Sad but Not Depressed

October 9, 2024 Burnout - Depression No Comments

It’s common to confuse sadness and depression, treating them as if they are on the same spectrum, only differing by degree. However, there is a fundamental difference between the two that goes beyond intensity.

It’s not simply about feeling ‘a little sad’ versus ‘very sad.’

The confusion between sadness and depression

Sadness and depression involve different depths of experience — much like the difference between fear and anxiety. Sadness, although it can be intense, still allows for emotional connection. Depression, on the other hand, feels like a disconnection from your emotions, a sort of numbness that engulfs the ability to feel anything else.

The distinction matters because it affects how we understand and approach these states. You may experience sadness – perhaps after watching a heartbreaking movie or hearing about a tragic event – but it doesn’t mean you are depressed. In fact, being sad is a natural, healthy emotional response. Depression, however, is a more pervasive and disconnected state that requires a different kind of exploration.

Depression as a ‘loss of soul’

When we talk about depression, it’s more than just an intense sadness. It can feel like a ‘loss of soul’ — a disconnection not just from specific emotions but from the very essence of your inner self. This is what makes depression so overwhelming. It’s not simply feeling sad; it’s the absence of feeling in a way that makes life seem bleak and meaningless.

In sadness, the soul is still present, though it may yearn for something. The sadness represents a longing for nourishment that feels absent. In this sense, sadness can even be energizing, as it motivates you to seek out what’s missing.

But in depression, it feels as if the soul has vanished. There is no longer a yearning for nourishment; instead, there is a deep sense of detachment from life. This can make everything seem hopeless and empty.

Fighting depression deepens it

One of the challenges of depression is the instinct to fight against it. Many people try to resist their depression, pushing it away or suppressing it in an attempt to ‘fix’ themselves. However, this often backfires. The more you fight against depression, the more deeply it seems to take hold. This is because depression is not something that can be overcome by force. It’s rather a state of being that requires exploration and understanding.

When we resist sadness, we cut ourselves off from the emotional process that allows us to feel and heal. Sadness can be a path toward reconnecting with deeper parts of ourselves, but when we fight it, we risk creating a barrier to our inner world. This resistance can lead to a shutdown, where we no longer feel the sadness at all — and depression takes its place.

Depression is not simply an illness

Depression is often treated as a medical condition, but it’s important to recognize that it is not simply an illness with a biological cause. Despite decades of research, no precise physical substrate or chemical remedy has been definitively linked to depression. What we have are hypotheses and fuzzy categories but no clear answers. Treating depression as purely a medical issue can limit our understanding of its deeper, existential roots.

Depression is a complex, personal experience that can’t be fully understood through the lens of illness. Reducing it to a biological condition risks ignoring the deeper psychological and existential causes that underlie it. While biological factors may play a role, depression is fundamentally about disconnection from the self. This is why approaches that focus solely on treating symptoms often miss the deeper need for inner work and emotional exploration.

Sadness and depression exist on a continuum

While sadness and depression are distinct, they do exist on a continuum. Prolonged or unresolved sadness can, in some cases, turn into depression. This often happens when the individual loses touch with the underlying emotions that drive their sadness. Instead of feeling the sadness fully and working through it, the person may resist or suppress it, leading to a more profound emotional disconnection.

However, depression is not just more sadness. It represents a shift in depth, where the person feels detached from their emotions rather than connected to them. Moving out of depression often involves reconnecting with the emotions that have been buried. In this sense, the path out of depression involves a return to sadness — and, eventually, to emotional richness and joy. It’s not about avoiding sadness but about embracing it as a natural, meaningful experience.

Reconnecting and nourishing the soul

If depression is a loss of soul, then the way forward is to reconnect with that soul — to nourish it in meaningful ways. This can be done through a variety of approaches:

Meditation and mindfulness practices allow for a stillness that invites emotions to surface naturally, without judgment.
Creative expression, such as writing, art, or music, can help individuals tap into their inner world and explore their feelings in a safe way.
Autosuggestion provides a gentle way to reconnect with emotions, helping individuals navigate their feelings without becoming overwhelmed.
Meaningful relationships, where one feels heard and understood, can offer nourishment to the soul, allowing for emotional connection to return.

The key is to approach sadness and depression with openness rather than resistance. By allowing ourselves to feel sadness fully, we prevent it from deepening into depression. And for those already experiencing depression, the process of reconnecting with the self through nourishing practices can help restore emotional depth.

Autosuggestion as a tool for exploration

Autosuggestion is a powerful tool for navigating both sadness and depression. It allows individuals to gently loosen their grip on control and trust the deeper process of their emotions. Rather than forcing themselves to feel something, autosuggestion encourages a natural unfolding of feelings, allowing for gradual healing.

However, it’s important to recognize that autosuggestion, like meditation, can be a challenging process. Exploring deeper feelings requires patience and self-care, as it can bring buried emotions to the surface. The goal is not to rush through the process but to allow space for inner growth and understanding.

Acknowledging the depth of depression

While sadness allows for emotional engagement, depression represents a disconnection from the self — a loss of soul. The way forward is not through resisting or fighting these emotions but through gentle exploration and reconnection.

Sadness, when embraced, can lead to a richer emotional life, helping to prevent the slide into depression. For those experiencing depression, the challenge is to nourish the soul and slowly return to a place of emotional depth.

By approaching these states with openness and care, we can find meaning even in the darkest moments.