{"id":2780,"date":"2018-12-04T19:00:06","date_gmt":"2018-12-04T19:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=2780"},"modified":"2022-04-19T18:13:02","modified_gmt":"2022-04-19T18:13:02","slug":"erotic-fantasy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/love-relationship\/erotic-fantasy","title":{"rendered":"Erotic Fantasy"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is not about any specific content. It\u2019s about how to personally relate to that content, which should above all be content that relates to you.<\/h3>\n

People should be free as to the content of any private imagination.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It\u2019s only by being free that you can get to know yourself, including your deeper self. Otherwise, meaningful things can remain hidden and unduly hardened.<\/p>\n

\u2018Free\u2019 also means: no guilt, no shame. No (self-)coercion.<\/p>\n

\u2018Free\u2019 also means: no chaos, no addiction (eventually). No irresponsibility.<\/p>\n

Responsibility in this respect \u2013 your fantasy \u2013 is something that you alone can take and only in freedom. It is because of responsibility that coercion should be completely banned.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u2013 OK. So, responsible for what?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It looks like a vicious circle: responsible mainly for your freedom.<\/p>\n

Now it starts to become interesting, because \u2018your freedom\u2019 is difficult to achieve. We already dropped coercion, but when do you know that something comes from yourself, from your depth, from who you really are, from what is integrated in your inner being?<\/p>\n

When do you know that some fantasy is not driven into you through some single experience or ongoing situation that doesn\u2019t belong to who you really are?<\/p>\n

Will you not think back of it as \u201cThis wasn\u2019t me, how could I even contrive such fantasy?\u201d<\/p>\n

How do you know that a fantasy belongs to you?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A simple answer: when you are able to think back of some fantasy with satisfaction and without shame or guilt. If you can do so while it also really feels<\/em> to belong to you, then it probably does.<\/p>\n

You can do the exercise again and again.<\/p>\n

There is responsibility involved in trying to achieve this.<\/p>\n

Then there is also responsibility involved in trying to do this ethically: not content-involved, but you<\/u>-involved [see: \u201cEthics is YOU<\/a>\u201d].<\/p>\n

It\u2019s about YOU.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Imagination is always an occasion to communicate with your deeper self, to talk and to listen in freedom. No coercion. That\u2019s primordial.<\/p>\n

Only then can ethics become important. As it should, even, or precisely in your imagination.<\/p>\n

\u2018Only imagination\u2019 speaks of disdain for your deeper self.<\/p>\n

To me, real ethics is always about your deeper self. Of course, that\u2019s AURELIS: openness, respect, freedom, depth, and trustworthiness [see: \u2018Five Aurelian Values<\/a>\u2019].<\/p>\n

Irrespective of content.<\/p>\n

How-to? Spontaneity. [see: \u201cSpontaneity<\/a>\u201d]<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The most difficult thing to achieve.<\/p>\n

For instance: using porn may \u2013 though not necessarily \u2013 diminish your spontaneity if you let your imagination be invaded time and again by the porn. After a while, it\u2019s not even your imagination anymore but the one of the porn seller. Not so good. Going further, you may become addicted to porn. A warning sign is needing ever more and harder porn.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s not an indication of self-respect.<\/p>\n

Contrary to this, if you use porn as an invitation, it can let you come even closer to yourself<\/p>\n

and to more and more multi-faceted pleasure<\/p>\n

and multi-dimensional growth.<\/p>\n

Eros is then genuinely what it always can be: a never-ending creation.<\/p>\n

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This is not about any specific content. It\u2019s about how to personally relate to that content, which should above all be content that relates to you. People should be free as to the content of any private imagination. It\u2019s only by being free that you can get to know yourself, including your deeper self. Otherwise, Read the full article…<\/a><\/p>\n

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