{"id":14630,"date":"2024-01-01T12:56:00","date_gmt":"2024-01-01T12:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=14630"},"modified":"2024-02-23T16:43:02","modified_gmt":"2024-02-23T16:43:02","slug":"the-art-of-feedback","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cognitive-insights\/the-art-of-feedback","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Feedback"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h3>In feedback, you find \u2018to feed\u2019 = \u2018to give food.\u2019&nbsp;Nutrition is necessary to grow.&nbsp;The purpose of feedback is GROWTH.&nbsp;Otherwise, it\u2019s pointless.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Letting it muddle through turns small fires into more significant fires.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thus, if something is not optimal, you have a responsibility to point this out, together with:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>giving suggestions for improvement<\/li><li>providing the necessary to implement this improvement<\/li><li>deciding this together<\/li><li>ensuring openness.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>It\u2019s always an emotional affair.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Giving attention to the concerned person is also always important (not just in an email).&nbsp;If this attention is poorly given, one risks in response:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>a retreat<\/li><li>shifting blame to others<\/li><li>returning emotional criticism<\/li><li>low motivation, low will to change<\/li><li>silent resistance and \u2018sabotage\u2019 (consciously or unconsciously).<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Tips for giving feedback.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>ESPECIALLY<\/strong>: keep in mind the meaning level.&nbsp;At this level, there is often a strong sensitivity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Show that you want to understand the other as well as possible.&nbsp;Also, really make an effort to come to this understanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My few tips:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Show that you want to understand the other as well as possible. Also, make an effort to come to this understanding.<\/li><li>Give a lot of positive feedback. This is very motivating.&nbsp;People often learn a lot from this.<\/li><li>Describe only&nbsp;<em>changeable&nbsp;<\/em>behavior. So, no criticism of what someone&nbsp;<em>is.<\/em><\/li><li>Clearly describe a concrete behavior that you have seen or heard yourself. Avoid words like \u2018always\u2019 and \u2018never.\u2019 Don\u2019t just rely on the knowledge of others.<\/li><li>Use a spacious I-message. For instance: \u201cI\u2019d like it to be different.\u201d<\/li><li>Indicate the effect that some behavior has on you. Feel free to involve your emotions. Show the consequences of the behavior for you.&nbsp;Let the other empathize with your feelings.<\/li><li>Let your conversation partner respond. Allow time for this. Also, guide that response to some depth if possible.<\/li><li>Avoid accusations. You have no use for the anger of others. Provide precise and neutral wording that avoids any accusatory interpretation if possible.<\/li><li>Make sure you know what you want to achieve. Well, subtlety.&nbsp;No vagueness.<\/li><li>Explore solutions or backgrounds together. Create a sense of co-responsibility.<\/li><li>Appreciate the silence in which the other person can come to their own \u2018feedback.\u2019 The feedback that comes from the person himself is always the most \u2018growing.\u2019<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>I hope this brings you somewhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Self-learning<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, this is a perfect situation to learn from feedback about how to give feedback. It\u2019s a self-perpetuating pattern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I hope that, eventually, this brings you very far.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Enjoy the ride!<\/p>\n<div data-object_id=\"14630\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkwrap cbxwpbkmarkwrap_no_cat cbxwpbkmarkwrap-post \"><a  data-redirect-url=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14630\"  data-display-label=\"0\" data-show-count=\"0\" data-bookmark-label=\" \"  data-bookmarked-label=\" \"  data-loggedin=\"0\" data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"14630\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig  cbxwpbkmarktrig-button-addto\" title=\"Bookmark This\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig-label\"  style=\"display:none;\" > <\/span><\/a> <div  data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"14630\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap\" id=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap-14630\"><div class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguest-message\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguesttrig_close\"><\/a><h3 class=\"cbxwpbookmark-title cbxwpbookmark-title-login\">Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t<form name=\"loginform\" id=\"loginform\" action=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-login.php\" method=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-username\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_login\">Username or Email Address<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"text\" name=\"log\" id=\"user_login\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-password\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_pass\">Password<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"password\" name=\"pwd\" id=\"user_pass\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-remember\"><label><input name=\"rememberme\" type=\"checkbox\" id=\"rememberme\" value=\"forever\" \/> Remember Me<\/label><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-submit\">\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"wp-submit\" id=\"wp-submit\" class=\"button button-primary\" value=\"Log In\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"redirect_to\" value=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14630\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In feedback, you find \u2018to feed\u2019 = \u2018to give food.\u2019&nbsp;Nutrition is necessary to grow.&nbsp;The purpose of feedback is GROWTH.&nbsp;Otherwise, it\u2019s pointless. Letting it muddle through turns small fires into more significant fires. Thus, if something is not optimal, you have a responsibility to point this out, together with: giving suggestions for improvement providing the necessary <a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/cognitive-insights\/the-art-of-feedback\">Read the full article&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n<div data-object_id=\"14630\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkwrap cbxwpbkmarkwrap_no_cat cbxwpbkmarkwrap-post \"><a  data-redirect-url=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14630\"  data-display-label=\"0\" data-show-count=\"0\" data-bookmark-label=\" \"  data-bookmarked-label=\" \"  data-loggedin=\"0\" data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"14630\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig  cbxwpbkmarktrig-button-addto\" title=\"Bookmark This\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"cbxwpbkmarktrig-label\"  style=\"display:none;\" > <\/span><\/a> <div  data-type=\"post\" data-object_id=\"14630\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap\" id=\"cbxwpbkmarkguestwrap-14630\"><div class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguest-message\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"cbxwpbkmarkguesttrig_close\"><\/a><h3 class=\"cbxwpbookmark-title cbxwpbookmark-title-login\">Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t<form name=\"loginform\" id=\"loginform\" action=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-login.php\" method=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-username\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_login\">Username or Email Address<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"text\" name=\"log\" id=\"user_login\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-password\">\n\t\t\t\t<label for=\"user_pass\">Password<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"password\" name=\"pwd\" id=\"user_pass\" class=\"input\" value=\"\" size=\"20\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-remember\"><label><input name=\"rememberme\" type=\"checkbox\" id=\"rememberme\" value=\"forever\" \/> Remember Me<\/label><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"login-submit\">\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"wp-submit\" id=\"wp-submit\" class=\"button button-primary\" value=\"Log In\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"redirect_to\" value=\"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14630\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14631,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2338.jpg?fit=960%2C557&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Fdiq-3NY","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14630"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14630"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14630\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14633,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14630\/revisions\/14633"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14631"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14630"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14630"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14630"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}