{"id":606,"date":"2018-03-26T13:50:25","date_gmt":"2018-03-26T13:50:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=606"},"modified":"2025-10-12T08:11:25","modified_gmt":"2025-10-12T08:11:25","slug":"always-responsible-never-guilty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cognitive-insights\/always-responsible-never-guilty","title":{"rendered":"Always Responsible, Never Guilty"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3>The difference between guilt and responsibility is very important, yet frequently it\u2019s barely acknowledged.<\/h3>\n<blockquote><p>You are guilty when having committed a crime. What is denoted as a crime may vary. Sometimes homosexuality is seen as an awful crime. At another time and place, it\u2019s normal behavior.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Crime does not exist without cultural definition.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A set of rules delineating \u2018crime\u2019 forms a specific code of ethics. For instance, a set of \u2018general human rights.\u2019 Cultures have different ethics and even within one broad culture, there may be contradictory ethics, forming subcultures. Ethics itself is a main way to \u2018control\u2019 individuals, aligning them into a specific culture. Good for that culture but:<\/p>\n<p><strong>does ethics necessarily need to be guilt-provoking?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Theoretically, no. Moreover, the idea of \u2018guilt\u2019 has been developed long ago when there was no insight in the human unconscious. Now we know that <em>every<\/em> motivation (whether towards crime or good deeds) arises from the unconscious. This makes feelings of guilt in the usual sense somehow obsolete.<\/p>\n<p><strong>So let me introduce \u2018guilt-less responsibility.\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In my experience, when people hear the term \u2018responsibility\u2019, they generally think it\u2019s about guilt even if they themselves think differently at first sight. <em>Guilt-less responsibility<\/em> is, as the term denotes, clearly about responsibility <em>without<\/em> guilt.<\/p>\n<p>I see in this a variance of \u2018control\u2019:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>control-1: <strong>Rules + punishment if not obeyed.<\/strong> For instance: \u201cIf you do not obey me, I hit you.\u201d No feeling of guilt is required. People know the rules and act accordingly or bear consequences. There is purely external control.<\/li>\n<li>control-2: <strong>As an extension to control-1, a <em>feeling<\/em> of guilt is used as a way to further control people<\/strong>, internalizing the external control. For instance: \u201cIf you do not obey me, you are a bad person.\u201d This is needed in complex societies. Generally, not only the rules are internalized but also the punishment, leading to self-punishment such as through chronic pain. This has been scientifically proven many times, in contrast to responsibility which has been proven to be beneficial.<\/li>\n<li>control-3: <strong>\u2018Guilt-less responsibility.\u2019<\/strong> For instance: \u201cI do not need to obey to this rule, but I do so because I care for other people.\u201d Note that the difference with control-2, even while being important, is not straightforward: internalized versus truly internal\u2026 This is why people mistake so much between guilt and responsibility.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Culturally, we are still deeply into control-2, with as consequence: much psychosomatic suffering. E.g. a mother wants the best for her child but she is not able to provide optimum care and feels guilty, \u2018not being a good mother\u2019. This guilt drives her to want it even more. She gets in a vicious circle and a lot of distress, dis-ease (as in un-ease), possibly even disease. Not good for the child either.<\/p>\n<p>It makes sense to evolve to control-3.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Responsibility is no coercion.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>People who feel responsible, feel free. They also may feel pride for acting responsibly. They couldn\u2019t feel pride if acting through coercion.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Yet responsibility is not gratuitous.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Responsibility demands that you work on yourself, that you open yourself towards growth in responsibility. It also calls for a whole culture to work out individual support towards responsibility. Finally, it demands that the <em>total<\/em> human being \u2013 consciously and unconsciously \u2013 becomes the measure of all things. So:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Is humankind ready for this?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Can one build culture without \u2018guilt\u2019? Theoretically, yes. Practically? Honestly, I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p>What I do know, is that if <em>you<\/em> (and me and many others\u2026) do not take action, humanity will not be ready for it for a long time.<\/p>\n<div data-object_id=\"606\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkwrap cbxwpbkmarkwrap_no_cat cbxwpbkmarkwrap-post \"><a  data-redirect-url=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/606\"  data-display-label=\"0\" data-show-count=\"0\" data-bookmark-label=\" \"  data-bookmarked-label=\" \"  data-loggedin=\"0\" data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"606\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig  cbxwpbkmarktrig-button-addto\" title=\"Bookmark This\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig-label\"  style=\"display:none;\" > <\/span><\/a> <div  data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"606\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap\" id=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap-606\"><div class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguest-message\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguesttrig_close\"><\/a><h3 class=\"cbxwpbookmark-title cbxwpbookmark-title-login\">Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t<form name=\"loginform\" id=\"loginform\" action=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-login.php\" method=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-username\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_login\">Username or Email Address<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"text\" name=\"log\" id=\"user_login\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-password\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_pass\">Password<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"password\" name=\"pwd\" id=\"user_pass\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-remember\"><label><input name=\"rememberme\" type=\"checkbox\" id=\"rememberme\" value=\"forever\" \/> Remember Me<\/label><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-submit\">\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"wp-submit\" id=\"wp-submit\" class=\"button button-primary\" value=\"Log In\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"redirect_to\" value=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/606\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The difference between guilt and responsibility is very important, yet frequently it\u2019s barely acknowledged. You are guilty when having committed a crime. What is denoted as a crime may vary. Sometimes homosexuality is seen as an awful crime. At another time and place, it\u2019s normal behavior. Crime does not exist without cultural definition. A set <a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cognitive-insights\/always-responsible-never-guilty\">Read the full article&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n<div data-object_id=\"606\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkwrap cbxwpbkmarkwrap_no_cat cbxwpbkmarkwrap-post \"><a  data-redirect-url=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/606\"  data-display-label=\"0\" data-show-count=\"0\" data-bookmark-label=\" \"  data-bookmarked-label=\" \"  data-loggedin=\"0\" data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"606\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig  cbxwpbkmarktrig-button-addto\" title=\"Bookmark This\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig-label\"  style=\"display:none;\" > <\/span><\/a> <div  data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"606\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap\" id=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap-606\"><div class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguest-message\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguesttrig_close\"><\/a><h3 class=\"cbxwpbookmark-title cbxwpbookmark-title-login\">Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t<form name=\"loginform\" id=\"loginform\" action=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-login.php\" method=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-username\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_login\">Username or Email Address<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"text\" name=\"log\" id=\"user_login\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-password\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_pass\">Password<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"password\" name=\"pwd\" id=\"user_pass\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-remember\"><label><input name=\"rememberme\" type=\"checkbox\" id=\"rememberme\" value=\"forever\" \/> Remember Me<\/label><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-submit\">\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"wp-submit\" id=\"wp-submit\" class=\"button button-primary\" value=\"Log In\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"redirect_to\" value=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/606\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":607,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[30,91],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/60.jpg?fit=962%2C554&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Fdiq-9M","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/606"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=606"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/606\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25262,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/606\/revisions\/25262"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/607"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=606"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=606"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=606"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}