OK, there is something in this. But I don\u2019t quite agree.<\/p>\n
I think that one should never readily show oneself as vulnerable. There is no point in showing oneself as vulnerable, nor in BEING vulnerable.<\/p>\n
Am I being \u2018Mr. Tough Guy\u2019 now? Well, maybe. Being vulnerable or \u2018weak\u2019 is not my dream situation. For a starters, it attracts negative reactions of all sorts.<\/p>\n
Although they go together on many occasions, one can be sensitive without being vulnerable and one can be vulnerable without being sensitive. The ability to be sensitive without being vulnerable, is to me a \u2018higher level of inner strength\u2019, thus even a higher level of sensitivity. It\u2019s easier to be an impervious stone. A stone is not \u2018strong\u2019 but hard. A stone is not sensitive.<\/p>\n
Where does vulnerability start? Not at feeling pain, but at reacting in defense to that feeling. Not at feeling distressed, but at avoiding the distress towards a comfortable zone. Not at fear, but at running away just to avoid that fear at any cost.<\/p>\n
Vulnerability is not in the feeling, but in the running away from feeling.<\/strong><\/p>\n Instead of \u2018heightening your tolerance for vulnerability,\u2019 to me it seems more appropriate to lower your vulnerability. It is precisely through this that you can keep or even heighten your sensitivity.<\/p>\n The same distinction also exists between a \u2018highly sensitive person\u2019 and a \u2018highly vulnerable person.\u2019 One is not necessarily the other. The distinction is generally not accurately made. Thus, a highly sensitive person should be supported towards less vulnerability<\/em>. Principally, he may then stay at the same level of sensitivity. Hopefully, he does.<\/p>\n Is the end goal to be less sensitive? Or less vulnerable?<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cReal men don\u2019t cry\u2026\u201d Hm. According to me, there\u2019s something in this that\u2019s right and something that\u2019s wrong. It may be clear what, by now. So if you are a man (or woman), please cry, but don\u2019t let your crying enforce your actions in any negative way. Don\u2019t let your tears make you back away. On the contrary, let them make you stronger in your resolve to right some wrong. Be a real man\u2026<\/p>\n \u2026 or woman, because the same is relevant of course for both sexes.<\/p>\n Real men and women can cry and be brave.<\/strong><\/p>\n I know of no scientific research into this, but it may even be a qualitatively different kind of crying. \u2018Brave crying\u2019 may heighten certain hormones for instance, that are lowered by \u2018vulnerable crying.\u2019<\/p>\n According to me, a better world ensues from keeping one\u2019s sensitivity while lowering one\u2019s vulnerability. This may be more difficult than just numbing both, but the end result is more durable and in accordance to oneself as a whole. Accordingly, it\u2019s also more ethically correct. It\u2019s a basis for a more integrated person, a better society and even a better humanity.<\/p>\n The world needs sensitivity without vulnerability<\/strong><\/p>\n At a broad level for instance, people frequently seek revenge out of feeling vulnerable \u2013 calling this \u2018justice.\u2019 They even wage wars out of feeling vulnerable \u2013 calling this \u2018self-defense,\u2019 preemptive or not. Sensitivity \u2013 even as ability to listen more closely to oneself and each other \u2013 may diminish the need for such.<\/p>\n Sensitivity makes stronger.<\/strong><\/p>\n Being more sensitive, you can be moved by all sorts of things and situations. You continuously adjust towards being able to handle all this. Thus, like a sword that is being battered by a blacksmith, the end result gets stronger. A sword that is not battered, may look the same but breaks more easily. Therefore the bearer may \u2013 correctly \u2013 avoid direct confrontations out of fear\u2026 until it\u2019s too late.<\/p>\n It\u2019s OK to let yourself be battered a bit now and then. You yourself are the judge in this.<\/p>\n Nothing wrong with sensitivity, even while being battered.<\/strong><\/p>\n Therefore, avoid vulnerability.<\/p>\n