{"id":3110,"date":"2020-07-17T16:17:39","date_gmt":"2020-07-17T16:17:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=3110"},"modified":"2020-07-11T16:18:45","modified_gmt":"2020-07-11T16:18:45","slug":"lonely-at-the-top","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/open-leadership\/lonely-at-the-top","title":{"rendered":"Lonely at the Top?"},"content":{"rendered":"

One is not lonely by being alone, but by losing oneself.<\/em><\/h3>\n

You may have already heard the expression in the title, or even experienced it yourself. Of course, one does not have to be at the top to be lonely. Loneliness occurs in all walks of life. One can therefore also reverse the expression. The loneliness is always present. It just becomes more visible at the top. Being surrounded by people \u2018on an equal level\u2019, hides the loneliness. One is holding each other up… in underlying solitude. However, if one stands \u2018alone\u2019, as a pariah for example or as a leader, there is no one to help you with this. In that case, one is on his own. It is as if one is standing on the top of a mountain, with an open panorama that stretches out in front of him. Loneliness is not<\/em> the result of this, on the contrary! But we will see that in a moment.<\/p>\n

A tip for leadership<\/strong>: be realistic and lead yourself. Neither loneliness nor happiness automatically come with reaching the top. Such ideas may slow you down.<\/p>\n

Another reason why loneliness becomes apparent at the top is the loss of an overpowering target. It is a general phenomenon that people who are working their way up tend to \u2018forget themselves.\u2019 One strives for happiness \u2013 whatever this means \u2013 as if it were all there for the taking. By striving, one does not notice the emptiness that one is loading, as if it were Bogeyman\u2019s bag. Due to poor attention in the other direction, this emptiness is becoming ever bigger. Once one is at the top, there is nothing to take. It was an illusion. At the same time, the bag is falling from one\u2019s own shoulder, open on the ground. Painful.<\/p>\n

A different loneliness<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Let\u2019s say you\u2019re a mountaineer. You\u2019ve conquered a mountain. You\u2019re at the top. You have \u2018fought\u2019, but it was not<\/em> an aggressive fight against the mountain, nor against other mountaineers or against yourself (hopefully). You enjoy the result. You enjoy the view. You feel \u2018mighty like the mountain itself.\u2019 You look around and you feel \u2018spacious like the environment itself.\u2019 A vague sense of loneliness may be present, but it is a sweet and good feeling. It feels like being close to<\/em> your core. It feels like solitude and at the same time the opposite of it.<\/p>\n

That brings us to another aspect of loneliness, namely the positive one. Loneliness doesn\u2019t necessarily involve negative feelings. It may also create a sense of freedom, even better: it may create the feeling of an almost total freedom, where one just has to take the final step toward total freedom. Accepting this setting deep within may give you a special feeling. Maybe you recognize this in yourself, one way or another? This feeling may be described as \u2018leadership.\u2019 In principle it is a positive feeling, although it should not be considered as an easy one. Sometimes you can see this on a picture, for example, in the eyes of real leaders (although others sometimes fake this feeling). So this is a completely different facet of \u2018solitude.\u2019 It\u2019s not the result of leadership; it simply \u00eds leadership. A leader is someone who carries this within. He has the ability to<\/em> carry this within. Many of us would run away from it. This means that many people would fight this feeling. A number of vicious circle movements later, this feeling has become a negative feeling of loneliness. At the same time, however, the original feeling continues to attract. Of course. It\u2019s a fundamental human feeling. What\u2019s more, it is the deepest humanity itself. In other words, it\u2019s you yourself. Being lonely in a negative way is losing \u2018oneself\u2019 and suffering from it. That makes it feel like a burnout or a depression, or it may even progress into such. At the same time, \u2018being oneself\u2019 is the biggest pull factor that exists. Which also becomes clear when one discusses the phenomenon of \u2018motivation.\u2019 This too plays a big role in the \u2018magic of leadership.\u2019 It\u2019s even the intention of leadership<\/p>\n

A tip for leadership<\/strong>: think of a feeling of \u2018loneliness\u2019 as something that is positive by default, unless you make something negative out of it. In fact, it is a hallmark of great leadership.<\/p>\n

Independent<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Practically speaking, this means that a leader can<\/em> go against a strong current. He \u2018endures the loneliness\u2019 of it. That makes him independent. It\u2019s not that he doesn\u2019t take the opinions of others into account. On the contrary. It\u2019s just the very thing that makes a leader independent to also do that. He is the one who can make a synthesis of everyone\u2019s opinions, in the greatest objectivity. because he does not cling blindly to some opinion that is especially comfortable for him, whether or not this opinion was in principle his own. On his way to \u2018the top\u2019, the leader-to-be will come repeatedly in situations where he has to choose to make such a synthesis. One can interpret this as a test, time and again. Whoever passes the test will move on. Others may move up the chain of command as well, but they do it as a boss, not as a leader. There is a need for leaders, bosses are already over-represented.<\/p>\n

A tip for leadership<\/strong>: an independent leader takes everyone\u2019s meaning into account and at the same time he does not cling to anything out of an urge for comfort.<\/p>\n

What you can do<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Look into your eyes occasionally, in the mirror or on a photo. Try to look for a sense of loneliness, both in a negative and positive sense, as described in this text. Be honest and also very friendly to yourself<\/u>.<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/a>
<\/a>

Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One is not lonely by being alone, but by losing oneself. You may have already heard the expression in the title, or even experienced it yourself. Of course, one does not have to be at the top to be lonely. Loneliness occurs in all walks of life. One can therefore also reverse the expression. The Read the full article…<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/a>
<\/a>

Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3088,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/463.jpg?fit=962%2C564&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Fdiq-Oa","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3110"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3110"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3110\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3241,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3110\/revisions\/3241"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3088"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3110"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3110"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3110"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}