{"id":2573,"date":"2019-07-26T07:44:47","date_gmt":"2019-07-26T07:44:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=2573"},"modified":"2022-04-19T18:12:48","modified_gmt":"2022-04-19T18:12:48","slug":"becoming-positive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/empathy-compassion\/becoming-positive","title":{"rendered":"Be(com)ing Positive"},"content":{"rendered":"

It happens: people who see themselves as \u2018positive\u2019 but who are such only in a superficial layer, like thin ice over a pool.<\/h3>\n

Being positive is not saying \u2018yes\u2019 to anything<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

and then again, it is.<\/p>\n

But not thoughtless, not feeling-less. One can say \u2018yes\u2019 in many ways. It can mean \u201cI see you\u201d, \u201cI understand you\u201d, \u201cI listen to you.\u201d L<\/u>istening is a way of being positive. [see: \u201cListening to Silence<\/a>\u201d]<\/p>\n

One can also say \u2018no\u2019 in many ways. The most pernicious one of them being \u201cI do not want to listen to you.\u201d Indeed, one may not want to listen because one may not want to change. Except in the icy part. And even there, it\u2019s not easy.<\/p>\n

Being positive is taking the challenge to be able to change.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This is: change from inside. Not some change at the outside with the explicit intention to keep the inside \u2018business as usual.\u2019<\/p>\n

Not a change of keeping up appearances. [see: \u201cDo Not Change<\/a>\u201d]<\/p>\n

Real change is a process of inner growth. Look at a plant. It can grow. It cannot un-grow. Inner growth is a challenge. You don\u2019t go back.<\/p>\n

Being positive is taking this challenge.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s OK. Don\u2019t break the ice. Don\u2019t make it stronger. When comes spring?<\/p>\n

Spring comes when one becomes more and more positive.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The big question is: \u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n

The big answer is: \u201cMeditation.\u201d I mean this in the broadest sense. On a cushion if you like, but it\u2019s not that concrete cushion that makes the meditation. It\u2019s you.<\/p>\n

Off the cushion? Sure. It can be anywhere. As long as you give deep attention. As long as for instance you see more than icy layers in people. People are always more than that. There\u2019s always a lot to be positive about.<\/p>\n

That includes you.<\/p>\n

Looking this way, you become more positive. Sure, now you can say:<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s also always a lot to be negative about.\u201d <\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

True. The positive stance is not to push the negative away. It just doesn\u2019t go away by pushing.<\/p>\n

The really positive stance is to look at the negative itself as the pool. There\u2019s an icy layer on it. By staring only at this, you don\u2019t see the pool.<\/p>\n

What is the \u2018raison d\u2019\u00eatre\u2019 of the negative? How can you invite it to change?<\/p>\n

Do you even (still) want to invite it? Even acknowledging that you don\u2019t want to, can be positive because this way, you won\u2019t spend a tremendous lot of energy (anymore) in trying to accomplish something that you yourself are inhibiting at the same time. You avoid burnout. You avoid making the other person guilty for your burnout.<\/p>\n

And then maybe the ice will melt by itself, at its own pace.<\/p>\n

And then maybe you see your own ice melting too, bit by bit.<\/p>\n

There are many ways to be(come) positive.<\/p>\n

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It happens: people who see themselves as \u2018positive\u2019 but who are such only in a superficial layer, like thin ice over a pool. Being positive is not saying \u2018yes\u2019 to anything and then again, it is. But not thoughtless, not feeling-less. One can say \u2018yes\u2019 in many ways. It can mean \u201cI see you\u201d, \u201cI Read the full article…<\/a><\/p>\n

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