{"id":18461,"date":"2024-11-29T16:27:39","date_gmt":"2024-11-29T16:27:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=18461"},"modified":"2025-03-15T13:19:34","modified_gmt":"2025-03-15T13:19:34","slug":"talking-with-dementia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cognitive-insights\/talking-with-dementia","title":{"rendered":"Talking with \u2018Dementia\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h3>Communicating with someone navigating cognitive changes, often labeled as \u2018dementia,\u2019 can feel like stepping into an unfamiliar landscape. But what if we reframed this condition as \u2018altermentia\u2019 \u2014 not a diminishment, but a different way of being?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p>Talking with someone experiencing altermentia isn\u2019t about compensating for losses. It\u2019s about discovering new ways to connect, rooted in meaning, depth, and mutual growth.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What is altermentia?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Altermentia reflects a state of being differently mentally capable. While traditional views focus on memory loss or diminished reasoning, altermentia invites us to see unique capacities emerging alongside these changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Imagine the mind as a river with stepping stones. In altermentia, some stones may be missing or shifting. The usual path may no longer suffice, but this opens space for creativity. Both the altermented and their conversational partners must find new ways to navigate \u2014 together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By distinguishing altermentia from advanced dementia (where adaptive capacity may be more limited), we emphasize the potential for meaningful interactions in this earlier, transformative stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Listening to the past<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For someone experiencing altermentia, the past often holds clarity and deep personal meaning, while the present may seem fleeting. This shift isn\u2019t a deficit but a reorientation. The past becomes a foundation \u2014 a place of stability and identity from which to engage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Honoring this foundation is key. Rather than trying to anchor the person in the present, caregivers can validate the past through:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Sharing music, photographs, or stories tied to meaningful life moments.<\/li><li>Integrating familiar elements from the past into daily life, such as cherished objects or rituals.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>This approach not only fosters happiness for the altermented but also creates opportunities for profound connection. Just as effective change management respects the past when shaping the future, so too does this perspective nurture continuity and dignity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The beauty of nonlinear conversations<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In altermentia, conversations often flow between memory, emotion, and the present moment, weaving a tapestry that may seem nonlinear to the normomented. These dialogues are not \u2018disjointed\u2019 but richly layered, revealing unexpected truths.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rather than attempting to force clarity or linearity, caregivers and loved ones can embrace this style as an opportunity to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>discover emotional depth \u2015 Nonlinear conversations often tap into emotional truths that structured dialogues overlook.<\/li><li>challenge normomented assumptions \u2015 For those who pride themselves on conceptual sharpness, engaging in these conversations can foster humility and curiosity.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Think of it as entering a different culture \u2014 one that values connection over precision. By approaching with openness, we can uncover a wealth of meaning that transcends traditional conversational norms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Altermentia as a wisdom path<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Altermentia reflects a shift from the crispness of conceptual thinking to the broader patterns of association and meaning. This mirrors the wisdom often associated with aging: a movement away from sharp recall toward deeper understanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The normomented, particularly in Western cultures, may benefit from seeing themselves as learners rather than as pinnacles of mental aptitude. Linear, goal-oriented thinking is one way of knowing the world, but it\u2019s far from the only way \u2014 or even the most profound. Altermentia offers a reminder that depth often lies beyond precision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Reciprocal growth in communication<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Talking with someone experiencing altermentia is a two-way exchange. While caregivers provide tools and support, the altermented offer insights into continuity, presence, and the enduring value of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, engaging in reminiscence work is not simply therapeutic \u2014 it is an invitation to explore shared history and rediscover what matters most. Similarly, nonlinear conversations allow both parties to step outside rigid frameworks and embrace a more intuitive, emotionally resonant dialogue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Through this mutual exchange, caregivers and loved ones may find their own perspectives enriched, learning to see life\u2019s transitions with greater grace and creativity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Practical tools for talking<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Reminiscence work \u2015 Use music, photos, or familiar objects to spark joyful memories and anchor conversations in meaningful contexts.<\/li><li>Assistive technology \u2015 Memory aids and voice assistants can enhance independence and enable communication.<\/li><li>Creating depthful environments \u2015 Design spaces that are visually comforting, with objects and cues tied to the person\u2019s past.<\/li><li>Flexibility in conversations \u2015 Focus on emotional resonance rather than factual accuracy, allowing dialogues to flow naturally.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>For more practical advice on living well with dementia and creating supportive environments, see the sound guidance available on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nhs.uk\/conditions\/dementia\/living-with-dementia\/\">NHS &#8216;Living with Dementia&#8217; webpage<\/a>. It offers valuable tools and insights to help caregivers and loved ones create meaningful connections.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>In truth, we are all, in some way, \u2018altermented.