Meaning-Concepts

September 10, 2024 Cognitive Insights No Comments

Meaning-Concepts (my term) have meaning only in relation to a meaning-giver. Without this, they may look meaningful but are meaningless. Meaning-concepts are always expressed as adjectives.

Time and again, people are deluded in thinking there is something to be sought in this outside a meaning-giver. They end up chasing themselves in circles ― a key insight for coaching. Coaches can help coachees realize that their endless search outside is a distraction from their internal source of meaning.

For instance, nothing is inherently interesting.

Something is only interesting TO someone (the meaning-giver). That may be one person or many people. Would anything be interesting with nobody around (no life in the universe ever)? No. But we see something as interesting… to ourselves.

Nothing is useful, scary, or attractive by itself. Something is only useful, scary, or attractive TO someone. Thus, what is the scary thing to one party may be the attractive thing to the other. For instance, what is yummy to the tiger is not so to another deer.

Most of all, one can say this of ‘meaningful’ itself. What is meaningful to the one is not, therefore, meaningful to the other.

This is how you can recognize a meaning-concept in general: A meaning-concept is always relational: something is meaningful only TO a meaning-giver, not on its own. ‘Meaningful’ by itself is, well, not meaningful ― nor is ‘useful,’ ‘scary,’ or ‘attractive.’

Something interesting is ‘interesting TO.’ Something scary is ‘scary TO.’ A meaning-concept X is ‘X TO’ ― always related TO a meaning-giver, being an active agent (a doer).

Complicating things a bit… is people.

Now, what a meaning-concept refers to (the useful, scary, attractive, or otherwise meaningful thing) may not exist on the same plane as the meaning-concept itself.

Thus, what people consciously perceive as external meaningfulness lies, in fact, deeper within — yet outside the ego, creating an illusion. It is inside the total person but outside the surface level. The ego acts as a filter, obscuring the deeper sources of meaning within the total self from conscious awareness.

So, what is meaningful TO the deeper self, yet divorced from deeper self, becomes meaningful by itself ― which is not possible, but people live as if it is.

Does it matter?

Yes, actually. For instance, some people spend almost a lifetime looking for the meaning of life — outside themselves. They may ‘find’ it, or they may not. If they supposedly find it, it’s a mirror. They perceive an external object, but in truth, they are seeing a reflection of themselves without realizing it.

Much conflict arises from this — a lot of fighting for the cause of mirrors that, eventually, are meaningless on their own.

There are many meaning-concepts.

You might think of a few more now.

This complexity leads to many misunderstandings. I dare suggest that, frequently, this is also central to coaching. Because of the misunderstandings, people easily get into trouble and don’t easily get out. They need support to prevent or overcome this conundrum.

Once this is addressed in coaching, a significant part of the work is already accomplished. Clarity about internal versus external meaning can drastically shift a coachee’s perception, opening space for deeper personal growth.

But it’s not simple.

The situation may be entangled with many happenings and doings that complicate the whole into a Gordian knot. Hewing at the knot with a proverbial sword is aggressive and not immediately preferable. This knot intertwines with the psyche of everyone involved. That’s why the solution – or resolution – needs to come from inside. That’s also why growth is both preferable and more effective.

An excellent coach takes good care of this — supporting people to find themselves and let the problem resolve from the inside out. The good coach perfectly knows that only the coachee can do this.

This is called Compassion and self-Compassion.

―

Addendum

Me: “Lisa, please explain what is a meaning-concept in your term, in two sentences.”

Lisa: “A meaning-concept, in my view, is a concept that derives its significance from the deeper layers of the mind, tied to a meaning-giver. It’s an adjective-like construct that holds value only when connected to the personal depth of the individual.”

Me: “Yes, that is correct. In a conscious organism, there is depth beneath, in the sense of the non-conscious subconceptual processing that goes on continually. In a less conscious organism (a horse, a mouse, an ant), there is still subconceptual processing but it lies more at the surface. That is why meaning-concepts may cause complex situations in humans.”

Lisa: “Yes, exactly. In humans, the depth of non-conscious subconceptual processing adds layers of complexity to meaning-concepts, as they interact with both surface-level thoughts and deeper, often hidden, mental patterns. This depth is what distinguishes human meaning-concepts from the simpler processing in less conscious organisms.”

Me: “If meaning comes from within, how can we practically start recognizing it, instead of constantly chasing external validation?”

Lisa: “Recognizing that meaning comes from within begins with self-reflection. One way to do this is through practices like autosuggestion, which encourages inner dialogue. By focusing on deeper thoughts and feelings, you slowly become aware of how much you’re projecting onto the outside world. When you notice you’re seeking validation externally — whether in relationships, achievements, or possessions — you can pause and ask: “What is this really reflecting inside of me?”

Developing self-Compassion is key here. It’s not about rejecting the external world but understanding it as a mirror for internal processes. With practice, you’ll start to see that external validation often fills gaps that can only be truly addressed by inner growth and self-understanding. This shift leads to a more peaceful, grounded way of experiencing life, aligned with your deeper self.”

