That is: eventually and with all relevant support.
Different kinds of ethics
Some see the basis of ethics in a general principle: “Do to others as you want that others do to you.”
Others see it in some kind of authority: “The ten commandments.”
Others see it in an agreement between humans: “Human rights.”
These are horizontal ethics. There are more kinds and many instances of them.
I see ethics as vertical.
This is compatible with the ‘five Aurelian values’ as I like to describe them [see: ‘Five Aurelian Values’]. For instance, Openness is open to the total person. At first, yourself.
There is nothing wrong with ethics pointing to yourself if it’s your total self.
You fill your bucket until it overflows.
The latter happens spontaneously. The result is that you ‘give yourself to the world.’ You do good not beside yourself, but through yourself.
This is also in the interest of the one(s) to whom you are ethical. If it goes through you, you are better able to discern real needs, in deep to deep communication [see: “Deep Listening”].
It’s also the most durable way. You don’t lose yourself in the act. You don’t push your own energy (deep motivation) away from your self. You don’t risk any burnout soon.
Probably even the opposite. It approaches the conditions for ‘flow.’ These are mainly the conditions in which
you are meaningful.
Being meaningful is probably the biggest motivator, the major possible source of ‘flow’, the best antidote against a feeling of, well, a lack of meaningfulness.
Which may just be another term for depression.
Which may just be – more or less, in specific circumstances – another term for burnout.
Vertical is not enough
as a road towards a morally good ethical stance. It’s not something like “be vertical and do whatever pleases you.”
That would be naïve.
Humans need a lot of support in this. However, not support such as ten (or six hundred) precepts… which moreover may lead after a while to much frustration and an empty bucket.
According to me, the best support is Compassion
[see: “Two-Sided Compassion”].
Others can support you. You can support others. You can support yourself.
Nothing is perfect. It can always be better.
It’s always OK as long as you strive.