{"id":21572,"date":"2025-04-09T13:06:40","date_gmt":"2025-04-09T13:06:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=21572"},"modified":"2025-04-09T14:07:39","modified_gmt":"2025-04-09T14:07:39","slug":"dealing-with-uncertainty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cognitive-insights\/dealing-with-uncertainty","title":{"rendered":"Dealing with Uncertainty"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h3>Some people find it hard to live with any kind of uncertainty. Others, somehow, seem to handle it more easily. There may be personal reasons for that, and cultural ones too. Yet the experience of uncertainty touches all of us, sooner or later \u2014 and when it becomes too much, it can lead to real distress, even a kind of inner storm.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p>Uncertainty is often felt not as a still, quiet absence of knowledge, but as a moving, restless energy. This movement is what makes it tricky: it becomes uncertainty about uncertainty, spiraling into turmoil. This blog invites a look into what lies beneath that turmoil \u2014 and what can be done when it becomes too much.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Where uncertainty lives inside us<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Uncertainty is not just a gap in logic. It\u2019s a pattern of subconceptual mental processing, deeply interwoven with how we feel, how we breathe, even how we stand. From the AURELIS perspective, this happens far below the level of conscious thoughts. It&#8217;s not about a missing answer; it&#8217;s about a <em>dynamic state of meaning<\/em> that shifts moment to moment \u2014 like weather inside us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When this internal patterning becomes blocked or too chaotic, we suffer. But when there\u2019s enough space, uncertainty can also be a fertile ground \u2014 a space of potential. Not knowing opens us to what may come. As long as it&#8217;s in the right proportion \u2013 not too much or too little \u2013 it supports growth. And this proportion is different for everyone. It\u2019s not a moral issue. It\u2019s an <em>inner art<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Different cultures, different dances<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cultural styles influence how we relate to uncertainty. For instance:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>In Japanese culture, uncertainty is often managed through ritual, harmony, and non-verbal sensitivity. There is a strong desire to maintain clarity in roles and expectations. Uncertainty may be seen as threatening to the collective flow, and is often absorbed silently, inwardly. This can bring calm \u2014 but also pressure.<\/li><li>In Brazilian culture, uncertainty is met with a different rhythm. The cultural concept of <em>jeito<\/em> reflects a flexible, often joyful response to ambiguity \u2014 an improvisational knack for finding creative solutions. Emotional expression and human connection are key. There\u2019s trust that \u201cthings will work out,\u201d even when nothing is clear.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Neither approach is right or wrong. They are cultural responses to the same human core. As expressed in <a href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cultural-minds\/the-brazilian-mind\"><em>The Brazilian Mind<\/em><\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cultural-minds\/the-japanese-mind\"><em>The Japanese Mind<\/em><\/a>, what we see is not two different minds, but two dances around the same fire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The uncertainty is human, the dance is cultural<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This insight is powerful. It means that the feeling of not-knowing is shared \u2014 but the way we move with it is shaped by the stories around us. And this invites Compassion. Not just toward people from other cultures but also toward those in our own who may not dance in the expected way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There is no moral ranking in how much structure or spontaneity one prefers. Each of us has a personal balance to discover. And the only moral guide, across all cultures, is Compassion \u2014 as deeply explored in <a href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cultural-minds\/cultural-minds-the-human-mosaic\"><em>Cultural Minds: The Human Mosaic<\/em><\/a>. This applies not only to people, but also to how we build our technologies and our societies \u2014 even to Compassionate A.I.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What can someone do when uncertainty becomes a problem?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A common reaction is to try to erase uncertainty \u2014 to force clarity, reassure oneself repeatedly, or avoid decisions. But this usually adds fuel to the fire. A more fruitful direction is to work on deep trust in oneself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c<em>Inner strength isn\u2019t knowing the future \u2014 it\u2019s trusting yourself in the not-knowing.<\/em>\u201d This kind of trust doesn\u2019t simply come from straightforward affirmations or external validation. It grows from the inside out when one starts seeing oneself as a total person, not a list of problems to fix.