With \u2018trauma,\u2019 I denote in this text the actual happening as well as the living memory of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Trauma is (not) a part of you<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In one way, trauma is a part of you. You should not cut it out just like that. Trying to do so, you can cut into yourself and provoke more trauma. Thus, people frequently get stuck in a post-traumatic groove. [see: \u201cPTSD: a groovy kind of stress<\/a>\u201d]<\/p>\n\n\n\n In another way, trauma is not a part of you in the sense that you could not get beyond. You can get beyond, not by cutting but inviting\/growing in a sensible way, which is not at all straightforward. [see: \u201cFreedom + Direction = Invitation<\/a>\u201c]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Compassionate ways<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Openness to the wisdom that trauma can bring is vital in both Compassionate ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Wisdom of trauma shows how these go together:<\/p>\n\n\n\n To get to the wisdom of trauma, one needs to listen deeply.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n [see: \u201cDeep Listening<\/a>\u201c]<\/p>\n\n\n\n One needs to be careful with this. It may be better to listen \u2013 Listen \u2013 with the support of someone trusted and who is professional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do I think of an AURELIS coach? [see: \u201cGrowing towards AURELIS Coach<\/a>\u201d]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Distance<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n As a general principle in Listening, it\u2019s crucial to find the \u2018right distance.\u2019 This is certainly the case for trauma:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The correct distance is the one where you can remain relaxed and open while feeling that the trauma can \u2018speak to you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here, you start communicating.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This is, as a matter of fact, the thing of importance in it all. Not the running away, nor the diving into, but the communication \u2015 as spontaneously as possible but ready when it comes. A meditative mindset is useful to this end. [see: ” \u2018Being Ready\u2019 in Meditation<\/a>“]<\/p>\n\n\n\n More than ever, with a daily overload of information and little time to digest it, this isn\u2019t easy for many people. Some formal meditation practice may help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And the wisdom is\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n very personal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, it\u2019s essential to see it as very personal, not trying to pin it down to what it is supposed to be. It can be an insight, a feeling, an image, a motivation, a vague feeling that \u2018something happened.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trying to control it and take hold of it may be the best way to avoid true wisdom ever appearing. One may become frustrated and relinquish the effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, is it \u2018your wisdom\u2019?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It certainly is. That\u2019s one more reason to handle whatever comes with deep respect, also if it\u2019s subtle. [see: “What is Subtlety?<\/a>“]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let me end by validating this for leadership, in which it is known that a \u2018second birth\u2019 through traumatic experiences may build a true leader. [see: \u201cFrom Fear of Failure to Failure as Part of Success<\/a>\u201d]<\/p>\n