{"id":1033,"date":"2018-04-26T17:34:14","date_gmt":"2018-04-26T17:34:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/?p=1033"},"modified":"2018-04-26T17:38:35","modified_gmt":"2018-04-26T17:38:35","slug":"doing-your-best-is-good-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/motivation\/doing-your-best-is-good-enough","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Doing Your Best\u2019 is Good Enough"},"content":{"rendered":"

The title of this piece can be seen as a \u2018categorical invitation\u2019, an (auto-)suggestion to strive and keep striving and at the same time not ego-wisely strive at all. The goal is to be human.<\/h3>\n

People do not act morally consistent much of the time.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

An often used example is about a natural disaster striking some foreign country. Two possible scenarios:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You are there as a tourist, safe and comfortable in your hotel.<\/li>\n
  2. You are at home, while your friend is the tourist who mails you about it.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Now say that in both cases, you are touched by the misery of the locals and you want to donate an amount of money to alleviate their suffering. Very good!<\/p>\n

    If you are like most people, you donate more in the former scenario than in the latter. Yet everything is the same except your proximity to the disaster. Although in both cases you do a nice thing, there is still this difference. It\u2019s human. It\u2019s not consistent. Mr. Spock (remember?) would surely point it out. His verdict would be: \u2018not bad, very humane, but definitely a human flaw\u2019.<\/p>\n

    Is this inconsistency good enough?<\/p>\n

    In leadership<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    you may make mistakes, but your subordinates are very pleased if only \u2013 within limits \u2013 they are aware that you are doing the best you can.<\/p>\n

    As a doctor<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    you inevitably make mistakes sometimes, through which people get hurt. It\u2019s better to acknowledge this. Your patients still like you and think you\u2019re the best, really!<\/p>\n

    At school, a child<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    does his best. Yet the child isn\u2019t good in complex mathematics. The parents are helping a bit and this way, there is no problem. Everybody happy.<\/p>\n

    \u2018Doing your best\u2019 is good enough<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    You don\u2019t need to spend all your resources trying to be perfect. Mistakes are OK. Suboptimal is good enough. Being human is OK, even to Mr. Spock \u2013 eventually.<\/p>\n

    AND: there\u2019s more in this than it shows at first sight.<\/p>\n

    This is another morality<\/em> altogether, than getting to strict standards. Instead of to praise-and-punish people into being \u2018better\u2019, this is a morality that is intent on heightening deep<\/em> motivation (no manipulation<\/a><\/u>). It is a morality of kindness and attention, of putting a lot of trust in the motivated<\/em> individual. No carrot. No stick.<\/p>\n

    He who says that this doesn\u2019t work, may have little idea about what \u2018this\u2019 is. He may confuse \u2018this\u2019 with neglect. The opposite is true. The difference lies in \u2018motivated<\/em>\u2019: not easy to accomplish, but hugely important. The core: no one gets really motivated through coercion. It can only grow from inside.<\/p>\n

    Not being motivated, because of being de-motivated<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    When a child does his best and then is said the result \u2018ain\u2019t good enough\u2019, the child may be quite\/very\/completely DE-motivated. Next time, the child may perform even less well -> a vicious circle is born. Sadly, this happens in very many cases. This way, children attain far less<\/em> than their full potential \u2013 as citizens and<\/em> as human beings. A main problem is that this may not be apparent to anyone, including the child. This perpetuates the story.<\/p>\n

    So, in the end I do need to just always praise?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    Nope.<\/p>\n

    This gives the praised-one no direction and is actually not motivating at all. This is neglect!<\/p>\n

    As a parent or teacher, of course you also \u2018only do your best\u2019. Very good! With more knowledge, this \u2018best\u2019 may be better.\u00a0Indeed: it can always be better. This is the flip-side of the same philosophy.<\/p>\n

    What IS needed is deep attention<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    in order to see that the other one really \u2018does his best\u2019. This demands empathy. It won\u2019t work without.<\/p>\n

    For more about \u2018Deep Motivation\u2019, click here<\/a> (login required).<\/p>\n

    <\/span><\/a>
    <\/a>

    Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t
    \n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t

    \n\t\t\t\t

    \n\t\t\t\t

    \n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    The title of this piece can be seen as a \u2018categorical invitation\u2019, an (auto-)suggestion to strive and keep striving and at the same time not ego-wisely strive at all. The goal is to be human. People do not act morally consistent much of the time. An often used example is about a natural disaster striking Read the full article…<\/a><\/p>\n

    <\/span><\/a>
    <\/a>

    Please login to bookmark<\/h3>\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t

    \n\t\t\t\t

    \n\t\t\t\t

    \n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/form><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1037,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[24,10],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/120-1.jpg?fit=961%2C560&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Fdiq-gF","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1033"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1033"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1033\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1039,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1033\/revisions\/1039"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1037"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1033"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1033"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aurelis.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1033"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}