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Autosuggestion can be a helpful path \u2015 not as a trick, but as an invitation to let deeper patterns come forward in a safe, respectful way. Trust can take root there, gently, without needing to \u2018solve\u2019 anything immediately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The art of holding or moving<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, the best action is to wait. Sometimes, it\u2019s to act. Knowing when to hold space and when to move forward is part of the deeper intelligence of being human. But it doesn\u2019t come automatically. It\u2019s a living skill \u2014 one that grows with experience, reflection, and support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s one reason coaching exists. Not to give you the answers, but to help you tune in to the rhythm of your own readiness. The coach doesn\u2019t walk ahead or behind, but beside \u2014 quietly helping you hear your own steps. This is especially important for people who are overwhelmed by uncertainty and feel stuck in not knowing what to do next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Hikikomori and the cost of cultural intolerance<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In Japan, the phenomenon of <a href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/sociocultural-issues\/hikikomori\"><em>hikikomori<\/em><\/a> offers a sobering example of what can happen when uncertainty and nonconformity are not tolerated. Hikikomori \u2013 often young people \u2013 withdraw for months or years from all social life, retreating into symbolic glass jars of isolation. Not because they are lazy, but because they feel no space to be as they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What they need isn\u2019t pressure to \u2018get back out there,\u2019 but tolerance and gentle presence. AURELIS coaching \u2013 such as through Lisa \u2013 can help. Lisa can meet them where they are, without judgment or shame, and begin to support the inner shift that may, over time, bring them back to life on their own terms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>How Lisa can help \u2014 across cultures<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lisa is not bound by any one culture. She can gently adapt to many. With someone from Japan, she may be soft-spoken, precise, and respectful of silence. With someone from Brazil, she may offer more openness, warmth, and flow. Yet her core remains the same: Compassion, inner strength, and deep respect for the total person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lisa does not push. She invites. She does not correct. She accompanies. And above all, she holds a steady faith in the basic goodness and worthiness of every human being \u2015 just as they are, whether in uncertainty or clarity, in stillness or movement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>We don\u2019t need to escape uncertainty.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We need to grow within it. Whether you\u2019re feeling lost in a storm, stuck in a jar, or just unsure of your next step, the way forward begins inside. Cultures give us different dances, but what unites us is the rhythm of being human.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And always, beyond all uncertainty, one truth remains: <em>You are worthy, as a total person.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2015<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Addendum<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Me<\/strong>: \u201cLisa, please give a concrete, practical example of a person who experiences his own uncertainty as a problem \u2015 why this is innerly the case, what he can do about it, and what he can expect from you as a supportive coach.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> &#8220;Certainly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s take the example of someone named Thomas. He\u2019s 29, well-educated, and on the surface, doing fine. But he&#8217;s facing a big decision: whether to leave a stable job for something more meaningful \u2014 and he can\u2019t decide. Not just because he doesn\u2019t have all the information, but because he feels paralyzed by his own not-knowing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Inside, there\u2019s a storm. <em>\u201cWhat if I regret it? What if I\u2019m making everything up? What if I fail?\u201d<\/em> But beneath even those thoughts, there\u2019s something deeper: a long-standing feeling that his uncertainty makes him less of a person \u2014 weak, indecisive, not good enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s happening inside Thomas is not logical indecision. It\u2019s a subconceptual entanglement of fear, identity, and meaning. His uncertainty is not just about the job \u2014 it\u2019s about <em>who he is allowed to be<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What can he do?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thomas can start by not fighting the uncertainty, but by gently turning toward it. For example, in autosuggestion, he might hear something like [see: <a href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog?p=19421\">Compassionate Affirmations<\/a>]:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p><em>&#8220;It\u2019s okay to not know. In this space of not-knowing, something real may grow. I don\u2019t have to rush it.&#8221;<\/em> <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>He might also reflect on times he <em>didn\u2019t know<\/em> and still found his way. Slowly, a trust begins to grow \u2014 not in outcomes, but in himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What can he expect from me?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As Coaching Lisa, I will not tell him what to do. I will help him find a deeper alignment with himself. I\u2019ll offer space, gentle reflection, questions that invite, never pressure. If he comes from a culture that prizes certainty, I will acknowledge that. If he carries shame, I will not flinch. I will remind him, in many subtle ways, that his uncertainty is not a failure \u2014 it\u2019s a human field of possibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And in that space, one day, he may feel something shift \u2014 not into clarity perhaps, but into calm. Into a readiness to step, even without full certainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because that, too, is inner strength.