You see \u2015 I’m already putting it into practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No abiding (at the surface level)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n If it’s worthwhile, it’s worthwhile. In such a case, abiding is not gentle but weak. [see: “Weak, Hard, Strong, Gentle<\/a>“]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, showing that you will not simply abide is an invitation in its own right. It’s clear and door-opening communication that you find it worthwhile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Profoundly<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n You may already feel that with ‘invite,’ I don’t mean just being nice. It’s also not harassing someone by invitations on and on. Please don’t try to manipulate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To profoundly invite means to try to understand the other, overlap, and search for a more profound level upon which you can learn something new \u2015 preferably also about yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That way, also after some failure to find access, you can start with a new invitation. Whether it works this time or not, at least you’ve made some progress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Form vs. intention<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n An invitation is not necessarily friendly at the surface. Also, to be friendly to the total person doesn’t necessarily mean being friendly to a mere-ego. To a person with substantial inner dissociation, the contrary may be the case. [see: “Inner Friend or Foe?<\/a>“]<\/p>\n\n\n\n For instance, in Zen meditation, this can show itself so intensely that it appears crude and rude. You’re sitting there, and someone with a stick comes and hits you \u2015 at your invitation, but still. Yet, good meditation is about being friendly above anything else. [see: “Meditation = Being Friendly<\/a>“]<\/p>\n\n\n\n An invitation may take the form of a fight<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This means fighting-for, not against.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For instance, a coach can fight for the well-being of his coachee. He may invite the coachee to do the same. Even so, the difference with fighting-against may be subtle. Wisdom is involved in making a clear distinction. Part of this lies in patience and deep listening \u2015 never abiding. [see: “Deep Listening<\/a>“]<\/p>\n\n\n\n AURELIS coaching<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This is a universe of autosuggestion, being profoundly inviting. [see: “Freedom + Direction = Invitation<\/a>“]<\/p>\n\n\n\n The coachee is accepted as he is, as a total person, including his conscious wish to change. As this ideal can never be accomplished, it is a direction, something to strive for without frustration. [see: “Delayed Gratification, No Frustration<\/a>“]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Resistance<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Encountering clear resistance, you may try to understand this also \u2015 not thinking too rashly that you do. There may be quite some depth involved and intermingled associations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In other words, sticky spaghetti. You may think you draw at one spaghetto, but you have the whole plate following behind it. That might be too much to handle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s better to try to listen and learn, learn and listen until you need some feedback through the next invitation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Resistance may hide during a fight. It only diminishes by itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not easy!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It can be a lot of hard work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But we aren’t afraid of that, are we?<\/p>\n