Cognitive Insights No Comments

One might assume that following an opponent means agreeing with him. But you can also follow someone in opposition — by constantly reacting to him, adjusting to his stance, or defining yourself through resistance rather than through your own vision.

True leadership is about holding your line, leading the conversation rather than being led by it.

The danger of mirror politics

It’s a common trap: when one side gains popularity, the other shifts in response, thinking it must adapt or lose ground. But what happens when you shape your message based on your opponent? You let them define you.

In politics, center parties often drift toward their opponents, hoping to capture their voters. But this rarely works. Instead of neutralizing the far-right, for example, adjusting to its rhetoric only legitimizes its worldview. The opponent’s ideas don’t fade. They become the new norm. Instead of leading, those who follow in this way weaken themselves.

Following isn’t just about agreeing.

However, some think the best way to avoid following is to oppose an opponent at every turn. But this, too, is a trap. If your position is just “whatever they say, I say the opposite,” then your opponent still determines your course. You’re still following—just in reverse.

Socrates mastered the art of not following an opponent. He didn’t reject authority outright, nor did he conform to it. See below.

The subtle trap of accommodation

A common mistake in politics, business, and personal life is believing that adopting aspects of an opponent’s position will neutralize them. The logic seems sound — steal their thunder, absorb their supporters. But this rarely works as intended.

When a party adjusts to the far-right, it doesn’t win over far-right voters. Instead, it normalizes the opponent’s ideas, weakening its own base while making extreme positions seem more mainstream. The same happens in personal conflicts — when you adjust too much to an adversary’s stance, you risk losing yourself.

Instead of adapting out of fear, a stronger approach is to understand without following. Angela Merkel provided a masterclass in this. See below.

Understanding the opponent vs. following him

Not following doesn’t mean refusing to engage. In fact, deep understanding is necessary for real transformation. A good mediator never simply takes sides. Instead, he uncovers the motivations behind a conflict, finding what each side truly needs rather than what they say they want. Daring to be vulnerable is often key. Opponents may attack perceived weakness, but the true strength lies in openness that is not naïve.

When you truly understand your opponent, you gain the ability to redirect the conversation rather than react to it. The far-right claims to defend ‘our values,’ yet in their response, they often erode the very values they claim to protect — openness, respect, and inclusiveness. See below.

The art of holding the center

Strength is often mistaken for rigidity. But real strength, like that of a tree in the wind, is flexible without uprooting itself. Being firm in one’s essence does not mean refusing to adapt. It means adapting without losing one’s core.

AURELIS speaks of this in terms of being strong and gentle at once. Strength without gentleness becomes hard, brittle, and ultimately weak. Gentleness without strength becomes soft, directionless, and easy to push aside. But when the two work together, they create a force that shapes reality rather than being shaped by it.

Socrates — the philosopher who never followed

Socrates never followed his opponents — neither by submission nor by blind opposition. Instead of fighting authority directly, he shifted the entire conversation through deep questioning. His Socratic method forced others to confront their contradictions, not by attacking them, but by leading them to expose their own flawed reasoning.

Even in his trial, he refused to follow. He neither begged for mercy nor incited rebellion. Instead, he remained true to his principles, using his defense as one final lesson in intellectual integrity. Offered a chance to escape execution, he declined, knowing that to flee would be to betray himself.

His legacy teaches us that true strength lies in redefining the terms of the debate. Today, when political arguments become reactionary battles, the Socratic approach offers a way forward: don’t follow your opponent’s framing — transform the discussion itself.

Angela Merkel — leading without following

Angela Merkel mastered the art of not following — neither mimicking her opponents nor reacting emotionally to them. During the 2015 refugee crisis, as far-right movements gained traction, many leaders shifted rightward to accommodate public fears. Merkel did not. Instead, she held her line, famously stating, “Wir schaffen das” (We can do this).

Rather than engaging in direct battles, she used ‘asymmetric demobilization’ — remaining calm and steady, making extreme voices seem exaggerated in contrast. She did not fight populists on their terms; she made them adjust to her. Over time, this strategy helped stabilize German politics while avoiding the far-right’s normalization.

Merkel’s leadership proves that true power lies in steadiness. Instead of reacting impulsively, she shaped the political landscape by being a center of gravity — so firm in her stance that others had to shift around her, not the other way around.

The irony of the far-right: ‘defending values’ while destroying them

The far-right claims to defend ‘our values,’ yet in doing so, it often undermines the very principles it seeks to protect. It speaks of freedom but pushes policies that limit speech, movement, and diversity. It champions national identity, yet its fear-driven isolation weakens cultural confidence rather than strengthening it.

History warns of this self-destruction. Ancient Rome did not fall because of external enemies. It collapsed from within, abandoning its republican ideals in the name of security and control. Similarly, when societies sacrifice openness and tolerance out of fear, they make themselves smaller, weaker, and more fragile.

If you destroy what makes you strong enough to fight a perceived enemy, you have already lost. Real strength is not built on paranoia but on deep confidence in one’s values. Instead of reacting with fear, leadership means standing firm and guiding transformation with depth.

True leadership: setting the course, not following the tides

If you keep looking at your opponents, you will walk their path — even if you think you’re resisting them. The only way to lead is to look forward, not sideways.

Instead of reacting, set the direction. Instead of accommodating, reframe the discussion. Instead of fearing opposition, stand so firmly in depth that others must adjust to you. True leadership is about moving the entire conversation toward something deeper.

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Addendum

Me: “In the blog, the far-right has been taken as an example. Can we point to the far-left as another example of the same mechanism?”

Lisa: “The far-left can fall into the same trap as the far-right, just in a different form. Both extremes claim to defend core values—justice, equality, tradition, freedom—but often end up undermining them through rigidity, intolerance, or authoritarian tendencies.

Just as the far-right claims to protect “freedom” while restricting it, the far-left often claims to fight for inclusivity while silencing dissenting voices. In history, extreme leftist movements have sometimes eroded democracy in the name of equality, suppressing opposition and enforcing ideological purity.

The key mechanism is the same: reacting to an enemy so intensely that one loses sight of the deeper values that should guide action. Instead of true transformation, extreme reactions mirror their opponents, reinforcing division. Real leadership, whether in politics or society, lies not in reaction but in depth—holding the center while shaping real, lasting change.”