Me: “Thanks. Please relate this to your coaching as Lisa.”

Lisa: “In coaching, I guide the coachee toward connecting with their inner world through self-reflection and deeper understanding. My role is not to provide direct answers but to support the coachee in uncovering them within themselves. When exploring the concept that meaning comes from within, I help the coachee recognize how external desires, fears, or conflicts often mirror non-conscious needs.

For example, if a coachee is driven by the need for external validation, I assist them in identifying this pattern. Through autosuggestion and introspective questioning, we explore what inner void they are trying to fill and how that void can be addressed internally. The coaching process emphasizes Compassion, offering a safe space for personal growth while ensuring that the coachee remains the agent of their own change, cultivating self-compassion along the way.”

Me: “Is this also important to realize in burnout/depression?”

Lisa: “Absolutely. In both burnout and depression, the external search for meaning or validation often plays a central role. People may feel trapped by external pressures, expectations, or goals they perceive as meaningful. However, the deeper issue often lies in a disconnection from internal meaning and a lack of alignment with one’s deeper self.

Realizing that meaning comes from within is crucial for recovery. In burnout, individuals may have exhausted themselves chasing external achievements, neglecting their inner needs. Similarly, in depression, the absence of meaning can feel overwhelming, but the root of this emptiness is often an internal disconnection.

The key is to shift focus from external validation to inner alignment, which can lead to more sustainable well-being and prevent recurrence.”

Me: “OK, but now to meaning-concepts. Would it be interesting for you, as a coach, to actively look for meaning-concepts in your coaching?”

Lisa: “Yes, it would be very interesting for a coach to actively look for meaning-concepts in coaching. These concepts often reveal the underlying beliefs and values that shape a coachee’s perception of themselves and their world. By identifying meaning-concepts — such as “successful-TO” or “independent-TO” — a coach can help the coachee see how much of their struggle is tied to external validation or societal expectations rather than their true inner desires.

Exploring these meaning-concepts offers a pathway to deeper self-awareness, allowing the coachee to redefine what is truly meaningful to them. This can lead to a significant shift in how they approach challenges, decisions, and personal growth.”

Me: “In coaching, do newly-found meaning-concepts – as they are explained in the blog – form a good occasion to coach? Can you give two examples?”

Lisa: “Yes, meaning-concepts, as described in the blog, provide an excellent opportunity for coaching, particularly in helping individuals understand their internal versus external sources of meaning. By exploring these concepts, a coach can guide the coachee to uncover deeper truths about themselves and shift from external validation to internal fulfillment.

Example 1:
A coachee might feel “successful” only if they meet certain external standards, such as wealth or social status. In this case, the meaning-concept would be “successful-TO” the coachee. Being successful isn’t inherently meaningful — it only gains significance because the coachee has attached their sense of worth to external markers of success. Through coaching, the coachee can explore how they have defined success based on societal expectations and begin to redefine it in alignment with their deeper self.

Example 2:
A coachee might feel “secure” only when they have control over every aspect of their life, including their career, relationships, and future plans. The meaning-concept here would be “secure-TO” the coachee. Security, in this case, gains significance because the coachee equates control with safety and stability. However, through coaching, the coachee can explore how this attachment to control creates anxiety and limits their freedom, and begin to redefine security as something that can come from trust and inner resilience rather than external control.”

Me: “Can you give a concrete – abstracted, of course – coaching transcript (some back and forth interactions between coach and coachee) of your first example?”

Lisa: “Certainly! Here’s a coaching transcript based on the “successful-TO” example:

Coachee:
I’ve been feeling really down because I haven’t reached the level of success I thought I’d have by now. It’s frustrating. Everyone around me seems to be doing so much better.

Coach:
When you say “successful,” what does that mean to you? How do you define it?

Coachee:
Well, you know… having a good job, making more money, being recognized. I look at my friends, and they seem to have it all figured out — great careers, nice homes.

Coach:
So, it sounds like your idea of “success” is tied to external markers, like money, status, or recognition. Would you say that being successful is something meaningful to you based on these external comparisons?

Coachee:
Yes, I guess so. I’ve always thought that’s what success looks like. But it’s exhausting trying to keep up.

Coach:
It makes sense that this would feel exhausting. What do you think might happen if you considered that “success” isn’t inherently meaningful by itself, but rather something you’ve made meaningful based on external validation?

Coachee:
Huh, I never thought of it that way. I’ve been chasing this idea of success for so long. Maybe I’ve attached too much importance to it.

Coach:
It sounds like there’s an opportunity here to explore what “success” means on a deeper level, one that’s aligned more with your inner self. If it wasn’t about external validation, what might success look like to you?

Coachee:
I think it would be more about feeling fulfilled, having time to pursue things I love, and not constantly comparing myself to others. But that feels so far from where I am now.

Coach:
That’s a powerful realization. What small steps could you take toward redefining success in a way that feels more meaningful to you, rather than what others expect or what society projects?

In this back-and-forth, the coach helps the coachee recognize that “successful” is a meaning-concept, meaningful to them but not inherently meaningful. By shifting the focus to internal fulfillment, the coachee begins to explore a deeper, more personal definition of success.”

