\u2018Giving away\u2019 feels like you lose something. If this is your feeling as a caregiver, time and time again, then little by little you can start feeling bad. It\u2019s as if others are taking something from you. It\u2019s like you\u2019re being drained by the ones you take care of or by an administration that doesn\u2019t respect you. Your caregiver\u2019s fire being drained, you risk burning out.<\/p>\n
Please do not \u2018give away\u2019 as a diminishment of yourself, as losing something. What you lose is your deep motivation.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
In our present give-and-take society, caregivers are in an awkward position \u2013 being supposed to \u2018give away and not take.\u2019 Indeed, your \u2018taking\u2019 is usually seen as unbecoming. You are a giver, not a taker. I agree, actually. Please do not \u2018take\u2019 anything. You can see it as your privilege as a caregiver, to receive instead of to take. Even money that may come to you as a professional, is not something you take, as in a balance. It is something you \u2018receive.\u2019 You are special in this\u2026 and maybe in the end everyone could become special like you. Hopefully \u2013 you are the forerunner of a future society. As for now, you can already help \u2013 by not letting yourself become prone to burnout.<\/p>\n
Be a giver and a receiver.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Am I a bit utopian? Possibly, BUT: when starting my medical career, I vowed to myself that with each consultation<\/em>, I would gain something personally worthwhile. This could be an insight, a feeling of warmth\u2026 I think I succeeded almost every time. Recounting this now makes me humble and quite proud. What I also did sometimes was, between two consultations, take just a few moments to look back and forward. Backwards with enjoyment, however slightly, and forwards with a relaxed curiosity. What is this next human being going to teach me? This also helped me to encounter my patients with an emotional eager, looking forward to learning, to \u2018becoming a better person.\u2019<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not easy but then again it\u2019s not really difficult like advanced math or learning Japanese. Please don\u2019t see it as something you must or even should do. It\u2019s something that perhaps you might do, spontaneously. It\u2019s perfectly OK if one tries to do so and then \u2018forgets\u2019 many times. You can see it as an invitation to yourself. Nothing more. Nothing less.<\/p>\n
Let your patients (clients, pupils, cared for) give you care. Let them help you not to burn out.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I still remember occasions in which the \u2018giving\u2019 was so both-sided that I remarked \u2013 openly to that patient \u2013 that the only difference in giving was the money I received. Which is OK, to receive money. You give. You receive. One of the elements in all this is money. How important this is to you, is your decision. Does it warm your heart? What will it enable you to do? Will you enjoy and let others enjoy?<\/p>\n
What you may give most, is of course your \u2018empathy\u2019: being with someone else \u2013 giving care \u2013 while specifically not losing yourself, which is best for both parties. The one who is given care to, feels your joy and strength. He feels your eagerness and may himself thereby become more eager to live<\/p>\n
as an ever-lasting fire.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n