From Grief to Growth

March 31, 2018 Health & Healing, Mental Growth No Comments

There can be positive elements in grief – if you open yourself.

The death of a person – the death of an idea – the death of a relationship – even the death of a hoped-for electoral outcome… One should not get rid of grief or bypass it.

Yet what regularly happens, is that a person gets really stuck in grief. Then it lasts long, is extraordinarily painful and doesn’t help. It’s just… grief… like a feeling of depression that got out of hand.

‘Getting stuck in grief’ can take on several guises.

The common factor of such ‘getting stuck’ is that life doesn’t continue as it should. A person gets stuck in a mind frame that after a while, he will not recognize as meaningful.

It’s as if he loses a part of himself.

That is precisely the loss that truly hurts. It’s about losing a very important part of yourself.

A symbolic part. Not just a finger or a toe, but a part of what might in certain setting be called the ‘soul’.

What died outside you is a symbol of what died inside you.

Well – a symbol doesn’t really die. What happens is: it draws you towards it, in an attempt so to speak, to become fully alive again.

Alive within you.

Grief may make you feel fractured, having lost a substantial part. The underlying goal of this happening is for you to become whole again. The feeling of grief is the result of a forceful drawing within you toward that goal – like posttraumatic stress. You are being drawn towards wholeness, but if you get stuck, you risk being drawn further into pieces – quite powerfully.

From grief to growth: what should you do?

It’s a good idea to mentally go back to the time before your grief began.

You can do this in imagination, for instance, using an AURELIS guided meditation. Start the process again and try this time to get above the happening. Of course, not by fighting it but by giving it your deep attention. Try to remain yourself as a whole person. Don’t let a part of you get lost. Don’t lose yourself. The purpose of growth is to become whole and to become stronger – as a whole person.

The purpose of grief, if you don’t get stuck in it as just described, is the same, eventually:

to become whole and to become stronger – as a whole person.

Without this inner strength, you become weak. Becoming weak, you may develop a hard shell to protect yourself. Protecting yourself, you become even weaker inside and at the same time, you become a prisoner of your own shell. This way, the world doesn’t become better and neither do you.

It’s better to be gentle, not weak.

It’s better to be strong, not hard.

[see: “Weak, Hard, Strong, Gentle”]

It’s better to become whole again, not fractured by grief.

As a whole person, your grief itself may then become fuel for further growth. This is the way of nature.

Leave a Reply

Related Posts

If it works, then it’s OKAY?

This is definitely not sufficient. You need to know what works and towards what. Nothing works without a ‘towards what’ For instance, a hammer doesn’t work unless you use it towards some purpose. If you use it as a paperweight, then that’s the purpose, towards which the hammer probably works. Without a ‘towards what’, the Read the full article…

Studies Show: Placebo as Effective as Treatment

The conclusion of a meta-study by Howick et al.: “Placebos and treatments often have similar effect sizes. Placebos with comparably powerful effects can benefit patients either alone or as part of a therapeutic regimen” [1] The differences In this meta-analysis involving 12.576 subjects, differences were measured between placebo (versus no-treatment) and active treatment (versus placebo) Read the full article…

About < Placebo> In-Depth

In-depth, placebo shows a direction to explore with different means and towards greater humanity. [see: My favorite video about placebo on YouTube.] The term ‘placebo’ More interesting than bickering about terms is a clarification of concepts. This also makes one think more deeply about what is significant enough to warrant different concepts. [see: “Placebo: I Read the full article…

Translate »