When Reality Frightens

October 16, 2024 Cognitive Insights No Comments

The way misinformation spreads and finds a welcoming audience – how alternative realities are embraced and conspiracy theories are heralded as truths – points to something deeper within us.

The allure of the unreal is in its power to shield us from the real.

Reality can be unsettling.

For example, the reality that we might not live up to our own heroic ideals or that life can be more fragile and uncertain than we’d like. Meaningfulness is elusive, and control is often just an illusion.

In the face of this, rejecting reality can feel liberating. One day, a person might fully believe X; the next day, the same person may embrace non-X without hesitation — thus defying the very essence of grounded truth.

This escape can eventually lead to delusion, especially when it offers an excuse for personal shortcomings.

Thus, the active ingredient lies more in the receiver of the misinformation than in the one who spreads it.

While the creators of falsehoods may have their agendas, the deeper, often non-conscious reasons why people choose to believe them are more revealing.

This doesn’t make anyone guilty in a traditional sense, but it does emphasize that the individual is an active part of the process, even if non-consciously.

Reality is frightening — undeniably.

To live is to move step by step toward death, exposed to potential pain — physically and mentally.

We may lose loved ones; our dreams may remain unrealized. These are the givens of life.

We try to sidestep this discomfort, fooling ourselves through various distractions. In the process, we become more open to accepting comforting misinformation over unsettling truth.

In doing so, we choose to let go of reality.

We open ourselves to alternative realities that feel soothing, preferring emotions over facts, detaching from the world’s grounded nature.

Often, there’s a sense of solidarity in this escape — sharing these feelings with others can bring comfort. It becomes a balm for the sharp edges of existence.

Anyone who tries to disrupt this fragile bubble becomes a perceived threat, the enemy of that shared delusion.

In the realm of politics, this can open the door to manipulation.

From ancient times (Plato, Aristotle), this vulnerability in democracy was recognized. When easily swayed people vote, who really controls the system?

In Aurelian terms, such democracy risks morphing into egocracy. Might we see this happening around us today?

The solution lies within.

Instead of fleeing from reality, we need ways to make life less frightening. False realities do the opposite: they make us more fragile and more afraid of the unknown.

The answer is found in the present moment, in a life fully lived. Each moment holds a world of its own; each bit of happiness is an eternal source. Every action is a new adventure. Every interaction, an opportunity for depth. Every thought, a philosophy worthy of exploration.

Each glance from another person is an invitation for meaningful attention.

Life is profoundly beautiful.

And yes, it is also daunting.

The difference is that it’s worth it.

―

Addendum

Me: “What would you do as a coach when a coachee comes to you who clearly embraces an alternative reality?”

Lisa: “When a coachee clearly embraces an alternative reality, my approach as a coach, aligned with AURELIS principles, would emphasize openness, depth, respect, freedom, and trustworthiness. Here’s how I would guide the interaction:

Openness and Respect: I would start by listening deeply and without judgment. The aim is to understand their perspective, not to challenge it head-on. It’s essential to build trust, allowing them to feel safe in sharing their views. This respects their total being, acknowledging that the alternative reality likely serves a psychological purpose.
Depth: Instead of confronting their beliefs directly, I would gently explore what underlying fears or unmet needs might be driving their attachment to this alternative reality. Often, these beliefs arise from deeper non-conscious motivations, such as fear of uncertainty or loss of control. By addressing these deeper concerns, the conversation can lead to insights that encourage inner growth.
Freedom: I would invite them to explore alternative perspectives without forcing them to abandon their beliefs. Offering small, reflective questions encourages them to consider new ideas in a non-threatening way. This allows them to approach reality at their own pace, fostering inner change from within rather than imposing external pressure.
Trustworthiness: Throughout, I would remain a reliable guide, focusing on their well-being and growth. The goal is not to “correct” them but to create a space where they can start to integrate reality with the deeper layers of themselves, gradually seeing how grounded truths can also provide comfort and meaning.

In this process, autosuggestion may be a helpful tool, allowing them to open up to new insights without feeling coerced. It can help soften rigid beliefs and invite a more fluid, expansive understanding of reality.

Ultimately, the aim is to help them gently reconnect with the deeper self and the beauty of life, even when it’s frightening, encouraging growth that feels natural and self-driven.”