A major misunderstanding that must be put to bed in the (Western) world: ‘detachment’ is NOT the having of control over one’s feelings and emotions, nor is it the loss or not having of feelings and emotions.
“The detachment of a stone is not that of a human.”
Having the ability to show some detachment now and then is a good virtue.
‘Detachment’ IS, quite simply, the opposite of ‘attachment.’
Attachment is done with glue.
You attach yourself to something, e.g., to your emotional reactions. You end up in a trigger situation, and before you know it: pats, it comes up again. You don’t want it, however. You imagine it won’t happen again next time… and then again: pats. That anger. That fear. That frustration or those feelings of upheaval.
How the hell do you put an end to that?
Answer to this question: not.
Or what did you think? Feelings/emotions are determined by your deeper self. You can temporarily suppress them in some cases, but don’t think that you can achieve the desired result in the long term.
Autosuggestion is also welcome here. As always, don’t force the goal. You need to invite.
The world of meditation
Here too, detachment is often spoken of and not always in a sense as just discussed. Meditation, used in an attempt to gain dualistic ego control: a total contradiction, yet one encounters it, sometimes with bad consequences.
“Equanimity is the most beautiful home for all human feelings.”
You can be detached from all kinds of things (possession, status), but in any beautiful case, it comes down to a detachment of rather superficial feelings and thoughts so that other (‘deeper’) feelings and thoughts get more opportunities. I see in this the only real reason to attach any value to detachment.