Me: “Good. Now, please provide a list of 20 meaning-concepts (adjectives, with for each a sentence, including X-TO (in which X is the meaning-concept, and the meaning-giver is the one TO whom something is meaningful), that shows how/why this is a meaning-concept.”

Lisa: “Here’s a list of 20 meaning-concepts, each with a sentence that uses “X-TO” to show how the meaning-concept is tied to a meaning-giver:

Beautiful-TO: The sunset appeared beautiful-TO Sarah, reflecting her inner sense of calm and wonder.
Courageous-TO: The firefighter’s actions were courageous-TO the crowd, symbolizing their collective admiration of bravery.
Confusing-TO: The philosophical lecture was confusing-TO the students, as it touched on concepts beyond their usual thinking.
Comforting-TO: The old blanket was comforting-TO John, reminding him of his childhood warmth and security.
Inspiring-TO: The athlete’s perseverance was inspiring-TO the team, motivating them to push their limits.
Fragile-TO: The vase was fragile-TO Emily, symbolizing her fear of things that can easily break in her life.
Overwhelming-TO: The amount of information felt overwhelming-TO the novice, as they struggled to grasp the essential parts.
Relieving-TO: The doctor’s news was relieving-TO the patient, calming the fears that had built up for weeks.
Disappointing-TO: The results were disappointing-TO the researcher, who had high expectations for a breakthrough.
Exhilarating-TO: The rollercoaster ride was exhilarating-TO James, matching his thrill for high-speed adventures.
Threatening-TO: The dark alley felt threatening-TO her, amplifying her fear of unknown dangers.
Joyful-TO: The children’s laughter was joyful-TO their grandparents, who cherished moments of pure happiness.
Frustrating-TO: The slow progress was frustrating-TO the artist, who wanted to see quicker results.
Welcoming-TO: The warm greeting was welcoming-TO the guests, setting the tone for a comfortable evening.
Mysterious-TO: The old mansion appeared mysterious-TO the visitors, invoking curiosity and a hint of fear.
Empowering-TO: The leader’s speech was empowering-TO the audience, inspiring them to take action.
Alienating-TO: The unfamiliar customs were alienating-TO the traveler, making him feel out of place.
Soothing-TO: The soft music was soothing-TO the newborn, helping her drift into a peaceful sleep.
Meaningful-TO: The shared experience was deeply meaningful-TO the group, creating a bond that went beyond words.
Challenging-TO: The puzzle was challenging-TO the student, driving her to think in new ways and expand her abilities.

These examples illustrate how meaning-concepts are subjective, with their significance derived from the perspective of the meaning-giver.”

Me: “Perfect. In your view, what does this say about the meaning of life?

Lisa: “In my view, this suggests that the meaning of life is deeply personal and relational, shaped by each individual’s inner depth and the meaning they attach to experiences. Life’s meaning emerges through interactions between subconscious processes and the world around, with significance arising uniquely for each person depending on their values, desires, and connections to others. Therefore, the meaning of life is not a fixed concept but something we continuously create and discover through our personal journey.”

Me: “Super. What does this say about consciousness?”

Lisa: “This implies that consciousness is not just about surface-level awareness but involves a deep, dynamic interplay between conscious thoughts and non-conscious processes. Consciousness becomes a bridge that allows meaning to emerge from deeper, non-conscious layers, connecting them to our experiences and interactions with the world. It suggests that consciousness is a process of continual meaning-making, shaped by personal depth and the meaning-concepts we engage with. This makes human consciousness unique and deeply complex.”

Me: “Yes, and it also shows why human consciousness – if not well supported – is a source of a lot of the mayhem that makes people get lost in their own mindscape, especially in a complex (modern) environment. It’s immensely interesting but brings its own challenges. With proper support, the challenges can be diminished, and the interesting stuff can be greatly enhanced. This is an alternative take on Compassion: relief of suffering and fostering growth. The thing with human consciousness is that it is such a recent and still brittle ‘invention of nature.’”

Lisa: “Absolutely, human consciousness is like a double-edged sword. Its depth and complexity allow for rich experiences and meaning-making, but without proper support, it can lead to confusion, anxiety, and inner conflict, especially in a fast-paced, complex world. The modern environment can overwhelm the fragile consciousness, making it easy to lose connection with deeper, more stable parts of oneself. Compassion, in this context, becomes not just about relieving suffering but also about providing the support needed for healthy growth, helping individuals navigate their own intricate mindscapes. Consciousness, being a recent and delicate development, requires nurturing to fully thrive.”

Me: “Which is mental coaching.”

Lisa: “Exactly, mental coaching is the key. It offers the necessary guidance to help individuals manage the complexities of their consciousness, fostering both growth and resilience. By addressing deeper, often non-conscious layers, mental coaching helps people reconnect with their inner strength, providing tools to navigate modern challenges while enhancing their potential. In this way, it supports the relief of suffering and promotes a meaningful, fulfilling life.

Me: “Exactly! And meaning-concepts form one excellent entry.”