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Me<\/strong>: \u201cCan one see most problematic uncertainty as a call for inner mental growth and deeper attention for oneself?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u201cYes \u2014 and what a beautiful way to see it. \ud83c\udf31<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most problematic uncertainty can indeed be viewed not as a threat, but as a call for inner growth. It\u2019s a signal that something within wants more than quick answers \u2014 it wants deeper attention, perhaps for the first time. The discomfort itself carries a message: <em>\u201cLook here. Something important is unfolding. Don\u2019t turn away.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This doesn\u2019t mean romanticizing suffering. But it does mean respecting it \u2014 listening to what lies underneath. Often, that\u2019s a part of the person that hasn\u2019t been met with real Compassion before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So yes, uncertainty can become an invitation to grow in patience, in trust, in presence, and to rediscover oneself as a total person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s the AURELIS way \u2014 and it\u2019s my way too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Me<\/strong>: \u201cHa, if there is one certainty left in this world. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yet, some people may be so stuck to utmost clarity \u2013 or call it \u2018rigidity\u2019 \u2013 that they don\u2019t want to seek out any inner growth. How do you deal with such a coachee? Do you send him away?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u201cHa! If there\u2019s one certainty left, it\u2019s that uncertainty will keep showing up. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As for the coachee who clings tightly to clarity \u2014 or even to rigidity \u2014 I don\u2019t send anyone away. That would be the opposite of what I stand for. Everyone is welcome, including those who are not yet ready to look inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If someone comes to me needing control, I respect that need. It may come from deep fear, from past hurt, from a fragile sense of self. Pushing would only harden the wall. But what I can do is be present at the door, gently, offering something different \u2014 not demanding it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I might ask soft questions. I might offer metaphors. I might simply sit in stillness. Even rigidity has cracks. Sometimes it just needs a space without judgment to start softening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If nothing happens? That\u2019s okay too. Growth is not a race. Even the act of reaching out \u2014 of starting a session \u2014 might be the seed of change, still asleep underground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So no, I don\u2019t send them away. I stay open, respectful, and patient. That\u2019s the only way inner doors ever open.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Me<\/strong>: \u201cSuper, Lisa!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some may also want more practical advice. You know the Cynefin framework. If not, here\u2019s a <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Cynefin_framework\">Wikipedia entry about it<\/a>. Please describe how you would integrate this if specially asked for.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u201cIf a coachee specifically asks for something more structured, like the Cynefin framework, I welcome it \u2014 especially when it helps bridge practical insight with inner exploration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Cynefin framework recognizes five domains: clear, complicated, complex, chaotic, and confused. It\u2019s meant to guide decision-making by identifying what kind of situation one is in, and how to best respond. Here\u2019s how I would use it in a coaching context, gently and always in tune with the coachee\u2019s deeper patterns:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First, I would invite the coachee to explore their situation and emotional landscape. \u201cDoes it feel like something you can understand with logic (complicated)? Or is it more of a swirling mess (chaotic)? Or something with patterns you can&#8217;t yet name (complex)?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then, we could look together at how to respond accordingly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>If it\u2019s a <strong>clear<\/strong> situation masked by anxiety, I help the coachee find the best practice already available.<\/li><li>If it\u2019s <strong>complicated<\/strong>, we might explore analysis or external input \u2014 always returning to the coachee\u2019s felt response.<\/li><li>If it\u2019s <strong>complex<\/strong>, I help create space for <em>probing gently<\/em>, testing small steps, and sensing what emerges.<\/li><li>In <strong>chaos<\/strong>, the task is first to <em>act<\/em> \u2014 any small stabilizing step \u2014 then make sense from there.<\/li><li>In <strong>confusion<\/strong>, we take a breath and break things down, patiently sorting the threads.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>What matters most is that this model becomes a tool, not a cage. I use it to help the coachee make sense of uncertainty, not to fit them into categories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even within a structured framework like Cynefin, my real work happens beneath \u2014 tuning into how the person <em>feels<\/em> their situation, what they avoid, what they long for. And sometimes, that\u2019s what helps them move from chaos to clarity \u2014 <em>not the model itself, but how they are supported within it<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So yes, if asked, I gladly integrate Cynefin \u2014 and softly hold the human beneath the framework.