{"id":1706,"date":"2018-08-06T07:05:06","date_gmt":"2018-08-06T07:05:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=1706"},"modified":"2018-08-06T07:11:24","modified_gmt":"2018-08-06T07:11:24","slug":"the-art-of-why","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/coaching\/the-art-of-why","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Why"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2018Why?\u2019 can be asked in an analytical way. Then it\u2019s a kind of delving into the psyche. Contrary to this, the art of why is an invitation, the answer an emergent road.<\/h3>\n

The why?-question is always multidimensional.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

One can look at it from a historical perspective, a genetic perspective, a societal one, a personal-history one etc.<\/p>\n

One can also look at it from a subconceptual perspective. This is not something that necessarily leads to a conceptual answer. In such case, it\u2019s a very different kind-of-question. It\u2019s more like an invitation:<\/p>\n

Do you want to look inside yourself in search for an \u2018answer\u2019?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The important lies in the way you are looking for it, the way of searching. The journey towards the answer \u2013 inside your mental landscape \u2013 is much more important than the endpoint, the actual answer itself.<\/p>\n

Or, depending on how you look at it: the answering is the journey.<\/p>\n

The road on which you travel emerges from your deeper self, your nonconscious processing. It doesn\u2019t even necessarily appear in your consciousness. Conceptual associations in-between might<\/em> be relevant, yet before you know it, they are<\/p>\n

why-related sidetracks.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Following these, you may get lost in a conceptual forest that is hardly related to who you really<\/em> are. If you want to get back, you better think of it beforehand.<\/p>\n

It’s said that in a coaching, one should not ask \u2018why?\u2019. I quite agree when it\u2019s in a conceptual way and precisely because<\/em> of the conceptual way. This readily leads to sidetracks. Not necessarily but readily.<\/p>\n

This should not detract you from the art of why.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be shy to ask \u2018why?\u2019<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

as a coach (or a friend). But try to do so while deeply looking<\/em> at the other person. Is (s)he ready for this why? Will it be a most efficient one? Do you see the possible growth already in the eyes of the coachee? Do you \u2018see\u2019 the smile that will arise \u2013 and you will smile together \u2013 as a result of a new insight?<\/p>\n

Equally important:<\/p>\n

Are you<\/em> ready?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Are you genuinely curious about what will happen in a moment right before your eyes? Does it make you<\/em> deeper and lighter? Are you genuinely anticipating your<\/em> seeing how you can help this person?<\/p>\n

Maybe something will happen this time, maybe not. It\u2019s OK. It\u2019s part of the road even if \u2018nothing happens\u2019. Maybe you\u2019re just sitting in a train. When not looking out of the window, you might see that \u2018nothing happens.\u2019 Meanwhile, the whole train is moving along. In that case:<\/p>\n

Why are you \u2013 or why is the other person \u2013 not looking out of the window?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It\u2019s a journey within. The passing landscape is one\u2019s own deeper mindscape. However, looking out of the window is not always straightforward. Many lives are lived as if the train itself is the mindscape and as if outside of this, nothing worthwhile can ever happen.<\/p>\n

Of course, then the \u2018why?\u2019 will never be an art.<\/p>\n

What a pity.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Why?\u2019 can be asked in an analytical way. Then it\u2019s a kind of delving into the psyche. Contrary to this, the art of why is an invitation, the answer an emergent road. The why?-question is always multidimensional. One can look at it from a historical perspective, a genetic perspective, a societal one, a personal-history one Read the full article…<\/a><\/p>\n

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