{"id":12621,"date":"2023-06-18T11:08:08","date_gmt":"2023-06-18T11:08:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=12621"},"modified":"2023-06-18T11:13:27","modified_gmt":"2023-06-18T11:13:27","slug":"my-dark-side-of-compassion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/empathy-compassion\/my-dark-side-of-compassion","title":{"rendered":"My Dark Side of Compassion"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This personal note doesn\u2019t mean that I\u2019m the only one. I hope there are many and dedicate this blog to them.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Am I Compassionate? I try. Let\u2019s say it\u2019s in me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Compassion\u2019 is not pity.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At least, not in this sense of Compassion, basically<\/a>. But that doesn\u2019t mean an overlap in recognition of others\u2019 suffering has no impact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It has.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still, it doesn\u2019t feel like pity. I know pity. It\u2019s different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The other side of the world<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That doesn\u2019t feel far away to me \u2014 not in place, nor even in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is time anyway? Does it even exist by itself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The suffering of anyone, anywhere, at any time, is worthy of attention. Not possible, of course, but still worthy<\/em>. And that worthiness makes a huge difference. Do you feel it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, please go on with your life.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enjoy. Lead your life. Be a human being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But in Compassion, one doesn\u2019t do so in oblivion. Because that suffering of the other (any other) is always there. It doesn\u2019t disappear under some blanket of not-knowing. It\u2019s not negated, not neglected, not deemed unimportant or unworthy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One may not be able to relieve the suffering, but one feels ready<\/em> to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis being ready doesn\u2019t relieve the suffering.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

True, but what if I say that Compassion is eventually not about relief? It\u2019s about readiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From that, one acts at the right moment and place \u2014 spontaneously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One doesn\u2019t lose oneself. One fills oneself until one overflows from a stance of abundance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This makes the difference with altruism<\/a>, as well as with pity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As well as with empathy.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might read Compassion = Empathy-Beyond<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For instance, I see \u2018empathy fatigue.\u2019 That\u2019s an impediment for many caregivers at risk of burnout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I see no \u2018Compassion fatigue\u2019 \u2014 not in the above-referenced definition of Compassion. Instead, it just goes on and on. It doesn\u2019t drain the bucket. Beware, there may be ups and downs, but no draining.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The dark side<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t mean any manipulation\u2014 far from that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I mean that the underlying feeling may be severe in its own way. It\u2019s a – guiltless – responsibility that knows no boundaries because any possible boundary has disappeared since what feels like a long time ago. Instead, there is a growing Openness, like in Open Mindfulness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t weigh. On the contrary, it supports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t impede happiness. On the contrary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But in no way is it straightforwardly easy. Therefore, it\u2019s \u2018dark.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One might say all this is a bit weird.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acknowledged.<\/p>\n

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This personal note doesn\u2019t mean that I\u2019m the only one. I hope there are many and dedicate this blog to them. Am I Compassionate? I try. Let\u2019s say it\u2019s in me. \u2018Compassion\u2019 is not pity. At least, not in this sense of Compassion, basically. But that doesn\u2019t mean an overlap in recognition of others\u2019 suffering Read the full article…<\/a><\/p>\n

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