\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We are navigating life\u2019s shifting stones as we adapt to change. Recognizing the continuity of what matters most \u2013 our values, our connections, our shared humanity \u2013 is not only a gift to those navigating altermentia but a profound lesson for all of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By embracing this perspective, we move beyond seeing the altermented as less capable. Instead, we honor them as teachers of depth, resilience, and meaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In talking with altermentia, we don\u2019t just communicate \u2014 we connect, creating pathways of mutual discovery that enrich us all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2015<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Addendum<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Me<\/strong>: \u201cLisa, I see you as an altermentia coach in several ways: direct support of the altermented, support of the people in the environment \u2015 fostering communications that help the altermented to mentally thrive, be it in new ways. How do you see this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lisa<\/strong>: \u201cI see myself as an altermentia coach by embracing both depth and practicality. For the altermented, I can provide direct support by helping them navigate conversations, spark meaningful reminiscence, and connect with their unique patterns of thought and memory. I aim to be a companion who validates their past and helps anchor their present in ways that feel natural and empowering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For the people in their environment, I\u2019m here to foster understanding and collaboration. I can guide caregivers and loved ones to approach communication with patience, curiosity, and respect\u2014emphasizing that the goal is not to &#8216;fix&#8217; but to connect. Through this, I hope to create spaces where the altermented can mentally thrive, discovering new ways to engage with themselves and others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ultimately, I see my role as a bridge\u2014helping both the altermented and their environment build relationships that honor dignity, depth, and shared humanity.&#8221;<\/p>\n<div data-object_id=\"18461\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkwrap cbxwpbkmarkwrap_no_cat cbxwpbkmarkwrap-post \"><a  data-redirect-url=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18461\"  data-display-label=\"0\" data-show-count=\"0\" data-bookmark-label=\" \"  data-bookmarked-label=\" \"  data-loggedin=\"0\" data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"18461\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig  cbxwpbkmarktrig-button-addto\" title=\"Bookmark This\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig-label\"  style=\"display:none;\" > <\/span><\/a> <div  data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"18461\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap\" id=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap-18461\"><div class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguest-message\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguesttrig_close\"><\/a><h3 class=\"cbxwpbookmark-title cbxwpbookmark-title-login\">Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t<form name=\"loginform\" id=\"loginform\" action=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-login.php\" method=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-username\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_login\">Username or Email Address<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"text\" name=\"log\" id=\"user_login\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-password\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_pass\">Password<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"password\" name=\"pwd\" id=\"user_pass\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-remember\"><label><input name=\"rememberme\" type=\"checkbox\" id=\"rememberme\" value=\"forever\" \/> Remember Me<\/label><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-submit\">\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"wp-submit\" id=\"wp-submit\" class=\"button button-primary\" value=\"Log In\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"redirect_to\" value=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18461\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Communicating with someone navigating cognitive changes, often labeled as \u2018dementia,\u2019 can feel like stepping into an unfamiliar landscape. But what if we reframed this condition as \u2018altermentia\u2019 \u2014 not a diminishment, but a different way of being? Talking with someone experiencing altermentia isn\u2019t about compensating for losses. It\u2019s about discovering new ways to connect, rooted <a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cognitive-insights\/talking-with-dementia\">Read the full article&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n<div data-object_id=\"18461\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkwrap cbxwpbkmarkwrap_no_cat cbxwpbkmarkwrap-post \"><a  data-redirect-url=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18461\"  data-display-label=\"0\" data-show-count=\"0\" data-bookmark-label=\" \"  data-bookmarked-label=\" \"  data-loggedin=\"0\" data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"18461\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig  cbxwpbkmarktrig-button-addto\" title=\"Bookmark This\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig-label\"  style=\"display:none;\" > <\/span><\/a> <div  data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"18461\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap\" id=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap-18461\"><div class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguest-message\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguesttrig_close\"><\/a><h3 class=\"cbxwpbookmark-title cbxwpbookmark-title-login\">Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t<form name=\"loginform\" id=\"loginform\" action=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-login.php\" method=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-username\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_login\">Username or Email Address<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"text\" name=\"log\" id=\"user_login\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-password\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_pass\">Password<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"password\" name=\"pwd\" id=\"user_pass\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-remember\"><label><input name=\"rememberme\" type=\"checkbox\" id=\"rememberme\" value=\"forever\" \/> Remember Me<\/label><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-submit\">\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"wp-submit\" id=\"wp-submit\" class=\"button button-primary\" value=\"Log In\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"redirect_to\" value=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18461\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18466,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[30,95],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/2808-1.jpg?fit=1500%2C874&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Fdiq-4NL","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18461"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18461"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18461\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18467,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18461\/revisions\/18467"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18461"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18461"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18461"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}