It’s all about ‘I’ in the public-speaking brain, very importantly: the complete brain. And then it’s also all about caring.
Existential at the start: It’s all about ‘I’
then expanding the ‘I’ to incorporate ‘them’. This is not abandoning ‘I’. It’s a process of growing of you-as-speaker. While ‘ego’ remains humble; total ‘you’ becomes fascinating.
Find yourself fascinating: You stand as an ‘I’
You are who you are. It’s your existence. In the brain, one can see this as the brainstem/hypothalamus/thalamus which keep pushing the individual to just exist.
As a speaker, you exist-as-speaker. If you’re on stage, then you exist on stage. You show you. People come to see you. It’s invigorating to others to see you as being you. So it’s also in their advantage. They learn from you to be-me.
Make your message also individual
differentiated from the rest. Note that this happens spontaneously if you are being really you. This way, you become irreplaceable. Brand yourself as your content = bring the content that is YOU and that at the same time is about your audience. People pay for your brand – also because they want to be included within your brand. You and your brand become one symbol = deep communication.
This is not ego-istic. You are much more than ego. Your <standing as an ‘I’> at the same time transcends this mere-ego. And that brings you – if done well – spontaneously to:
It’s all about caring
‘Caring’ has been evolutionarily invented more than once. In the human case, blame mammalian evolution. Mother and child while breastfeeding: they look at each other. Oxytocin – hormone – flows in both, enhancing the good feeling from inside.
BUT: at the same time, this may translate into forming ‘the enemy’ as contrasting to the own kin. We humans have the flexibility to either jump into this, making it much worse (empathy to ‘us’ provokes aggression to ‘them’); or to transcend it (growing, becoming wider), making ‘them’ into ‘us’.
Caring as a speaker = very well preparing your presentation
You owe it to ‘your’ public. The effort also makes you confident in having done ‘the best you could’. Attention to detail shows your audience that you care, also through showing yourself that you care. Nonconsciously, your care shows itself to your public.
May this be the main reason to be a ‘thought leader’, not just ‘some speaker’.
Gratitude as a speaker
is part of your caring as a speaker. Show your sincere gratitude to the audience – also during your talk. This way, you and audience are clearly caring for the same: good speech, good influence. Such caring together is HUGELY powerful, motivating, inspiring.
Of course, you can also show your gratitude by helping the event manager to manage the expectations of the audience: give material he can use for this, including your brand property.
This way, you posit your ‘I’ and put your caring within.