The term \u2018adolescent,\u2019 etymologically \u2018one who is becoming an adult\u2019 arguably puts the norm on adulthood: adolescence as a preparation for adult life, complexified by hormonal changes and an ongoing cognitive and emotional, even neurophysiological maturation of the brain.<\/p>\n
Does this make adolescence second-best? <\/strong><\/p>\n Adolescence (including puberty, being a teenager) is like \u2018being born into\u2019 an adult world of societal meaning. An adolescent is new to this and thus also more prone to be \u2018wild\u2019 in the sense of not taking old norms for granted. He wants to build his own truths, especially in domains involving depth. As such, he spontaneously questions rigid authority \u2013 rules for rules\u2019 sake.<\/p>\n After all, it\u2019s an age of important decisions that may direct one\u2019s further life: professionally, relationally, morally\u2026 Challenging the system may make one find or create a better place in it. Moreover, that\u2019s also good for the system itself.<\/p>\n Adolescence is not so much a fight against \u2018authority\u2019 as it is a genuine search for meaning.<\/strong><\/p>\n True, this may sound like a sixties\u2019 view on the new generation<\/em>. I would say \u2018eternally new\u2019, or \u2018original \u2013 close to the origin\u2019. With a fresh eye, an adolescent tends to be more openly interested in the big issues of life, like \u2018what is the purpose of living\u2019?<\/p>\n Sometimes old age brings this back. Or \u2013 wisdom.<\/p>\n Adolescence is wanting to see the borderlines from both sides.<\/strong><\/p>\n This involves a degree of risk-taking and possible dangers: getting stuck in a blind alley, going too far in some direction\u2026. If the adult world puts too much rules over meaning, then, pardon me, an adolescent may even react as a \u2018rebel without a cause.\u2019 There may be a cause, yet it\u2019s meaning<\/em> that makes him rally.<\/p>\n True, this sounds even more sixties.<\/p>\n This is not to say that adolescents cannot use a lot of support of course.<\/p>\n A few tips when you are an adult with teenager(s):<\/strong><\/p>\n Don\u2019t fight your teenager. See his behavior as a fight for meaning. Show yourself as you are. Above all, don\u2019t try to \u2018play the teenager\u2019 but please see your child as your personal coach in at least a few facets. Adolescents can be a mirror to adults, who may see in this mirror what they have inadvertently lost. Try to become \u2018wild\u2019 again if you like, in an adult fashion. With this as common ground, you may grow towards each other. In the best case, an adult is not someone who has lost his adolescence but who has been growing through it \u2013 and maybe still is. Being in contact with young people is especially nice in this respect.<\/p>\n An ideal growth towards adulthood is through integration, not substitution, of adolescent values.<\/strong><\/p>\n In this, one can find much of Open Leadership!<\/p>\n Does this last sentence surprise you?<\/p>\n