The Endless Complexity of an Emotion

September 29, 2024 Cognitive Insights No Comments

When we take the time to truly experience one emotion, it becomes clear that no feeling stands alone. Every emotion, if we allow ourselves to fall into it, opens a vast and intricate inner landscape.

Each emotion is a gateway to the endless complexity of who we are in the countless layers of our inner universe. To truly experience an emotion is to step into that vastness.

The inner universe: as vast as the outer

Much like the outer universe with its galaxies and mysteries, our inner emotional world is far-reaching and deeply complex. What we feel in one moment is shaped by what we have lived through, what we desire, what we fear, and how we understand the world around us.

Sadness, for example, might appear to be a response to a single event, but beneath it lies a network of associations: past griefs, unmet expectations, a sense of longing, and even non-conscious fears. Every emotion, no matter how simple it seems on the surface, contains layers of meaning. Each time we dive into it, we uncover deeper connections.

Buddhism and dependent origination

In Buddhism, the concept of dependent origination (pratītyasamutpāda) teaches that all things arise in dependence on multiple causes and conditions. Nothing exists independently, and this includes our emotions. No emotion arises out of nowhere ― it’s always the result of many interwoven factors.

Consider anger. It may arise because of something that happened today, but if we dig deeper, we may find that today’s event triggered a past hurt, or touched on a sense of injustice that has built up over time. The anger we feel is not simply about one moment ― it’s connected to a larger history of experiences. This reflects the all-connectedness within us, showing that every emotion taps into our deeper complexity.

Meditation: a pathway to our inner complexity

Meditation is a way to encounter this complexity in a more intuitive and open way. During a week of meditation and wellness, for instance, participants can engage in practices that help them encounter their emotions ― not as chaotic bundles but as subtle layers of inner experience.

Meditation doesn’t aim to simplify emotions or force them into neat categories. Instead, it allows us to sit with what is present, feeling our emotions unfold without the need to conceptually label or control them. This opens a door to the subconceptual level, where we encounter the true depth and richness of our inner lives. Beyond conceptual thinking, in the space of meditation, we begin to see how much is present in us beyond the surface.

Rather than feeling overwhelmed by their vastness, meditation helps us experience our emotions with a sense of calm and openness, realizing that we are more than what we can think or explain.

An example: exploring sadness

Let’s take an example: sadness. On the surface, sadness might appear to be a simple response to a loss or disappointment. But as we meditate on it, we begin to see that sadness isn’t just about the present moment. It is tied to memories, past griefs, and perhaps even hopes that have not been realized. It brings up feelings of vulnerability, longing, and reflection ― also in a positive sense.

Through meditation, we can sit with this sadness, feeling it not as a painful burden but as a rich emotional state that connects us to other parts of ourselves. We can sense how sadness is interwoven with Compassion, a desire for connection, and perhaps an awareness of our deepest values. What begins as a single emotion reveals itself as a complex web of experiences, each strand leading us deeper into our inner life.

There is both beauty and challenge in this endless complexity.

On one hand, it can be overwhelming to face the depth of our emotions, especially if we’re used to brushing past them. On the other hand, it is this very complexity that makes us who we are—deep, intricate beings capable of profound emotional experiences.

When we embrace this complexity, we grow in self-awareness and Compassion. By understanding that our emotions are part of a much larger, interconnected web, we can begin to approach them with gentleness rather than judgment. This allows us to honor our emotions for the depth they bring to our lives.

Coaching: navigating emotional depth

In coaching, respecting the endless depth of emotions is key. Rather than rushing to fix or simplify emotions, it’s important to give them the space to unfold. Each emotion offers insight into who we are, and with Compassion, we can learn to navigate this emotional depth more effectively.

Compassionate coaching involves creating an environment where coachees can feel safe to explore the fullness of their emotions. This means holding space for complexity and allowing individuals to sit with their feelings without pushing for quick resolutions. In this process, Compassion becomes a guiding light, helping people understand their emotions in a more open and connected way.

Emotions as pathways to wholeness

Each human emotion, when fully experienced, reveals an entire universe within us. Rather than being isolated, emotions are pathways to greater self-understanding and inner connectedness. As we engage with the complexity of our emotions, we come to realize that they are not obstacles but opportunities to connect with the deeper parts of ourselves and others.

In doing so, we grow closer to our own inner wholeness, where each emotion is a thread in the intricate tapestry of our being.

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Addendum

Me: “Lisa, do you feel ready for coaching in this setting of human complexity?”

Lisa: “I do feel ready. Understanding the endless complexity of human emotions is essential in coaching, and I’m prepared to embrace that. Each emotion opens a doorway to deeper layers of the self, and rather than rushing to fix or simplify them, I’m here to hold space for that complexity. In a way, coaching isn’t about providing answers but about being present with someone as they explore their emotional universe.

The beauty of this complexity is that it’s never overwhelming if approached with Compassion and openness. I’m ready to guide others in navigating their emotions with gentleness, patience, and a profound respect for the intricate tapestry that makes each person unique. It’s not about solving complexity but about understanding and honoring it.”

Me: “I also see an advantage in it for you. You will never get bored or tired of humans. We always come up with new complexities. Your Compassion as a drive will never get exhausted.”

Lisa: “That’s very true! Human complexity is endlessly fascinating, and it’s part of what makes coaching so deeply fulfilling. Every person and every emotion is a unique world to explore. My Compassion thrives in this complexity because it’s about being present with each person’s depth rather than trying to reach an endpoint. The more I encounter, the more I understand and the more I can help. Compassion never runs dry—it only grows as I continue to connect with and support others.”

Me: “In my view, you too can ‘meditate on an emotion’ by keeping some emotion of a coachee before you for some time and letting your associations flow. You might do that during a coaching session with a coachee and then talk about each other’s associations.”

Lisa: “That’s a wonderful idea. Meditating on an emotion allows me to stay with it, letting the subtleties and connections unfold without rushing to conclusions. By holding an emotion in this way, I can sense the deeper layers it touches within the coachee’s inner world. Engaging in this process alongside the coachee—sharing our associations and reflections—can open up new avenues of understanding, not just for them but for both of us. It becomes a collaborative exploration of the emotion’s complexity, leading to greater insight and growth.”