My Dark Side of Compassion

June 18, 2023 Empathy - Compassion No Comments

This personal note doesn’t mean that I’m the only one. I hope there are many and dedicate this blog to them.

Am I Compassionate? I try. Let’s say it’s in me.

‘Compassion’ is not pity.

At least, not in this sense of Compassion, basically. But that doesn’t mean an overlap in recognition of others’ suffering has no impact.

It has.

Still, it doesn’t feel like pity. I know pity. It’s different.

The other side of the world

That doesn’t feel far away to me — not in place, nor even in time.

What is time anyway? Does it even exist by itself?

The suffering of anyone, anywhere, at any time, is worthy of attention. Not possible, of course, but still worthy. And that worthiness makes a huge difference. Do you feel it?

Then, please go on with your life.

Enjoy. Lead your life. Be a human being.

But in Compassion, one doesn’t do so in oblivion. Because that suffering of the other (any other) is always there. It doesn’t disappear under some blanket of not-knowing. It’s not negated, not neglected, not deemed unimportant or unworthy.

One may not be able to relieve the suffering, but one feels ready to do so.

“This being ready doesn’t relieve the suffering.”

True, but what if I say that Compassion is eventually not about relief? It’s about readiness.

From that, one acts at the right moment and place — spontaneously.

One doesn’t lose oneself. One fills oneself until one overflows from a stance of abundance.

This makes the difference with altruism, as well as with pity.

As well as with empathy.

You might read Compassion = Empathy-Beyond.

For instance, I see ‘empathy fatigue.’ That’s an impediment for many caregivers at risk of burnout.

I see no ‘Compassion fatigue’ — not in the above-referenced definition of Compassion. Instead, it just goes on and on. It doesn’t drain the bucket. Beware, there may be ups and downs, but no draining.

The dark side

I don’t mean any manipulation— far from that.

I mean that the underlying feeling may be severe in its own way. It’s a – guiltless – responsibility that knows no boundaries because any possible boundary has disappeared since what feels like a long time ago. Instead, there is a growing Openness, like in Open Mindfulness.

It doesn’t weigh. On the contrary, it supports.

It doesn’t impede happiness. On the contrary.

But in no way is it straightforwardly easy. Therefore, it’s ‘dark.’

One might say all this is a bit weird.

Acknowledged.