{"id":1376,"date":"2018-06-09T14:19:11","date_gmt":"2018-06-09T14:19:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=1376"},"modified":"2018-06-11T14:44:05","modified_gmt":"2018-06-11T14:44:05","slug":"delayed-gratification-no-frustration","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/motivation\/delayed-gratification-no-frustration","title":{"rendered":"Delayed Gratification, No Frustration"},"content":{"rendered":"

The ability to delay gratification is important in any well-functioning society. Can it be fostered with little frustration? Western culture evolves towards a cult of \u2018immediate gratification.\u2019 Is this healthy?<\/h3>\n

Marshmallow<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In a 1960s experiment at Stanford, a number of kids got one marshmallow and could get three if the child wouldn\u2019t eat the one while the experimenter went away for 5 minutes (delaying gratification).<\/p>\n

Forward 40 years. Those who delayed, got on average better high school results, had more social success and resilience, were less aggressive. Fewer of them were obese or drug addicts, etc.<\/p>\n

Nice story. Of course, it\u2019s more complicated.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Did the parents have lasting influence on \u2018delaying\u2019? The story\u2019s correlation is not so much between the outcomes and just that one little test, as being related to the whole surroundings. Overall, it tells us little about the influence on further development of proneness to delay. Still, it\u2019s intriguing.<\/p>\n

What is the influence of (negative) frustration upon the (positive) effects of delayed gratification?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Let\u2019s at least agree that the \u2018negative\u2019 and the \u2018positive\u2019 are correctly put in the previous sentence. Then I think the influence is indeed negative. In such case, next question: is delayed gratification possible without<\/em> frustration?<\/p>\n

I guess so. I even frequently use the specific term \u2018frustration-less desire\u2019 with only this little difference: \u2018delayed\u2019 shows an expectation that eventually there will<\/em> be a gratification. The reward will<\/em> follow. Neurochemically, dopamine does<\/em> flow when the reward comes into the picture, real or imaginary. Without expectation, no dopamine, thus no related pleasure.<\/p>\n

Does this delaying make it easier or harder?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It may largely depend on circumstances. Which is interesting because then we can titrate these circumstances in order to investigate the influence on results.<\/p>\n

So, how to facilitate delaying without frustration? Some \u2018marshmallow ideas\u2019:<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n