Dying a Little Every Day

March 1, 2025 Life Lessons No Comments

(see: Life Lessons: An Introduction)

You finish a conversation and feel something has shifted.
Maybe just slightly. Something said. Something not said. You hang up the phone or walk away, and for a moment, you’re quiet. Not sad, not happy. Just… touched.
You don’t know it yet, but something in you has just let go.
A tiny death.

The endings that don’t announce themselves

Death doesn’t always come loudly.
Sometimes it arrives gently, in the closing of a door you didn’t realize you were holding open.

The moment you stop reaching for a particular outcome. The moment a hope fades without bitterness. The moment you say goodbye to an idea of yourself you no longer need.

These aren’t dramatic. They often pass unnoticed — like leaves falling in a forest where no one is watching.

But they change the landscape all the same.

What dies is not lost

To die a little every day is not to fall apart. It is to allow yourself to be shaped by life’s quiet rhythms — the ebb and flow, the taking and giving, the way things soften with time. You lose a little illusion. A little attachment. A little need to be right. And in that loosening, something else begins to breathe.

There is pain sometimes, yes. Even a small death can hurt.
But often, there is also a strange lightness.

As if you’ve been carrying something that didn’t need carrying.

And now your hands are free.

Nature knows this already

Look at the trees. They shed, they sleep, they awaken. Not with resistance, but with rhythm. The falling is not a failure. It is part of the design.

We, too, are nature — though we often forget. We try to hold on. We tell ourselves that identity must be consistent, that loss is a problem to solve. But sometimes what leaves us… was never really ours to begin with.

And what remains – that quiet presence – may feel more like you than anything you tried to keep.

The spaciousness after

After a small death, something opens. You may not notice it right away. But one day you laugh more easily. You listen without needing to reply. You stand by a window and simply watch the light.

And you wonder: what changed?

Perhaps nothing new arrived.
Perhaps something old simply stepped aside.

These moments aren’t about erasing the past. They are about making space. And in that space, life comes not with force, but with invitation.

The way morning enters a room.
The way breath returns after we stop holding it.

The bigger picture

Yes, one day, the big death will come. But by then, maybe you’ll have practiced a little — not by dying in fear, but by letting go with gentleness.

And maybe it won’t feel like a wall, but a door you’ve already opened, many times.

And now

Right now, something in you is already fading.

Not in a tragic way.
Just naturally.

And something else – perhaps quieter, perhaps deeper – is taking its place. You don’t have to name it.

Just notice, breathe, let it be part of you.

And let yourself be a little less
and somehow
a little more.

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