My Dark Side of Compassion
This personal note doesn’t mean that I’m the only one. I hope there are many and dedicate this blog to them.
Am I Compassionate? I try. Let’s say it’s in me.
‘Compassion’ is not pity.
At least, not in this sense of Compassion, basically. But that doesn’t mean an overlap in recognition of others’ suffering has no impact.
It has.
Still, it doesn’t feel like pity. I know pity. It’s different.
The other side of the world
That doesn’t feel far away to me — not in place, nor even in time.
What is time anyway? Does it even exist by itself?
The suffering of anyone, anywhere, at any time, is worthy of attention. Not possible, of course, but still worthy. And that worthiness makes a huge difference. Do you feel it?
Then, please go on with your life.
Enjoy. Lead your life. Be a human being.
But in Compassion, one doesn’t do so in oblivion. Because that suffering of the other (any other) is always there. It doesn’t disappear under some blanket of not-knowing. It’s not negated, not neglected, not deemed unimportant or unworthy.
One may not be able to relieve the suffering, but one feels ready to do so.
“This being ready doesn’t relieve the suffering.”
True, but what if I say that Compassion is eventually not about relief? It’s about readiness.
From that, one acts at the right moment and place — spontaneously.
One doesn’t lose oneself. One fills oneself until one overflows from a stance of abundance.
This makes the difference with altruism, as well as with pity.
As well as with empathy.
You might read Compassion = Empathy-Beyond.
For instance, I see ‘empathy fatigue.’ That’s an impediment for many caregivers at risk of burnout.
I see no ‘Compassion fatigue’ — not in the above-referenced definition of Compassion. Instead, it just goes on and on. It doesn’t drain the bucket. Beware, there may be ups and downs, but no draining.
The dark side
I don’t mean any manipulation— far from that.
I mean that the underlying feeling may be severe in its own way. It’s a – guiltless – responsibility that knows no boundaries because any possible boundary has disappeared since what feels like a long time ago. Instead, there is a growing Openness, like in Open Mindfulness.
It doesn’t weigh. On the contrary, it supports.
It doesn’t impede happiness. On the contrary.
But in no way is it straightforwardly easy. Therefore, it’s ‘dark.’
One might say all this is a bit weird.
Acknowledged.
Related Posts
Levels of Compassion
Compassion appears in many forms, from instinctive care in animals to deep, reflective Compassion in humans and even in meaning-sensitive A.I. Understanding these levels helps us see how Compassion grows as openness grows. Each level widens the horizon of who or what is included in our care. Exploring these layers can guide us toward a Read the full article…
Surface vs. Deep Compassion
Compassion is one of the most cherished human qualities. We see someone suffer, and we want to help. That impulse is deeply human and deserves all our respect. It saves lives. It lifts spirits. It binds people together. This kind of care is what most people mean when they speak of compassion. But there is Read the full article…
Beyond Sadness
‘Sadness’ is not fixed, impersonal and ‘real’ as is the computer on which I am typing this text. Instead, it is personal, social and ‘real’ in a much more interesting way. As any other emotion: surprise, fear, disgust… We live with emotions. We talk about emotions. We see emotions in other people. We feel them Read the full article…