What Every Pedophile Should Know
Do not condemn yourself for any inclination. I hope you can get beyond whenever appropriate.
‘Pedophilia’ is an inclination. The same term – but a very different thing! – Is also used to denote an acting out of this inclination. If you are a pedophile reading this text, I hope your prime intention is not to really hurt any child. Let’s start from this assumption. In this case…
Please fight with all might the acting out!
However, if you fight your pedophilic feelings, I don’t think that eventually this is successful. More precisely, it will not help if you aggressively fight against your inclination. If you do fight, then it’s much more preferable to fight for a better world where you can live without such feelings and be happy.
Get appropriate help.
Even if eventually you could get beyond your pedophilic inclination on your own, doing so with good guidance may enable you to let it out of your system more profoundly.
Sadly, a lot of offered ‘help’ is not really helpful. You may have experienced this. The one who knows best your pedophilic inclination is you of course. Next time you seek help, try to help your helper in understanding you. This will put the helper in a better position also to help others who are otherwise caught in the same predicament.
If you feel guilt for your pedophilic inclination, this is to be respected. However, a feeling of guilt is not necessary if feel the responsibility to do something about it. Besides, responsibility is a much better vantage point than guilt, from which to work on yourself.
Eventually, a feeling of responsibility is just so much more efficient than a feeling of guilt.
As to the child, you should know what you are doing – which also means being interested to know. You may think that every child that sexually responds to you, therefore has the wish to do so. That is not the case. Human sexuality serves a natural function: to procreate. In the end, nature is oblivious to human desire. This is: a person can react in an automatic way while at the same time not wishing to do so personally. Actually, even your pedophilia can be seen as an example of this. You may at the same time ‘wish and not wish’ to feel this kind of sexuality. So what is that: to ‘wish’?
Most important is the wellbeing of the child.
I hope you – as a total person – do not really want children to grow up harboring inside themselves a deep misery of your making. Eventually, you wish for every child an untainted sexuality, if such a thing is possible. Well, THIS wish of yours, if felt from the deepest of your heart, is what even after the sordid facts could help the child regain hope. You already know that it is difficult to show such a wish in a way that might mend things instead of making things worse. Be careful but also, consider it again and again. You might talk to others about it.
Look inside yourself. If you feel compassion, you are a good person.
As such, take responsibility!
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