Problem -> Goal -> Cause -> Being There

August 1, 2021 AURELIS Coaching, AURELIS Syllabus No Comments

Not all simple things are interesting, but all interesting things are easy to express in words.

Such as:

              • What’s the problem? -> What’s the goal?             

              • What is the deeper purpose?             

              • What is the cause of this deeper purpose? Why do you want that?             

              • Be there.             

In the case of superficial goals, it is not so interesting to look for causes. If it’s about deeper goals, it is interesting, of course, without necessarily wanting to frame those causes.

Those causes are the source of the goals that are transformed into problems if they cannot flow spontaneously. It is then essential to go to that source. It is then important to stand at that source, to ‘be there.’

This is the source of your deeper and deepest motivations.

This is also the case with a psychosomatic ‘problem.’ There is a ‘goal’ also in this. This goal is not always easy and often impossible to express in words at all.

It certainly cannot be found in an easy list. However, it is also interesting to take this into account.

As a coach, it’s best to just be open.

If something happens, you point this out to the coachee if he is ready for it.  Anyway.  Coaching.

‘Being there’ is less evident in all this.

For example, you are overweight.

              • Problem = overeating.             

              • Goal = eating less.             

              • Deeper goal = getting slim from within, without having to fight against yourself.             

              • Cause of this deeper goal: you are who you are. Whether you consciously know it or not, you are a valuable being.             

              • ‘Being there’ is appreciating this insight, inviting it to yourself, ‘letting it be,’ letting it determine you.             

If a coachee has a hard time with this (which is often the case), it is undoubtedly important for the coach to guide in this.

The example above is about self-esteem.

If you look closely,

you may often see in the problem a reflection of what is happening at the source on a deeper level. As if mind-body wants to show in a little stage play what it’s really about. For example, someone feels inferior ‘because of’ an obese body. A feeling of inferiority also lies at the source. It is there that it needs to be resolved.

Then look at the source

and you will see a great desire for dignity.

You can now let the coachee enjoy this desire.

You can now let the coachee enjoy his dignity.

You can ‘be there,’  together with the coachee

and, if all is very well, you may laugh together with the hassle.

Leave a Reply

Related Posts

Towards AURELIS Coaching

This is a direction, not an end-point, nor any point somewhere nearby.  It is a road to be traveled on while enjoying the landscape. No therapy In AURELIS, there is no attacking of any disease, nor symptom, be it mental or physical. The AURELIS aim is, where appropriate, to go deeper than the outer symptom Read the full article…

Dynamics of Attention

►►► AURELIS Coaching for Coaches (read this first) An AURELIS coach is not a saint and realizes this. it is not possible to always listen in full, deep attention to what the coachee is saying. Nor is it necessary. It is even questionable whether it is desirable. The coachee might feel enclosed, threatened even by Read the full article…

Never Give Advice (in Coaching)

Advice is stronger than suggestion. It tells someone what to do, whereby the other person feels obliged to follow the advice. Never say ‘never.’ OK, almost never. In this text, as in several others on this blog, ‘coach’ is mostly shorthand for AURELIS-coach. There is a clear difference. Advice precludes the from-inside-out. Thus, it stands Read the full article…

Translate »