\u2026 as well as to their own true motivation.<\/p>\n
Building consensus is about finding true motivations.<\/strong><\/p>\n What motivates people may be quite different from what they think<\/em> to be deeply important to them. Much research points to this fact. For instance, at implicit association tests, a person who deems himself to be very safety minded, may show to be much less so in personal depth.<\/p>\n You cannot know what is important to someone, not even to yourself, by just asking.<\/strong><\/p>\n So how do you know what is deeply<\/em> important to someone? You cannot, or hardly. Luckily, you also do not have to, in order to reach deep consensus. Even more, you need to \u2018let go.\u2019 That is, mainly: to abandon the idea that you need to be in conscious control in order to reach consensus.<\/p>\n You can compare this to surfing on ocean waves.<\/strong><\/p>\n Without consciously controlling the waves, you \u2018let go.\u2019 Waves come and go as they please. You adapt to them. In a way, you \u2018deeply listen\u2019 to them. From this, you gain control at a different level.<\/p>\n You cannot control a person\u2019s motivational waves. You can invite them, then surf on them. In addition, you do choose these waves. So you are<\/em> in control at a different level, in perfect implicit consensus.<\/p>\n How to?<\/strong><\/p>\n You can invite the other to show you some waves through asking very open questions like:<\/p>\n Give the other person time to answer. His searching for an appropriate answer is important. Meanwhile, he is giving attention to his own deeper layers. You give the other a space in which he can reach his own deep motivation.<\/p>\n Power of attention<\/strong><\/p>\n People commonly think they need to act in order to be active. The most important activity however may be just giving deep attention. It enables you to let things deeply within you \u2013 without your conscious intervention \u2013 change themselves. A change from inside. Growth. Deep motivation is being touched this way and at the same time it changes.<\/p>\n Asking questions to another person, also ask them to yourself. Give attention to your own inner path towards the answer. Then look at both answers. See where they differ or coincide. Try not to argue. Then in respect and openness, communicate the thoughts that arise within you. Invite the other person to do the same. Give attention to whatever else arrives at the scene. No more. No less. Do you feel it?<\/p>\n Let consensus arise if it does so by itself.<\/strong><\/p>\n Be open. Any feeling of consensus is OK. You can also be open for gratefulness, as if it\u2019s a \u2018gift from nowhere.\u2019 This \u2018nowhere\u2019 actually is a space deep within you, your \u2018deeper self\u2019 \u2013 if you want to call it so. Your \u2018unconscious\u2019 \u2013 in a scientific way. Nothing magical.<\/p>\n In this \u2018nowhere space,\u2019 you reach the best consensus at the level of deep motivation.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n