{"id":589,"date":"2018-03-17T09:06:17","date_gmt":"2018-03-17T09:06:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=589"},"modified":"2023-07-23T06:35:56","modified_gmt":"2023-07-23T06:35:56","slug":"from-discussion-to-conversation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/general-insights\/from-discussion-to-conversation","title":{"rendered":"From Discussion to Conversation"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is not obvious to many people. Thereby they get into needless difficulties, trying to ‘win’ alone instead of to gain insight together.<\/h3>\n

This is about people talking about some meaningful issue in a domain they both hold dear. Eventually of course, it can be any domain.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A (converging) conversation is a being together<\/strong>,<\/p>\n

talking about the same and as if from the same perspective, namely: trying to find commonality. It\u2019s not about winning any verbal battle.<\/p>\n

If this process is profoundly coached by a third party, we can talk about transformative mediation<\/a>.<\/p>\n

In a (disputatious) discussion, there is dissonance \u2013 two parties try to get the upper hand.<\/strong><\/p>\n

An opinion needs to be defended, sometimes quite aggressively. One person\u2019s gain is the other person\u2019s loss, consciously or non-consciously.<\/p>\n

There is a clear distinction between both, a clearly different goal.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In a verbal exchange, it\u2019s good to see whether it involves a genuine conversation or a discussion. If both parties are on different tracks in this regard, problems may ensue.<\/p>\n

For instance, in day-to-day dialogue between a man and a woman, frequently one is more on the discussion track, the other on the conversational track. Problems at bay\u2026 Clarifying the tracks may alleviate these problems. True: it may be needed to bring such clarification more than once during the same conversation. It\u2019s worthwhile.<\/p>\n

Personally, I have gotten weary of too much discussion.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not the first one. Socrates already made it a central point of his teaching. He didn\u2019t like the disputatious debates going on in the Athenian assemblies. In his preferred personal dialogue, he saw no winner nor loser but\u00a0 people giving each other beautifully expressed arguments with the intention of personal growth and insight, \u2018wisdom\u2019.<\/p>\n

The goal of discussion is to change the other, thus<\/em> not being changed oneself. The goal of conversation is a change from inside, an opening oneself to the other and to one\u2019s own inner growth. Socrates\u2019 aim was an \u2018initiative\u2019 insight into how little had been known, followed by a transformation into a \u2018better person\u2019 and \u2013 according to Socrates \u2013 therefore also a happier person, a \u2018true philosopher\u2019.<\/p>\n

Advantages and disadvantages in real, present-day situations.<\/strong><\/p>\n

An important disadvantage of discussion is that it doesn\u2019t invite both parties to look for elements in favor of the other\u2019s perspective or in disfavor of one\u2019s own. An advantage is the reverse: each party may have more energy to develop the own perspective.<\/p>\n

Another disadvantage of discussion is the possibility of interpersonal dissociation: the parties don\u2019t listen to each other. After a while, they project a negative image of the other on the own private screen. The real other person gets lost behind the screen.<\/p>\n

A disadvantage of conversation is the possible (!) loss of clarity and discreteness, thus also of making clear decisions.<\/p>\n

Eventually, a combination of both may lead to the best results.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Even so, it\u2019s preferable for both parties to know what\u2019s going on and to be open in this. It can be done at the dinner table as well as during international negotiations.<\/p>\n

This way, being able to distinguish between conversation and discussion may be a very important skill needed for human progress.<\/p>\n

We are \u2018total<\/em> human beings\u2019 in need of any possible instrument in order to become \u2018better ones\u2019.<\/p>\n

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This is not obvious to many people. Thereby they get into needless difficulties, trying to ‘win’ alone instead of to gain insight together. This is about people talking about some meaningful issue in a domain they both hold dear. Eventually of course, it can be any domain. A (converging) conversation is a being together, talking Read the full article…<\/a><\/p>\n

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