{"id":1182,"date":"2018-05-18T20:29:53","date_gmt":"2018-05-18T20:29:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=1182"},"modified":"2018-05-19T11:06:11","modified_gmt":"2018-05-19T11:06:11","slug":"the-middle-way-of-dialogue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/empathy-compassion\/the-middle-way-of-dialogue","title":{"rendered":"The Middle Way of Dialogue"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dialogue:\u00a0 speaking while listening and listening while speaking. Dialogue strengthens. Unfortunately, there seems to be a growing lack of it. <\/span><\/h3>\n

Speaking while listening<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Non-verbally, deeply attentive: showing yourself in your listening. It helps the other to speak well and thus it also helps your listening.<\/p>\n

Listening while speaking<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Straightforwardly: seeing the other \u2018speak while listening\u2019.<\/p>\n

The middle way is not the middle of two opinions.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It\u2019s not a compromise. It\u2019s the result of really listening. Where can you agree with the other party? Are you trying to<\/em> agree? Are you taking time for this? Spending effort?<\/p>\n

Are you opening your soul?<\/p>\n

The middle way is the way in which when two people are really together, something extraordinary happens.<\/p>\n

This is especially important in diplomacy. Wars have been fought by lack of middle way-thinking and talking.<\/p>\n

A discussion is in many cases a \u2018shouting conversation\u2019<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

with discussants each on a separate mountaintop, in defense. Call it \u2018resistance\u2019. If nobody wants to relinquish his mountaintop fortress, of course they have<\/em> to shout!<\/p>\n

Contrary to this, the middle way can be found on a plain. You begin by being present and supporting the other to be present. Near each other, no need to shout. You can start a dialogue.<\/p>\n

Dialogue strengthens<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It brings people together in a way that makes them internally more consistent, more \u2018whole\u2019. True dialogue is wholesome from inside out, in a powerful and durable way.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not talking about a lot of talking.<\/p>\n

Children should learn it. Adults should know how-to. Alas! Who gives it what it deserves? Unfortunately, this is self-perpetuating: if nobody learns, nobody is able to teach. As a consequence, there is more and more shouting.<\/p>\n

Social media<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

seem to have become mainly \u2018shouting media\u2019. Shouting in order to be heard + because of not taking time and effort to build-up having something worthwhile to say. There is much need for listening while writing!<\/p>\n

There is of course a huge trap in social media: im<\/em>personality, making the media socially anti-social. Neither media nor users are to blame.\u00a0It\u2019s like any addiction: people naturally search for depth but drown in superficiality. The tragedy is that they keep searching\u2026 frenetically. Meanwhile, there being little true dialogue in social media, there is a huge amount of loneliness.<\/p>\n

Nature made us so. Nature didn\u2019t foresee social media.<\/p>\n

What dialogue is good for<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It\u2019s good for the partner in dialogue. In many cases, it\u2019s good for a broader group, society at large.<\/p>\n

Most of all, it\u2019s good for you as a total person<\/em>.<\/p>\n

People who have no clue of what this is about may see it as mumble jumble that is standing in the way of action. That\u2019s a pity.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, if you keep filling your bucket, it will spontaneously overflow.<\/p>\n

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Dialogue:\u00a0 speaking while listening and listening while speaking. Dialogue strengthens. Unfortunately, there seems to be a growing lack of it. Speaking while listening Non-verbally, deeply attentive: showing yourself in your listening. It helps the other to speak well and thus it also helps your listening. Listening while speaking Straightforwardly: seeing the other \u2018speak while listening\u2019. Read the full article…<\/a><\/p>\n

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