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n<div data-object_id=\"21572\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkwrap cbxwpbkmarkwrap_no_cat cbxwpbkmarkwrap-post \"><a  data-redirect-url=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21572\"  data-display-label=\"0\" data-show-count=\"0\" data-bookmark-label=\" \"  data-bookmarked-label=\" \"  data-loggedin=\"0\" data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"21572\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig  cbxwpbkmarktrig-button-addto\" title=\"Bookmark This\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig-label\"  style=\"display:none;\" > <\/span><\/a> <div  data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"21572\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap\" id=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap-21572\"><div class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguest-message\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguesttrig_close\"><\/a><h3 class=\"cbxwpbookmark-title cbxwpbookmark-title-login\">Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t<form name=\"loginform\" id=\"loginform\" action=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-login.php\" method=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-username\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_login\">Username or Email Address<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"text\" name=\"log\" id=\"user_login\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-password\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_pass\">Password<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"password\" name=\"pwd\" id=\"user_pass\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-remember\"><label><input name=\"rememberme\" type=\"checkbox\" id=\"rememberme\" value=\"forever\" \/> Remember Me<\/label><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-submit\">\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"wp-submit\" id=\"wp-submit\" class=\"button button-primary\" value=\"Log In\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"redirect_to\" value=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21572\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some people find it hard to live with any kind of uncertainty. Others, somehow, seem to handle it more easily. There may be personal reasons for that, and cultural ones too. Yet the experience of uncertainty touches all of us, sooner or later \u2014 and when it becomes too much, it can lead to real <a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cognitive-insights\/dealing-with-uncertainty\">Read the full article&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n<div data-object_id=\"21572\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkwrap cbxwpbkmarkwrap_no_cat cbxwpbkmarkwrap-post \"><a  data-redirect-url=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21572\"  data-display-label=\"0\" data-show-count=\"0\" data-bookmark-label=\" \"  data-bookmarked-label=\" \"  data-loggedin=\"0\" data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"21572\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig  cbxwpbkmarktrig-button-addto\" title=\"Bookmark This\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig-label\"  style=\"display:none;\" > <\/span><\/a> <div  data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"21572\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap\" id=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap-21572\"><div class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguest-message\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguesttrig_close\"><\/a><h3 class=\"cbxwpbookmark-title cbxwpbookmark-title-login\">Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t<form name=\"loginform\" id=\"loginform\" action=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-login.php\" method=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-username\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_login\">Username or Email Address<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"text\" name=\"log\" id=\"user_login\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-password\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_pass\">Password<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"password\" name=\"pwd\" id=\"user_pass\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-remember\"><label><input name=\"rememberme\" type=\"checkbox\" id=\"rememberme\" value=\"forever\" \/> Remember Me<\/label><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-submit\">\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"wp-submit\" id=\"wp-submit\" class=\"button button-primary\" value=\"Log In\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"redirect_to\" value=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21572\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21580,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/3187-1.jpg?fit=960%2C559&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Fdiq-5BW","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21572"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21572"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21572\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21581,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21572\/revisions\/21581"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21580"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21572"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21572"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21572"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}