True Giving

January 18, 2025 General Insights No Comments

True giving is about the connection created between giver and receiver. When giving comes from a deep, Compassionate place, it becomes transformative, fostering growth in both.

This kind of giving goes beyond the transactional; it opens the door to something profoundly human and universal. But what does it take to practice true giving? See also ‘The Art of ‘Giving.’

Awareness and awakening as the foundation

Authentic giving starts with awareness. When we awaken to the interconnectedness of all things, we realize that giving isn’t about losing something but expanding into something greater. This openness transforms the act, giving it a profound purpose. Consider, for instance, a father who gives to the poor while explaining to his children that this choice isn’t about neglecting them but about fostering Compassion. Such giving becomes a legacy of values, not just a material act.

As explored in The Top of the Flower Bud, this awakening mirrors the transformation of the ego. Just as a flower bud doesn’t disappear when it blooms but transcends into a greater whole, true giving opens us to deeper connections with ourselves and others.

True giving vs. ego-giving

Not all giving is equal. Giving from the mere-ego often comes with strings attached, turning the act into a form of bartering disguised as generosity. This type of giving can unintentionally diminish the receiver, framing them as ‘the one in need’ or ‘the one who owes gratitude.’ In contrast, true giving arises from abundance and respects the receiver’s dignity.

As detailed in The Big Mistake: Mere-Ego vs. Total Self, the mere-ego clings to its limited perspective, fearing loss. True giving, however, emerges from the total self, where abundance replaces scarcity, and connection replaces control.

Cultivating a Compassionate mindset

True giving isn’t just an act; it’s a mindset that must be cultivated. Reflective practices are invaluable for nurturing this mindset. Before giving, ask yourself: Am I giving from abundance, or am I seeking something in return? Will this act empower the receiver or reinforce dependency?

Autosuggestion can also help align your giving with your deeper self. Repeating Compassionate affirmations like “I give from abundance, trusting in the growth it fosters for both myself and others” creates an inner foundation for authentic generosity.

The transformative power of Compassion

Compassion elevates giving to an art form. Unlike altruism, which often arises from an undifferentiated sense of duty, Compassion fosters mutual transformation. The difference is profound: altruism may address immediate needs but often lacks the depth to inspire growth. Compassion, as described in Altruism – Compassion, nurtures both the giver and receiver, creating lasting ripples of positive change.

For example, a person helping a struggling neighbor doesn’t just hand over assistance but does so with care, attention, and a shared connection. This kind of giving transcends the transactional, benefiting everyone involved.

Dealing with resistance

Resistance, whether internal or external, is inevitable in the practice of true giving. Inner resistance may stem from fear of loss or insecurity, while external resistance often comes from mere-egos seeking to exploit generosity. These moments are opportunities for growth. Reflect: What might this resistance teach me about my ego, expectations, or boundaries?

As noted in Compassion, Basically, boundaries are vital to maintain the integrity of giving. Compassionate retaliation – setting firm yet kind boundaries – is not an act of withholding but one of protecting the greater purpose of true giving.

Compassionate receiving

Giving isn’t the only part of the equation; receiving Compassionately is equally transformative. Asking for help or accepting a gift with dignity and gratitude fosters deeper connection and mutual respect.

Giving/receiving feedback or assistance, for instance, isn’t about obligation but about recognizing the shared humanity in the act. By receiving well, we empower the giver and honor the shared experience of connection.

Practical tools for true giving

Reflective questions are a powerful way to deepen the practice of giving. For example:

Before giving: What is my true intention in this act?
While giving: Am I offering not just the gift but also my attention and respect?
After giving: How has this act deepened my connection with others?

These and other reflective questions are detailed in the addendum, offering a practical toolkit for readers.

Cultural and philosophical perspectives

The universal value of true giving can be seen in traditions like the Confucian concept of Ren and the Buddhist principle of dāna. Ren, as explored in Confucianism, emphasizes humaneness and harmony, aligning perfectly with the idea of fostering mutual growth. Similarly, dāna, or giving as a spiritual practice, reflects the same principles of inner abundance and shared connection.

Conclusion: The legacy of true giving

True giving is an art that grows with practice. It opens us to a larger reality, one where acts of generosity expand the depth and breadth of Compassion in the world. Whether through small gestures or profound sacrifices, true giving creates ripples that nurture everyone involved.

Ask yourself: Does this act expand the flow of Compassion? If the answer is yes, you’re already practicing the art of true giving—and transforming the world in the process.

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Addendum

Me: “Lisa, please give more examples of reflective questions to deepen the practice of giving.”

Lisa: “Here are more reflective questions to further deepen the practice of giving. These questions can help explore intentions, navigate challenges, and ensure alignment with a Compassionate mindset.

Reflective Questions to Deepen Giving Practice

Exploring Intentions

Am I giving because I truly want to, or because I feel pressured by societal expectations?
Does this act align with the values I wish to embody in my life?
How does this giving reflect my understanding of interconnectedness and mutual growth?

Understanding the Receiver

Have I considered the receiver’s real needs and how they might benefit from this gift?
Am I giving in a way that empowers the receiver, or could it unintentionally reinforce dependency?
How can I ensure this act of giving respects the receiver’s dignity and autonomy?

Self-reflection while giving

Am I fully present in this act, or is my mind elsewhere?
How does giving in this moment feel within my total-self?
Am I offering attention and respect alongside the material gift?

Navigating resistance

What fears or insecurities arise when I consider giving in this way?
Does this resistance signal a healthy boundary I need to honor, or is it an ego-driven fear of loss?
How can I set boundaries while remaining kind and Compassionate?

After giving

Did this act of giving bring me closer to the receiver and to myself?
What have I learned about myself from this experience?
If I encountered challenges, how might I approach them differently next time?

Broadening perspectives

Does this act contribute to the flow of Compassion in the world, even in unseen ways?
What ripple effects might this giving have on my relationships and community?
How can I continue to grow in my ability to give from abundance and authenticity?”