{"id":1862,"date":"2018-08-26T09:14:02","date_gmt":"2018-08-26T09:14:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=1862"},"modified":"2021-08-01T20:15:36","modified_gmt":"2021-08-01T20:15:36","slug":"deep-listening","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/coaching\/deep-listening","title":{"rendered":"Deep Listening"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3>is probably the hardest thing to do. It\u2019s also very important.<\/h3>\n<p>People continuously use terms of which they think others surely know what is meant, as if these terms are exact pointers to abstract, \u2018Platonian\u2019 concepts. However:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>look at the brain and you notice that concepts-as-used-by-humans can never be \u2018Platonian\u2019<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>even if one can delineate them with \u2018necessary and sufficient\u2019 characteristics or \u2013 another way to put it \u2013 if one can show their abstract relations within an equally abstract <u>semantic<\/u> network. This would be the \u2018denotational ideal\u2019. Clean and clear. However, then there are always layers upon layers of connotations.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Interesting, but \u2018conceptual\u2019 connotations are not even the end.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>They are only the end of the beginning. Then comes the ocean of <em>ungraspability<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>This is \u2013 of course \u2013 directly related to the reality of our brain\/mind, which is basically not a <u>semantic<\/u> network (in which the nodes are well-delineated concepts) but a <u>neur(on)al<\/u> network (within which the nodes are neurons or even smaller, thus: very \u2018sub-conceptual\u2019). Mainly in this way, there is always an infinity of things going on in our brain\/mind, of which we are non-conscious.<\/p>\n<p><em>Deep listening<\/em> is, to a certain degree but more than is usually the case, opening oneself to this neur(on)al \/ \u2018subconceptual\u2019 world [see: \u2018<a href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog?p=1420\">About \u2018Subconceptual\u2019<\/a>]. At least to some degree, it is a necessary condition for empathy. One finds it in client-centered therapy (google <em>Carl Rogers<\/em>) and even more radically in AURELIS coaching \ud83d\ude0a.<\/p>\n<p>In many cases, without <em>deep<\/em> <em>listening<\/em>, people keep on talking past each other, ad infinitum.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Is this so bad?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Well, mostly not. Efficiency is important. Purely conceptual information may frequently lead to straightforward results and everybody-happy. But:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>we shouldn\u2019t underestimate the \u2018power of deep\u2019 in any case.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Even with purely conceptual issues, the universe of depth that is always there may be a source of inspiration and original insights leading towards otherwise unseen possibilities.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>In \u2018small\u2019 issues: your child\u2019s motivation to study, your spouse\u2019s being happy with a decision for dinner\u2026<\/li>\n<li>In \u2018big\u2019 issues: high diplomacy, world-changing decisions\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote><p><strong>What \u2018<u>not<\/u>-deep\u2019 listening leads to, may be most clarifying<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>since it leads to the world we live in: depression, psychosomatics, addictions etc., as well as an enormous amount of \u2018big and small\u2019 decisions that denigrate human life, causing an ocean of suffering and the non-realization of human potential.<\/p>\n<p>There is no other way. <em>Deep listening<\/em> is necessary towards any kind of better society.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Not all or nothing.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>\u2018Deep\u2019 is always a work in progress. Non-deep may not grasp this, from its own two-dimensionality. Thus it may mis-understand \u2018deep\u2019 as eternally \u2018unfinished\u2019, something one cannot build further upon.<\/p>\n<p>Indeed, it is intrinsically \u2018unfinished\u2019. Remember Dao and \u2018the path\u2019 being more important than the end-of-path. The essence is in the movement, not in a static incarceration within oneself. Dare I say, again and again: \u2018ego\u2019?<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>This path-thing also means that one cannot clearly show when \u2018success\u2019 has been reached.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>An easy way to clearly show this is <em>just not part of this game<\/em>. Goals may of course be attained but then again, with \u2018deep\u2019 it\u2019s not readily clear <em>how<\/em> these goals have been attained, thus whether \u2018deep\u2019 had much to do with it.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>You may be right \u2013 again \u2013 to notice that this is not the easiest path.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>It is the most interesting one.<\/p>\n<div data-object_id=\"1862\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkwrap cbxwpbkmarkwrap_no_cat cbxwpbkmarkwrap-post \"><a  data-redirect-url=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1862\"  data-display-label=\"0\" data-show-count=\"0\" data-bookmark-label=\" \"  data-bookmarked-label=\" \"  data-loggedin=\"0\" data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"1862\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig  cbxwpbkmarktrig-button-addto\" title=\"Bookmark This\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig-label\"  style=\"display:none;\" > <\/span><\/a> <div  data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"1862\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap\" id=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap-1862\"><div class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguest-message\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguesttrig_close\"><\/a><h3 class=\"cbxwpbookmark-title cbxwpbookmark-title-login\">Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t<form name=\"loginform\" id=\"loginform\" action=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-login.php\" method=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-username\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_login\">Username or Email Address<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"text\" name=\"log\" id=\"user_login\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-password\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_pass\">Password<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"password\" name=\"pwd\" id=\"user_pass\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-remember\"><label><input name=\"rememberme\" type=\"checkbox\" id=\"rememberme\" value=\"forever\" \/> Remember Me<\/label><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-submit\">\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"wp-submit\" id=\"wp-submit\" class=\"button button-primary\" value=\"Log In\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"redirect_to\" value=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1862\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>is probably the hardest thing to do. It\u2019s also very important. People continuously use terms of which they think others surely know what is meant, as if these terms are exact pointers to abstract, \u2018Platonian\u2019 concepts. However: look at the brain and you notice that concepts-as-used-by-humans can never be \u2018Platonian\u2019 even if one can delineate <a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/coaching\/deep-listening\">Read the full article&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n<div data-object_id=\"1862\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkwrap cbxwpbkmarkwrap_no_cat cbxwpbkmarkwrap-post \"><a  data-redirect-url=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1862\"  data-display-label=\"0\" data-show-count=\"0\" data-bookmark-label=\" \"  data-bookmarked-label=\" \"  data-loggedin=\"0\" data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"1862\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig  cbxwpbkmarktrig-button-addto\" title=\"Bookmark This\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig-label\"  style=\"display:none;\" > <\/span><\/a> <div  data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"1862\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap\" id=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap-1862\"><div class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguest-message\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguesttrig_close\"><\/a><h3 class=\"cbxwpbookmark-title cbxwpbookmark-title-login\">Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t<form name=\"loginform\" id=\"loginform\" action=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-login.php\" method=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-username\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_login\">Username or Email Address<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"text\" name=\"log\" id=\"user_login\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-password\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_pass\">Password<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"password\" name=\"pwd\" id=\"user_pass\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-remember\"><label><input name=\"rememberme\" type=\"checkbox\" id=\"rememberme\" value=\"forever\" \/> Remember Me<\/label><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-submit\">\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"wp-submit\" id=\"wp-submit\" class=\"button button-primary\" value=\"Log In\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"redirect_to\" value=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1862\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1863,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[9,73,42,26],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/272.jpg?fit=960%2C568&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Fdiq-u2","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1862"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1862"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1862\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1888,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1862\/revisions\/1888"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1863"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}