AURELIS

Heal your Self
Dr. J.L.Mommaerts, MD, MSc, PhD

Bullying

Heal Your Self 

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Often from an existing dominant position

Bullying often happens from an existing dominant position: having support from a larger group, being physically stronger… and is at the cost of someone else, aggressive, humiliating, intimidating, gossiping, socially isolating, threatening, in the form of not giving important information, giving unpleasant jobs… It is very possible that the bully has no idea what damage is caused. Motivations to bully can be: ‘learned’ behavior, frustration, fear, projection of oneself into the one who is being bullied, reduction of the own stress…

Damage

Unlike the bully, the victim doesn’t know when the next bullying will happen. This can lead to a very demolishing situation. Posttraumatic stress can develop or a general fear syndrome. The bullying is thus detrimental to the victim. But also to the bully, to the people who are witnesses, the partner, children, the culture at a department at work for instance, etc. Consequences of this can be a high level of sick leave, a large rotation of personnel at work, loss of production …

Not becoming immobilized

Victims are often very dependent on what others think of them. They are often uncertain and wonder whether one believes them and whether or not it’s their own fault. For this reason, they rather conceal the undesired behavior and therefore are doubly vulnerable. It goes without saying that this is not the ideal attitude. The bully chooses an easy victim. Don’t make it easier for the bully than is necessary. A good amount of assertiveness (no passivity, no aggression) is at place here. See also the AURELIS domain ‘Assertiveness’. Bullying behavior deserves a specific treatment. This can be fairly confrontational. Take care of feelings of revenge that rather reinforce the pattern. This is a chance to not only escape the bullying behavior, but also to learn to know better your own strengths and weaknesses. In the long run, this can even help you develop into a LEADER. You already have the advantage to better understand others who find themselves in the position of being bullied.
Autosuggestion sessions
  • You are worth understanding and respect
    This session helps you think deeper about the fact that you are worth of understanding and respect. You stand for that - you no longer let your feelings of worthiness be damaged.
    Play Session
  • In the place of the bully
    You imagine yourself in the place of the person who shows bullying behavior. From that position you look at yourself and get a better feeling about the motivations for the bullying behavior. You also see what can possibly lead to a spontaneous redeuction of that behavior.
    Play Session
  • 'Changing skin' into a leader figure
    Without forcing anything, you feel internally for characteristics of a leader figure. In imagination, you let the bullying fall from you like an old skin that is no longer necessary. This session only works if you can let it happen very spontaneously.
    Play Session
  • You put yourself outside the bullying
    You imagine that, when you are being bullied, you look at the situation and feel it from the outside, as if it concerns someone else whom you can then assist very neutrally.
    Play Session
  • From ugly duckling to swan
    You imagine a future in which the bullying no longer takes place. You can look with pride at everything that you have realized until then. The former bullying has no influence on you anymore.
    Play Session
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