Stand by Your Man
For the ladies. The principle is gender-unrelated.
Even if your man is ostensibly incorrect (but not immorally so)
or even especially in such case, it’s important to make some effort to ‘stand by.’
It is very human to do so, very warm, probably quite irrational, very endearing, close, following, thereby listening and hearing what cannot otherwise be heard… I stop here what could go on indefinitely.
One dance. One invitation. One appreciation
again and again.
One could point out that from A to C, there’s always a B and never a D. Are you even sure of that?
Does it really matter? Sometimes, maybe. Probably. Sometimes. Many times, however, what is at stake is more personal. People do not live within a textbook of mathematics and logic. People live lives of flesh and blood and… neurons and so on. Really.
This means that poetry matters a great deal.
It doesn’t mean that you should throw away your critical thinking.
On the contrary. Sorry that I keep repeating this. It is so important.
Stand by your man in order to show him yourself, to show him who you are. How could he see you if you’re not even there? I mean: there? Close to him? To see what he wants from you?
Forget war. Remember peace.
You are not in a constant battle with each other unless you make it so. Otherwise, you’re constantly dancing with each other, with yourself. [see: “Dancing With the ‘Deeper Self’”]
It is very worthwhile to do so together.
Let your man know that you are there for him.
Then he will be there for you.
Mind that this does not necessarily mean an ‘us’ (you two) versus a ‘them’ (the enemy). It might be so. It might not. If it is necessarily so, then you are probably both self-serving. In my view, that is not really being there for each other but for oneself. Then your togetherness is more like a fragile house of cards. Not a real house to live in, to build upon.
If you think you are giving something away
then you should think twice.
If you are really ‘giving something away (that means: you substantially lose) that is of importance to you’ – like your independence, your freedom, your right to be you, your time, your essence… – then stop doing so, re-evaluate, talk to someone, give it a break…
until you are certain that you don’t.
You can only dance a beautiful dance with your total self, not with half of it. Although the latter may be comfortable, it is not worthwhile. It is not beautiful.
Support your man
If you see he can use some help, try to give it as inauspiciously as possible. Less is more? Subtle is even better. [see: “What is Subtlety?”] Within any dancing, there are lots of opportunities for this.
Then, if he succeeds, you can be proud of him.
Is this immensely, incredibly, incomprehensibly nice?
To me, yes.
I would move mountains.